Support groups for CD's and their GG's/wives

[WsprsOnTheWind]

Hey gang,

It's been a while since I've had time to get over this way and I've missed chatting with you guys.

I may have posted a thread with this topic many moons ago but I'm interested in responses again.

I am wondering (in my area in particular) why there aren't more support groups for CD's and their significant others. I know as a GG and now a wife of a CD (yes, I married a CD) I feel that it would be most helpful to be able to get together with other GG's/Wives. It would also be a great outlet for CD's and give them the opportunity to dress and get out in a safe environment. It seems that it is difficult to get willing participants to these types of things. Any input as to why?

[Alicia_lynn419]

There is always Tri-Ess... chapters located around the country, though some may be more active than others.

[DanaR]

I think that a lot of people are still deeply in the closet. If you were to advertise on this site a little, there might be enough interest to have some people get together. Most bigger restaurants have banquet rooms; which would be a good place to start.

[sterling12]

Since you listed your area as Eastern Tennessee, I would imagine the nearest Tri-Ess Chapter to you is in Atlanta. So you would have a couple of hours of driving...maybe more! But, if you decide to join, I believe that chapter does a whole weekend of activities. That might be a lot of fun for a couple once a month, you could call it a mini-vacation.

If your near Knoxville or Chattanooga, I would imagine you have local groups. It might seem that in some groups that Wive's might not be welcome, but that's not usually the case. I find that wive's get along very well with T-Gurls, just so long as it's not their husband! Don't know why that is....just seems to work out that way.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[WsprsOnTheWind]

Sterling, I am in the Knoxville area and so far we've found nothing. Atlanta isn't practical for having a local group though. The local links we've found for this area are locked and can't be accessed.

DanaR, we discussed the "closet" possibility but why would CD's fear getting together with other CD's if their spouses already know. I mean I can see a CD outing another CD that they might see at a group gathering.

The closest Tri-Ess chapter is Atlanta.

I think it would be very therapeutic for couples to get together.

[sterling12]

You might try checking with The Local LGBT Center. If Knoxville doesn't have one in the city, I imagine you could contact The On-Campus Group at The U of T. Almost all modern universities have an LGBT Center and active groups. They usually welcome people from outside the campus, or they can put you in touch with a local or regional group.

What do you mean by "locked." You probably can't directly access their Yahoo Group, (that's done for member's security) but, they almost always have some way to make contact and to get The Process started.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[DanaR]

.......DanaR, we discussed the "closet" possibility but why would CD's fear getting together with other CD's if their spouses already know. I mean I can see a CD outing another CD that they might see at a group gathering.

I think that the fear might be more about going out. It was one of the most frightening things that I ever did, when I attended my first Emerald City meeting.

What you might try though, is to post a message and see if there are any people interested in getting together for a meeting somewhere in Eastern Tennessee.

[WsprsOnTheWind]

Well Dana, then my suggestion would be for the CD's to be able to get dressed once they get there.

Joanie, they cannot be accessed. There was one that had a PO box number and my husband wrote them so I hope we hear something back from them.

I appreciate all the comments/suggestions.

[Amanda22]

Hi again, WsprsOnTheWind! We chatted a little early last year. I'm in Chattanooga, only about an hour away. I'm sending you a PM now...

[SusanLCD]

Your original question was "why" there aren't more groups where CD/TGs get together with GG/SOs. But, the underlying question seems to be where you might find such a group in your area.

As a member of the Tri-ESS chapter in my area, I enjoy exactly the type of social get together you described. It's a fact, however, that we CD/TGs are a small percentage of the overall population. My metropolitan area is large enough that the percentage still provides a significant pool of people from which to draw, justifying the effort/cost/overhead involved. (There is some amount of cost for a formal chapter, although minimal.) The "why" question may be that the Knoxville area doesn't have enough interest to justify a formal organization.

But, there may be an easier way. WWW.Meetup.Com is a site where anyone can start a "meetup group." I don't believe there is any cost involved; only the courage to reach out. (That, in itself, is not trivial.) There is a CDer's meetup group in Ashville and the leader will likely be able to tell you how to start one for Knoxville without sacrificing potential members' security. You may be surprised at the response. If there is interest, you will be rewarded with having exactly the organization that you desire and it will be nearby.

[DanaR]

Well Dana, then my suggestion would be for the CD's to be able to get dressed once they get there.

Fear is a pretty strong deterrent. I seem to be more at ease when dressed, sort of in hiding. Most of our lives we know inside that we are different, but if everyone knows that, that could just too scary. If you knew anyone that was gay and the ridicule that they usually had to endure, that is probably enough to keep a CD in hiding. Sort of like being able to have someone look inside you and see who the real you is. It might be very frightening.

[WsprsOnTheWind]

Dana,

Of course I cannot speak from the perspective of a CD, not being one myself. However, I would think that the fear would be lessened if CD's knew they were going to be with other CD's. That's the whole idea of a support group.

Susan, thanks for the link and info. We will check that out. Yes, my underlying question is where to find such a group. While I realize that the CD population may be a small percentage of the population, I have to believe there are many CD's and significant others out there (even in smaller towns) who would appreciate the support and kindness of others. I know I would love to be able to call up another wife and say "okay, let me pick your brain about this...".