Good times turn bad

[FurPus63]

Hi everyone,
Haven't posted in awhile. Just wanted to share my experience and get some feedback from you all on this topic. I'm sure it's been mentioned before. Even though I have been having a wonderful time "out and about" as Paulette, new wig and assessories to make her look super cool (pictures upcoming); it still hasn't been all perfect.

First of all I had a scary encounter with a man that got me thinking about how vulnerable we CD/TG girls are. It doesn't help that I learned from a lecture by a local attorney that the "Hate Crime" laws don't apply to TG people in my state (Michigan) so all that would ever happen if someone(s) ever attacked me is they'd get an assault and battery charge towards a man (maybe a few months in jail and probation) vs the stiffer penalties and that really pisses me off! This world is so against us it's incredible!

Also; this incident made me think about those GG's who sometimes get accussted by idiots who think they're cool. What a scary situation for them it must be. I'm also thinking about all the sexual thoughts I've had as a man looking at a pretty woman or someone I'm attracted to. If those thoughts were ever manifested into words, I wouldn't be any better than the asshole who didn't have enough sense to keep his thoughts to himself.

Feedback???

Paulette

[linda allen]

I've never understood the concept of "hate crimes". If someone beats you or kills you, what does it matter why? Why is it considered a worse crime for a white person to kill a black person than for a black person to kill a black person? They are just as dead.

I can only figure they are "feel good" laws passed to appease a special interest group.

As far as bad experiences as Paulette, think of yourself as a woman. There are places women don't go alone or at certain times of day because bad things might happen to them. There are things that women don't do or say for the same reason.

Being in public as a woman gives you a new perspective on life. That's probably a good thing.

[Beth Mays]

Being in public as a woman gives you a new perspective on life. That's probably a good thing.

This IS one of the most positive things others never think of when we CD. We see and really understand the things other people face everyday. I can make us better people when we apply what we learn.






Beth

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Paulette, It's a crazy world out there things like that can happen when you least expect it.
Just try not to put yourself in a bad position.

[jillleanne]

Hence the reason I continue to remind people about dressing appropriately for the occasion, right or wrong.

[moondog]

Yeah, some guys are idiots. I took karate classes in my twenties and have been thinking about joining an akido class. Mostly to help my get back in shape, but the self defense part doesn't hurt. I remember seeing a video of two professional kickboxers who were going to a drag ball fundraiser and were threatened and then attacked by several drunk idiots. It didn't turn out so well for the drunk idiots.

[Vickie_CDTV]

I've never understood the concept of "hate crimes". If someone beats you or kills you, what does it matter why? Why is it considered a worse crime for a white person to kill a black person than for a black person to kill a black person? They are just as dead.

I never understood it either. The stiffest penalties should always apply in every case regardless of motivation.

[kimdl93]

There's a big difference between using your inner voice and your outer voice. We all see attractive people, but most of us are considerate enough to keep whatever thoughts we have to ourselves.

Those who physically impose themselves - to any degree - on another person are, crude and vile individuals.

[Dawn cd]

To Linda and Vickie re hate crimes: If a person assaults you for something you DO, that's one thing. But if a person assaults you for someone you ARE, that's a hate crime and a very different issue. Because if you or I can be attacked for who we are, the very fabric of a free society is threatened, and no one is safe.

[linda allen]

To Linda and Vickie re hate crimes: If a person assaults you for something you DO, that's one thing. But if a person assaults you for someone you ARE, that's a hate crime and a very different issue. Because if you or I can be attacked for who we are, the very fabric of a free society is threatened, and no one is safe.

But you've still been attacked and you are still hurt or dead. Nobody attacks you because they like you.

I don't see it as being a different issue. In truth, no one is all that safe anyway.

[docrobbysherry]

Paulette, NEVER beat yourself up for your thots! EVERYONE has sick, perverted, inappropriate, and/or weird ideas going thru their minds. If they didn't, how long do u think organised religion would last?

It's just that civilized folks DON'T ACT on those thots! The trolls and primitives that DO, don't belong out in public. That's why jails were invented!

[Karren H]

EVERYONE has sick, perverted, inappropriate, and/or weird ideas going thru their minds. !

Don't assume that just because you do, everyone does! Lol

[Meg East]

Men who beat up women, gays and cd's are cowards at best. Bullies are always phobic of something and too afraid to confront their inners demons.

[suchacutie]

I think that one of the very strong positive outcomes of discovering that I am transgendered is the incredible discussions about what it's like to grow up in each gender. Once I understood that Tina existed, it was clear that she had to know all she could about being a woman. As my wife and I discussed one topic after another, she became curious about growing up as a boy. We have shared so much that never would have surfaced in any other way, and Tina's insight about what it's like to be a woman has changed so much about how I live my (our) life (lives).

It makes me wonder if CDing will eventually become a sought-after commodity in potential mates for GGs. Wouldn't that be a kick!

[Cheryl T]

Those people are the reason that my wife "insists" (most of the time) in going out with me.
I asked what she would be doing if someone accosted me because of my dressing. In her words, "At least I'll be able to call 911".
I laughed and said, "Gee thanks". It was really funny because as I told her (up until 6 months ago when she finally got a cell phone) "Won't help me much if the phone is in my purse".

She hadn't thought about that....lol. Good intentions though.

[Persephone]

To Linda and Vickie re hate crimes: If a person assaults you for something you DO, that's one thing. But if a person assaults you for someone you ARE, that's a hate crime and a very different issue. Because if you or I can be attacked for who we are, the very fabric of a free society is threatened, and no one is safe.

I'm with Linda and Vickie. From my perspective "hate crime" is just a way for government and "LGBT political activists" to use and manipulate people.

If "hate crime" was really about who you "are," then why would it have selective definitions? Why could lesbians and gays, but not the transgendered be "covered" by hate crime legislation one week and then transgendered would suddenly be "covered" when the legislation is modified the following week?

Tell me, if such laws exist to especially protect people who are victimized because of who they "are," then how come such laws do not apply to all women? After all, women are far more often the victims of rape, beatings, kidnappings, being held in basements and repeatedly raped, etc. Far, far more often than "members of the LGBT community," yet they aren't covered by "hate crime" legislation?

Doesn't that seem stangely selective and at odds with the basic premise of "hate crime"?

Persephone.

[Dawn cd]

Altho this discussion is off the main thread, it's an interesting one. Persephone, "hate" crimes are so ugly because the victim is usually innocent of any act that brought retaliation. They are attacked simply for who they are—their very existence triggers fury in some sick perpetrator. If society turns a blind eye on this, no one is safe. (Of course none of us are absolutely safe anyway, but the law rightly places a high value on our freedom to be who we want to be.) You're right that legislatures are continually enlarging the notion of hate crimes, and perhaps they still haven't enlarged it sufficiently, but it seems clear to me that hate adds another dimension to crimes that are otherwise committed out of vengeance or greed.

[JamieG]

Also; this incident made me think about those GG's who sometimes get accussted by idiots who think they're cool. What a scary situation for them it must be. I'm also thinking about all the sexual thoughts I've had as a man looking at a pretty woman or someone I'm attracted to. If those thoughts were ever manifested into words, I wouldn't be any better than the asshole who didn't have enough sense to keep his thoughts to himself.

This reminds of the first time I left the house in drag. My wife and I went to a friend's party as Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera (I was Xtina). My wife drove (since I had no experience driving in heels). When we were stopped at a stoplight, a car full of neanderthals pulled up next to us (on my side) and they immediately started to make lewd remarks towards us (so loud we could hear them with our windows rolled up). I have never felt so vulnerable as I did that night. It gave me new respect for the troubles women go through, who have to put up with that SH*T just because they felt like putting on striking makeup or wearing a short skirt. Neither one of was even showing much skin. Now it is possible that I was read, and that's what triggered them; but I'm not sure. My friend thought we were two random girls crashing his party until I was right in front him.

[Marie-Elise]

I've never understood the concept of "hate crimes". If someone beats you or kills you, what does it matter why? Why is it considered a worse crime for a white person to kill a black person than for a black person to kill a black person? They are just as dead.

I can see where you're coming from but I am afraid I have to disagree.

Crimes committed where the primary motivation is gender, race, ethnicity or sexual orientation are justifiably categorized as hate crimes. These crimes are committed against a particular group of people identified as "other" by a more dominant group. This is the kind of motivation that resulted in the Nazi death camps, the genocide in Rwanda and various other violent occurrences throughout history.

The "why" may not matter to the deceased, it never does. But to the larger society, it very much matters. To the groups targeted, it matters even more.

I just have to add that it is very natural, being part of the dominant culture in any aspect, to have the perspective that everyone faces the same environment as we do. However, it's not so. I don't know that hate laws are not enacted to placate minority groups. I think they are enacted (in the US anyway) to help us live up to the "all men are created equal" part of the constitution. In fact, these laws have in one way or another been debated and enacted in just about every period of US history.

It would be interesting to get the opinion of someone from one of the minority groups anywhere.

[paulaprimo]

i haven't been out yet, and as a former hockey player, being able to fight on skates, for a couple or 40 years, i should be okay on 5" heels and i pity the idiot that gives me crap cause it will be his worst nigthmare come true...getting his ass kicked in public by a chic in a dress and heels!! so much for me not trying to not draw attention to myself...lol

[JessHaust]

I've never been afraid of being out and getting hurt by some jerk. I'm still the same guy underneath, and armed, ever been hit in the face with a 4" spiked heel?

[RenneB]

Okay so now think what it would be like to be a very hot GG. Everywhere you go people stop and stare. Some will point and others will follow you to take a picture. When you meat someone, they say "oh how beautiful you are", of which you had nothing to do with being beautiful as you were born that way and are just out for a walk.

You walk into a restaruant and everyone at the tabels stop what they're doing, in mid bite even, and glace you up and down. The guys check you out as a mating ritual, while the GGs check you out to find a flaw or to determine 'who' you're wearing.

I know this 'cus I dated a model back in my younger days. She was the perfect 10, with long blonde hair and a perfect figure. We went out for lunch and that was exactly what happened. I asked her if she noticed. She said, "oh yea, but it gets old after a while, and I don't pay any attention to them anymore." We never carried the dates any further and we parted ways, but it gives me some reflection on the human condition.

If you are a really hot GG, most people are going to stop, stare and some might even chase you. Young males will come up to you all the time and ask for your number or ask you out for a date. For those hot GGs that know better, they prefer to go out with others and not be alone.

I'm going to say it's the same for CDrs.....well kindof. If you pass really well and are lookin like Ana Tra**y, you are going to get hit upon by practically everyone. If you don't pass as well, then number of people that are going to point and look are going to probably be a little less. But when you do come across a human that 'wants you', you'd be better off in numbers.

Not sure if this makes any scense Paulette but I thought I'd just share some of my thoughts.....

Renne.....

[Alice Torn]

All violent crime is hate crime. I have been harrassed and jeered at because i was white. Hate knows no colors or gender. Malicious crime is malicsious crime. I agree, that any attractive gg or cd, will get lots of unwanted attention.

[Leslie Langford]

Some very valid points are being raised here, and ones that I can readily identify with myself.

Not long after I started going out regularly en femme, I noticed an odd phenomenon taking hold. Despite being on the taller and heavier side as GG's go (5' 10", 170lbs.), I invariably began to feel more vulnerable and exposed when out alone at night - even in "safe" and well-travelled parts of town. No real reason, no actual or perceived threats, no being "hit on"- just the same kind of sense of unease and apprehension that seems to strike GG's in similar circumstances. And yet, when in male mode, I normally never think twice about doing the same thing or going to the same places by myself. It's almost as if a subconscious self-preservation instinct kicks in when the "Leslie" side of my personality takes over...

[Helen_Highwater]

I don't want to get into a dispute here but "Hate crimes" in my opinion, is a valid expression. Yes dead is dead, but being dead just because of the way you are, and in our case CD/TV/TG is as deplorable as killing someone for the colour of their skin. When you read so many of the threads on this site it is so apparent that being CD isnt' a simple life style choice. It goes far deeper than that.
Labeling something as a Hate Crime focuses the law enforcers to recognize that, if you and I are stopped while driving in our cars, or walking down the street, or being in a restaurant, we're not doing something that is inherently wrong. We have the same protection as any body else and that they, the law enforcers, have a DUTY to recognize that fact.
Attacking someone just because of the skin they're in is something that should have passed it's "Sell by date". Society has moved thankfull, on, albeit as yet not far enough. I am what I am. I don't want to live in fear for being the person that I am. Unfortunately there are still too many morons out there but that is not a reason to let the bast**ds win! All I need now is the courage of my convictions to get out there enfem (and the full support of the law!).