Crossdressing Dilemma; To Dress or Not To Dress?

[wisealbert]

Recently I have noticed that my cross dressing has been taking a lot of my time. I’m starting to feel that I am spending too much time cross dressing and am not taking advantage of the free time I have. I’m debating if I should take a break from dressing just to see what life would be like without it. I have also been a bit paranoid of anyone finding out about it, I am nervous after every dressing session since I keep thinking if I put everything away. My worst fear is leaving out a pair of panties or lingerie for my GF to find and start asking questions. I’m tired of living with a secret, it might be that I’m losing interest in cross dressing and it’s just not worth it to me anymore. I have been considering giving it up for good, and the idea of not having to worry about panties or hiding anything and having that secret seams very enticing. But there is always that fear that I am just purging and will continue to spend money on panties and giving it up cold turkey is a bit drastic. Has this happened to any of you guys and how did you handle it?

[docrobbysherry]

While I too spend WAY TOO MUCH TIME on one or another aspect of dressing, I've learned to live with that! Once a year, I take a long break from EVERYTHING to do with dressing, whether I feel like it or not. Just for a change AND to prove that I can.

DON'T purge if u decide to "quit". Just store your stuff off some where safe!

[Karren H]

Personally.... Life's more than just crossdressing. Its all about balancing what you want to do and what you have to do.

[KaTanya]

Personally.... Life's more than just crossdressing. Its all about balancing what you want to do and what you have to do.

a big +1 to this.
I've been dealing with a similar issue with my gaming lately. Because of the time I've invested, I didn't take care of myself physically over the last four years. Given that I typically spend 15-20 hours a week painting, it's easy for me to drop down to about 10 and spend the other 5-10 training. Given that I can play without ever painting another model, it may increase... but painting brings me a unique satisfaction, so I'm not willing to simply quit altogether. Certainly not willing to purge my Kolinsky sable brushes or 150 bottles of paint. Spend less time with them- sure.

[Allisa]

You will always have a secret whether you stop or not,I've gone years with out dressing only to begin again,until I finally came to terms with it and found a way to divide my time between hobbies(I guess my dressing is a hobby of sorts),as far as being caught and the consequences I'm not a good example it's never been good for me but there is always one exception to the rule.Albert is a good name(minus the usual kidding)I've lived with it for 57 yrs now.Bye-Bye,Lisa.

[Jorja]

Personally.... Life's more than just crossdressing. Its all about balancing what you want to do and what you have to do.

+2 on this.
There is nothing wrong with taking a time out. As mentioned, it is all about balance. Take time to explore all that is of interest to you. Dressing will always be there when you want it again.

[lillyfox]

I agree with Karren, balance in life is key. having to hide your dressing is so difficult im sure as well as exhausting. if you decide to take a break then do it for you but try not to deprive yourself of your happiness. hope things work out for you, i really do!

[Noortje]

Instead of taking a break, you could also dress less. If you stopped entirely, the urge would probably cause a lot of stress. But it should not be hard to spend a little more time on your other interests, and a little less on dressing.

[Barbara Ella]

The key mentioned here is balance. One of the hardest things to find, let alone keep. Please try to avoid the dramatic swings from dressing to purging, to dressing again, that will provide no relief. I spend too much time dressing and on this forum, but I am not ready to give up any of either right now. My new life requires the commitment right now, in the future probably not. Try to cut back. Just be aware of your attitudes and behaviors during this time. Cross dressing can be very therapeutic and level out your moods. If you lose this, it may not be good.

Take it slow, and communicate with yourself honestly about what you are doing and accomplishing.

Babes

[dsmth]

It seems that there are different aspects to your question that are separate problems. Number one: you think that you might be spending too much time dressing (and nothing else) with your free time. Number two: you are afraid of getting caught which causes stress and so ends up causing you to waste more time in a state of stress and makes you wonder if it's all worth it or not.

Well as for (1) I would say that you could "dress" and do other things that you enjoy.... that is... don't stop dressing but continue while doing other things that you enjoy doing!

But (2) is a more difficult problem to handle. One way that this would be less of an issue is if your girlfriend was aware of the crossdressing (and accepted it). Another less ideal way, I guess, would be to reduce crossdressing unless there were definite periods of time and/or locations that would virtually reduce to nil the risks of getting caught.

But most people here (myself included) seem to think that this is a part of one's character/personality/self that cannot easily be ignored. Ask yourself... say... in X years in the future when you're on your deathbed... would you be happy at that point that you did not live life to the fullest extent that you could have? Will you be glad then that you missed out on experiences that you could have had and that could have made you happy? Don't let it take over but don't give it up completely. Doing so is ultimately probably not a very healthy choice... Doing so only makes sense if you think that it's wrong to crossdress in the first place. If you don't think that it's wrong then why the heck should you stop??? Only because the world is not in sync with your inner self.

[NathalieX66]

Your life, like mine, requires a given set of guidelines. You pick out your priorities, and manage your life to find the bestr way to move forward. If crossdressing is an important aspect of your life, then figure out how much you need to do it, and find a place in your life. find the best path that will work for you in the long term. if that doesn'tm work out so well, then make adjustments.

[Ressie]

Recently I have noticed that my cross dressing has been taking a lot of my time. I’m starting to feel that I am spending too much time cross dressing and am not taking advantage of the free time I have. I’m debating if I should take a break from dressing just to see what life would be like without it. I have also been a bit paranoid of anyone finding out about it, I am nervous after every dressing session since I keep thinking if I put everything away. My worst fear is leaving out a pair of panties or lingerie for my GF to find and start asking questions. I’m tired of living with a secret, it might be that I’m losing interest in cross dressing and it’s just not worth it to me anymore. I have been considering giving it up for good, and the idea of not having to worry about panties or hiding anything and having that secret seams very enticing. But there is always that fear that I am just purging and will continue to spend money on panties and giving it up cold turkey is a bit drastic. Has this happened to any of you guys and how did you handle it?

I get that fear of leaving out evidence that I cross dress, and I live alone! My nephew was over during Christmas and saw something in the bathroom that made him think a girl was living with me. ha!

My question: Have you ever let anyone in on your secret? It sounds like you don't trust your gf with it. It's a trust/risk issue. It's a big risk being a CD for most of us. If you tell one person, it could get to others that you didn't want to tell. One can only be open about this with trustworthy people that are close.

I shared the secret with my sister 30 years ago. I've also shared it with most of my gfs since then. Probably the rest of my family has heard the rumor, but I don't talk about it at all with the guys. Anyway, telling one person that you really trust will help you relax and accept yourself.

I've purged once or twice. Maybe it's just something every crossdresser has to go thru sometime during their life. Time is valuable and there doesn't seem to be enough in a day to work, sleep, cross dress and have a relationship with someone that doesn't know. Plus there are other proclivities like reading, watching TV, learning, growing etc.

If I could only get a job being a cross dresser...

[DanaR]

Personally.... Life's more than just crossdressing. Its all about balancing what you want to do and what you have to do.

Exactly, except sometimes the things that you want to do are also some things that you have to do. At least it has been that way for me.

[Kaz]

And many things you can still do dressed!

[Marleena]

Whatever you decide just don't purge. Most of us have done that and regretted it

[Jenniferathome]

Tell your GF and all stress will melt away.

[jillleanne]

Nope, never. Well maybe a little from time to time. Come to think of it, it did happened quite frequently in the past. Oh right, now I remember, yes in fact, it would keep me awake at nights worrying about it so much, now that I ponder the question. Holy crap, are you kidding me? Happen to me?? What, you daft or something??? Of course it happened, I'm normal aren't I? How did I handle it? I purged. I bought more stuff. I purged and quit forever. I bought more stuff. I purged, quit for ever, got married. I bought more stuff. I purged, quit forever, had a son, lost a father. I bought more stuff. I purged, quit forever, son moved away, got divorced. I bought way more stuff. I purged, quit forever, found a new girlfriend, told her and anyone else that cares to know I was transgender, she had few to no issues which we resolved easily by our both acknowledging we are all people trying to get through our short stay on planet Earth and the clock keeps ticking. I bought more stuff and we share it all.

[Contessa]

And many things you can still do dressed!

Yes do other things while dressed as Kaz says. Go shopping dressed with your gf. But please by all means tell her first. Then both of you can enjoy and watching tv is very easy dressed even football if you like. Dress for the occasion not always for clubbing or ball room dancing.

Tess

[Cassy]

I use to dress with my wife, but she decided she did not like. Maybe because it wasn't normal in her eyes. So i quit and threw everything away that i owned. But my feelings for dressing did not go away and when i could find the time i would wear some of her things and change back when i had to. Now i have my clothes, though they are hidden and i enjoy dressing when i can but it is just a part of me not a priority that has to be done. I would not purge if i was you. I would just sit back and live your life and when you decide you are done than you can get rid of everything.

[ElaineB]

Take a break! ... For an afternoon or a week or a year or forever... Nobody is forcing you to dress (right?)

Just be sure you do whatever you do because you want to and not as some kneejerk reaction to events. You can take a break without purging... stuff everything in a box and hide it somewhere. If you really have lost interest forever then there wont be any problem tossing the box out when you stumble on it years later.

That is more or less what I do anyhoo.