Acting with decorum whilst crossdressing. Promoting our cause.

[Beverley Sims]

My thoughts are about exhibitionism by some more militant girls out there.
Going out dressed with a beard or face stubble does not sit with me as it looks like a man in a dress. There are some who are desperate I suppose and these people need support. All they get is ridicule. To push barriers, saying I am a man dressed in womens clothes is just making a political statement and sets our cause back a step I feel. Men wearing skirts. The Scots have that market and they do it well. The only time I use a bit of exhibitionism when trying on clothing is in a small shop where the staff and customers have encouraged and or requested it. Then it becomes a bit of theater. The first sign of disapproval...And SHOW'S over folks!
Does anyone have any views in this area?

[Stephenie S]

Come on dear. There's jerks and idiots everywhere. And the fact is that we can wear what we want when we want to and to heck with the clothing police.

[Foxglove]

It's not something I'd do myself--go out dressed and unshaved. But I think most people in this world would say I have no right to comment on how someone else is dressed. And I think they'd have a point.

[Eryn]

Well, my take on is is "Those who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones." I try to blend when I go out, but I'm on the upper limit of height where that is possible. What's a gal who is taller to do? It would be unfair to tell them not to go out to make things easier for me.

At the same time, there are certain CDing activities that aren't my cup of tea and even cause me distress. Some of them are suggestive of someone who might behave illegally and I worry about their effect on the public's already jaundiced view of CDing. Nevertheless, unless they cross the line into illegality they have the right to do as they wish, just as I do.

[NicoleScott]

I agree with Stephanie. Do GG's call out other GG's for exhibitionism and improper decorum? And who sets the standards?

[Polly R]

Well on the rare occasios I go out, I like to think I try and put on the best display of 'fitting in' and merging with GGs. I know I'm far from perfect and wouldn't pass close inspection, but I do try and behave in a decent way.

I tend to think it is a bit against our cause for those who go out unshaven / bearded wearing clothes of the opposite sex. One exception perhaps, those who go out as OTT female impersonators, ie. drag artists, where Joe Public knows what's going on.

However, each to their own...

xx Polly

[kimdl93]

I personally do my best to blend - tho not terribly convincingly. If I do anything for the "cause" it would be to try and be a decent respectful and friendly person to everyone I encounter. I hope that speaks for itself. That being said, I'm not inclined to criticize anyone for being more out front...its just not my cup of java.

[Lori B]

I`m sorry,,,,I knew the panty lines and my camel toe were going to be a problem....

[Lucy_Bella]

In the end I would suggest just who's cause are we speaking of? Live and let live....Plenty of Hairy G.G.'s out there as well..

[Miranda-E]

how the man with the beard acts in public while wearing a dress is more important than the fact he's wearing a dress.

A dressing room theatre show is much worse than someone just going about their business in a frock.

[Georgina]

To me, blending in means agreeing that only women have the right to wear skirts and dresses, which I don't agree with. Society,for the most part, sees all TG,CD,TS, etc. as men in skirts. To change this men need to wear dresses. As long as the clothes are worn properly, all should be able to dress as they please.

[Jorja]

decorum.... Does that there mean we cain't spit tobacco and go skinny dippin' ?

[Vanessa Storrs]

If this applies to old, fat, ugly guys in dresses, I refuse to comply with your rules.

[Jenniferathome]

What others do or do not, does not define me. Only I represent myself.

[docrobbysherry]

I agree with u, Beverley! We should ALL think about where we're going and who will see us when we're out!

That being said, I must admit, I HAVE SINNED SISTERS! While waiting in the lobby for my ride to a big Fetish Ball in Atlanta, I agreed to do a TV interview! Dressed in Sherry's hottest, skimpiest, sexiest, outfit! At the time I thot, "Cool"! Afterwards, I thot, "SO STUPID"! Never again! I'm CURED!

[sara.s]

Ideally some of us guys want to be able to dress in the future in women's outfits "without being judged". In the current world, It is quite scary to dress and present as men. I say "Hats off" to the bold few presenting as men but wearing women's clothes. It is they who are directly promoting crossdressing as they actually standout in the crowd while others put makeup try to blend in. I don't understand how you can judge others while you are yourself a cd. It's like pot calling the kettle black.

[linda allen]

My thoughts are about exhibitionism by some more militant girls out there.
Going out dressed with a beard or face stubble does not sit with me as it looks like a man in a dress. There are some who are desperate I suppose and these people need support. All they get is ridicule. To push barriers, saying I am a man dressed in womens clothes is just making a political statement and sets our cause back a step I feel. Men wearing skirts. The Scots have that market and they do it well. The only time I use a bit of exhibitionism when trying on clothing is in a small shop where the staff and customers have encouraged and or requested it. Then it becomes a bit of theater. The first sign of disapproval...And SHOW'S over folks!
Does anyone have any views in this area?

Beverley, I'm with you on this. When I go out dressed, I want to be seen as a woman, not a freak. I may not be an attractive woman, I may not be really feminine, but I'm trying to be a woman.

I realize from other threads and some responses to this one, that everyone doesn't agree with me. Some folks want to call attention to themselves and some folks want to anoy others by not conforming. In my view, they are giving crossdressers a bad name.

They probably have a legal right to do this and although I would rather they didn't, they are going to do it anyway, just because they can.

Those are my views.

[Tina B.]

I'm a guy, and I wear a dress, that Say's to me, shut up, who are you to talk about what others wear. What's funny is you think they are hurting the movement, but if you listen to them, they seem to be accepted better than those trying to pass as a women.
we can't ask for people to accept what we wear, and then Denye that same right to others!
Tina B.

[Beth Mays]

Sorry, but I did not read the rules that were posted when I sign up for this "movement".. oh wait.. I cant find my membership card ... oh well guess I am just on my own.



Beth

[Jlake2121]

If only I were blind, then I could see…
It’s the character of the man that that he truly be…

His promises and desires be not true…
Only the things that he was willing to do…

Cover him with mask a robe or a cloak…
Is it not still he, the captain of the boat?

If only I were blind, then I could see..
Twas not the man on trial, it was me…

[jillleanne]

Well, my take on is is "Those who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones." I try to blend when I go out, but I'm on the upper limit of height where that is possible. What's a gal who is taller to do? It would be unfair to tell them not to go out to make things easier for me.

At the same time, there are certain CDing activities that aren't my cup of tea and even cause me distress. Some of them are suggestive of someone who might behave illegally and I worry about their effect on the public's already jaundiced view of CDing. Nevertheless, unless they cross the line into illegality they have the right to do as they wish, just as I do.

Agreed Eryn. My only concern to add to your statement would be the safety of the person. By drawing attention to oneself by expressing as a man in a dress for instance, you risk physical violence to yourself by people not so accepting, and there are many as we all know. If that is one's mission in life, good luck to you. I have always hated violence of any kind and have no interest in finding myself in a confrontation for any reason. I have always been able to avoid or solve any conflict by using intelligence and reasoning as my tools.

[Cheryl T]

While I do my best to be just another woman in the world when I go out I can't condone or condemn others for their choices.
I would prefer that we all be at our best while in the public eye to further our desire to be accepted for who we are and not what we are wearing, but I understand that some of us have needs that are not in line with this. About a year ago I heard that a local "group" would be having an outing to a local Dress Barn one Saturday. My wife and I we in the neighborhood that day and dropped in (I in drab that day). As we shopped it was all to easy to see who was who. One girl was in her 60's, had her own hair in pigtails and was wearing a pink tutu. I'm sorry, but this is not for me and I do feel it gives a bad view of us all to the general public. We look like silly, fetishistic weirdos when we do things like this.
Maybe my opinion stems from the fact that all my life I have desired to be able to go out in public. Not to be noticed, not to wave the TG/CD flag and say look at me, but to just be able to express this woman that resides in my without fear of reprisal. We all have different needs, but please...just a little decorum.

[DanaR]

My thoughts are about exhibitionism by some more militant girls out there.
Going out dressed with a beard or face stubble does not sit with me as it looks like a man in a dress.

Years ago, my wife and I attended an event in downtown Seattle; which had a very diverse crowd. Anyway while walking through the crowd we passed a person with a beard with a very feminine looking face; which was done up to be pretty with a lot of makeup. Except for the beard, he looked nice. It completely freaked my wife out. She had never seen anything like this and didn't like it; which I felt a little uncomfortable too. Sometimes we draw lines. YMMV

[Foxglove]

While I do my best to be just another woman in the world when I go out I can't condone or condemn others for their choices.
I would prefer that we all be at our best while in the public eye to further our desire to be accepted for who we are and not what we are wearing, but I understand that some of us have needs that are not in line with this. About a year ago I heard that a local "group" would be having an outing to a local Dress Barn one Saturday. My wife and I we in the neighborhood that day and dropped in (I in drab that day). As we shopped it was all to easy to see who was who. One girl was in her 60's, had her own hair in pigtails and was wearing a pink tutu. I'm sorry, but this is not for me and I do feel it gives a bad view of us all to the general public. We look like silly, fetishistic weirdos when we do things like this.
Maybe my opinion stems from the fact that all my life I have desired to be able to go out in public. Not to be noticed, not to wave the TG/CD flag and say look at me, but to just be able to express this woman that resides in my without fear of reprisal. We all have different needs, but please...just a little decorum.

Hello, Cheryl! I understand what you're saying here, and to a certain extent I agree with your views and with similar views that other girls have expressed. I've seen CDers do things that make me cringe, and I would also worry about how this reflects on our community as a whole.

But there is a very real problem here. Whereas we may not like the way some of our sisters dress and express themselves, that's exactly what the community at large of "normal" people would say about all of us. So if we want decorum, where exactly do we draw the line? How will we come to an agreement amongst ourselves as to what is good for us as a community and what is not?

This isn't an easy problem for me to resolve in my own mind. I want freedom so that I can express myself. And granted that I'd be a lot more conservative than some girls, how can I ask for freedom for myself while trying to limit it for others? This is a hurdle I'm having trouble getting over.

I view this as a very serious issue, because it is something that could potentially split the CD community, when surely what we need above all is unity.

[Mark/Rebecca]

I agree that it is important to look your best. It is not about passing as many girls are too tall or broad shouldered to do that, but taking the time to look as feminine and pretty as possible may help women to become supportive. I have seen pretty trannies (I'm guessing they were) shopping and fitting in, and I think women see it as a respectful, non threatening, and sincere need to be one of them, and not a caracturisation of women. I am so happy when I see a lovely gurl making a positive impression in public, and saddened by half ass attempts that set us back.