Im confused!!

[jsunic_1978]

I'm actually straight, not attracted to men at all, but other dressers that look really good as your self, Id like to experiment. I typically prefer Transgender, going trough the procedure and has ingested hormones etc etc, Iv been with real women, but a mental block or some sorts of issues keeps me going all the way. I hope this is OK to mention to you. If I'm attracted to females, but don't want to go all the way, what is the problem? I have a HUGE THING (FETISH) for women's shoes. I know this site isn't designed for a self help evaluation, but have you ever felt like this? I guess I just haven't meat the right woman or I really need to experiment with TS and other CDs? Anyone input friends? Thanks so much!

[Ava Tryptyk]

I don't think that it's unusual to feel awkward about penetration, even if you're with an attractive girl (GG). I was initially uncomfortable looking at vaginas and the smell was a bit overwhelming to me at first, but with time I got used to it and grew to like it. Penetration is a very intimate feeling and it should only be done when both of you are comfortable with each other.

[suzy1]

There are vast differences with people’s sexuality.
What is normal? What is not?

Just settle into what’s right for you. And the worst thing you can do is worry about it.

SUZY

[KellyJameson]

Sex is confusing because it is about relationships which are confusing by themselves because we are such complicated creatures with the addition of the mystifying power of intimacy.

There could be many reasons you may want to avoid intercourse, fear of STD's, unwanted prenancy.
Feeling that the act is immoral or is symbolic of a love you do not feel so you are doing something wrong.
Not trusting your partner that your sexual desire will be used to control you.
Sex can be very political so take you time, write down your thoughts and feelings and think about what you have learned and witnessed growing up concerning sex because this will strongly influence your own behavior.

Remember that the brain is the real sex organ and your body follows so learning about your sexuality is really learning about yourself, sex has very little to do with the sex act until after you have discovered yourself and this is a scary confusing wonderful process for everybody.

[Elana]

Hi, i feel kind the same way, i like women, but at the same time i never felt comfortable to enter either, still exploring my sexuality also. Right now I'm looking around for a guy for now, to see if being in the fem role sexually for me would feel more right.

[Aprilrain]

wow people its just sex! really not something that requires a lot of thought. I have been with several woman at least 2 of them were long term relationships. The sex was good but the role never felt right and of course i longed to be in the female role in bed. I would often skip sex with my GF to masturbate that way i could fantasize about being the woman, when I did this i was always with a guy in my mind. After starting transition i really felt the need to be with a man partly just to find out if i really wanted to be with a guy or if it was all in my head. Ironically enough i now find myself in the role I feel i should have always been in in a relationship but the sex leaves a lot to be desired. I believe a lot of this has to do with having the wrong parts though. At this point I could go either way sexually men or woman but I would most likely actively seek out a boyfriend but if a girl came along and it seemed right why not!

[tvbeckytv]

i think sometimes people get confused because their sexual attraction isnt always in the same place as their emotional attraction, or even physical attraction.
Its all part of learning about yourself i guess.
and for many sexuality isnt carlved in rock. Just try not to worry about being one thing or the other..it will sort itself out.

[sissystephanie]

I would guess that the writer of this thread is a young person. I am definitely much older, but unlike many men have only had sex with one woman! I was married to her for almost 50 years before cancer took her. As has been said, don't worry about sexuality, it will sort itself out if you give it time. And even though I crossdress very often, I never have any idea of being a woman!! I just like to wear their clothes!

[ReineD]

To those of you who believe you are attracted to women, yet cannot complete the sexual act with them, perhaps your attraction to them is not as a romantic partner. Maybe you feel an affinity towards them more as sisters because you feel feminine inside yourselves. Maybe you just want to be their best friends, and you should look into the possibility of having sex with men, whether they are CDers or not.

Jsunic, you mention experimenting with either a TS or a CD. They are different. A TS will see herself as a woman and will (likely? ... this is certainly not set in stone) want to be with a partner who plays the role of a man in bed. A CD fundamentally does not see himself as a woman (or he may see himself as a combination of the two), although he may also prefer that you take on the male role in bed, or be willling to take turns with you.

What do YOU fantasize about when you think of sex? You don't have to go into the details here, but just say whether or not you do fantasize about taking on the female role with a man in bed.

Or, perhaps you are asexual?

If I were you I'd go out and experiment with a variety of partners, while obviously practicing safe sex. But if you don't have the typical male sex drive, you may find sex for the sake of just having sex somewhat empty. You may well prefer to have an emotional attachment with a partner first.

Edit
You left a visitor's message on your own page (as a response to those of us you asked for help about defining your sexuality) that I just saw. You mention auto-eroticism in conjuction with a fetish for heels.

It is difficult for anyone with a fetish to have a mutually satisfactory sex life with another partner, who does not share the same fetish. People who don't have fetishes are attracted to each other, and their mutual attraction is what fuels their mutual arousal. If heels do it for you, or the fantasy that you have female body parts while wearing the heels, it will be difficult for you to be aroused by a GG partner. If this makes sense.

You will need to decide whether or not you wish to realign your sexual attraction more towards GGs (as opposed to the heels and perhaps having female body parts, if you are not transsexual). This will be difficult. I wish I could help in this area, but I know very little about this. A sex therapist familiar with fetishes might help.

An issue similar to yours although still different, are the scores of men under 30 nowadays who have developed ED as the result of online porn addiction. There was a major study done in Italy about this, involving 10,000 young males. The men who are affected simply cannot complete the act with a GG and so it becomes easier for them to return to auto-eroticism while watching porn, and it becomes a vicious circle. The few articles I've seen about this suggest abstinence as the best way to get back on track. I should think there is more to it than that, but again a qualified sex therapist might be able to help you, if you do want to have a satisfactory sexual relationship with a GG.

If you want to have s good sex life with a guy, you'll need to find one who can accomodate your fetish for heels.

[jsunic_1978]

you dont look so bad as female I think I need to look for A TS

[Aprilrain]

you dont look so bad as female I think I need to look for A TS

What's a TS going to do for you that a GG can't???

this is not directed at the OP, I can't tell you how many guys i had to explain the TS birds and bees to. NO it doesn't work, NO I will not stop taking hormones so that it will start working again, NO i don't do that to guys EWWWWW!
there is a pervasive misconception amongst admirers that TSes are essentially a guy who looks like a girl but has a working penis.