In three years since I joined in Feb 2009, I stepped out in a way that I didn't think was possible. After living through ten years of denial, guilt and shame, and not having an interest in ******* porn sites, this forum changed me.
Being TG is a subject that few people understand, including myself at one time.
I have discovered that I am not as alone as I thought I was. I have also been much more open with my wife, and more accepting of my inner feminine alter ego!
Life's too short to not be enjoyed! Live each day to the fullest!
In my short 5 months as a CD, I have changed tremendously. Since joining this forum on Thanksgiving day, I have not had to consider the changes alone, and have gotten excellent advice and support. My wife now knows, and supports, I have advanced from being happy with underdressing to dressing in full femme, and being willing to sign for a Fedex package en femme today. (Maybe a little stupid has snuck in along the way), but I am having fun with my feminine side and I attribute that to this forum.
Babes
He (she) who would learn to fly one day must first learn to stand and walk and run and climb and dance.
- Friedrich Nietzche -
I may never get to fly like the other girls, but I do so want to dance, so I continue to climb.
I'm not sure change is the right word, but rather "grown" since I have joined. I have dressed for a long time and always felt comfortable, but since joining, I have been able to interact with a wonderful group of friends here and went out for the first time in October and now try to go out at least once a week with one of the girls I met here in SF. Every time out is a new adventure in Rachaels' life.
I only joined a month ago, so not much has changed about me. The only thing that has changed about me is my attitude. The girls here have shown me that anyone can put on some makeup and wig and still look like a stunning girl, which is positive because I do have a very masculine natural look.
hey Anne, beautiful thread as usual. for that, thanks ^ ^
and a big hug for all the "hard, difficult, harsh, (...) and unforgiving" times you've been through. but you had it coming, that's what you get for stepping out of the fantasy! (oh wait, the incomparable, true feeling of being yourself out to the world — something I can only imagine as of now — is also in the package. whew!)
you're truly an inspiration. I hope everything work out the best way possible. and keep bringing us your thoughts, fears and small victories. in the little reality show that this forum is, you're one of my favorites <3
as for myself... I just joined a couple months back, but since then, my crossdressing changed a lot. I take myself more seriously, I give myself challenges, I'm (sloooowing) leaving my shyness behind... but something particularly nice I learned here is how to pursue the woman side within me and my life, and not as a separate personality. I always accepted my cding, but here I found out and accepted my transgender condition. I still have to figure out what the bleep does it means, but I have no rush... I'm enjoying the ride. ^ ^
[SIZE="1"]It is fatal to be a man or woman pure and simple: one must be a woman manly, or a man womanly. — Virginia Woolf[/SIZE]
Anne, I joined here 2 days after you did and have changed a bit as well. Still not sure where all this will end up but am much more educated in crossdressing and transgender issues than I was then. I have a ways yet to go but have become a much more honest person - with others and myself.
The forum has deepened my humanity by lifting me out of my own ignorance.
Every year since childhood at Christmas I watch the animated version of Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer because as a child I felt like one of the misfit toys from " The Island of Misfit Toys", even than I already felt broken.
Being broken pushes you out to the edges of society becoming part of the drifting fringe so even when you are included you feel excluded. You watch the "normals" as you walk by their homes seeing them sitting around their dining tables sharing in the warmth of their love for each other, building families and communities, going to church, walking their children to school. Friendly waves to neighbors and summer BBQ's, lives filled with laughter building memories like a photo album to fondly recall and you envy them their freedom from the torments that burden you.
The torment defined by one word, Why ? A word that is stretched out to cover your whole life and encases you like a body bag cutting off your air and sometimes the will to live. WHY am I so different from everybody else so that the simplest pleasures elude me and all that everyone else takes for granted is impossible for me.
Disharmony follows you like a shadow, conflict is pervasive and bonding with others impossible, the minds of others are a mystery. Love feels like a prison sentence with a life term and no chance of parole, always the feeling that every moment is a choice between trying to keep alive that something inside of you that is you, a thread that makes up the fabric of your soul even though it keeps you from joining the "normals", you are an outcast as much by choice as circumstance. But why? What made this so? How did I become this way? What evil have I done to be burdened with this unknown,unnamed torment.
And than I came here and now I know and the word is Transgender. Gone is my anger at the "normals" for I see how mistaken I have been in thinking I was the only one and my self pity was selfish because in my suffering I did not notice the suffering of others. I do not carry this burden alone any longer for it is a shared burden with my sisters and brothers. The answer was always there if I had only watched myself with honesty but my fear, prejudice and ignorance prevented me from admitting the obvious that others sensed but could not articulate.
Thank you for your gifts in the words and stories you share.
Anne you have such a way with words. I always enjoy reading your posts.
I haven't been here a year but already I've experienced the pain of the changes that you refer to. Recently I've made a pledge to make more time for Anita and to let her out to play more. I've been making some allowances such as painting toenails and daily carrying a bag/purse. Being here has given me the courage to start being me.
I expect that when I look back after a year that I will see significant changes coupled with many growing pains.
AnitaH
I am becoming a butterfly emerging from a cocoon, I am ready to spread my wings, I have found my voice again for I am holding my head high and I am taking my power back.
“It is never too late to become what you might have been.” ~ George Eliot
HTTP://anitafog.blogspot.com
www.facebook.com/anitah.fog
I'm about 1 year in as well. And as a result of this site and friends here, I am out to my wife. Stress free and enjoying my girl side. Immeasurable improvement in a short time.
Only been a member for a little over a week, and I didn't find the place until just after Christmas so I didn't lurk that long, but . . . Yes, I have. I have gained a ton of confidence in such a short time to not only deny what is a part of me, but to enjoy it. And, more importantly, I think I'm a better husband from reading all the posts about communicating with your spouse, and not taking her for granted. And for both of these traits, I thank each and every one of you.
Oh I've changed since joining! I just read my first post after reading this one. It was from July 2010. My wife had just "accepted" my dressing and life was so great. Well, in August on 2011, she was not so "accepting" anymore and threw me out of the house. In some ways, it was a blessing. I'm free now to express myself how I really want to. In that way I must thank her for setting me free, but I miss being a family none the less. I'm facing a exciting and scary future right now. I just started going out and meeting other CDers and am having the time of my life, but wonder where it is all heading. Anyway, this forum has been the best to be able for me to express and share my feelings and experiences. I've changed a lot since joining and only know one thing for certain, there is more change to come.
I love the sense of community that this forum provides. Being a part of a group that has thousands of members with more and more joining everyday gives one the feeling that maybe we represent a larger portion of society than many of us previously thought. Thus, it has probably caused me to become bolder when it comes to going out or opening up to some people.
But if you're talking about working out deep seated personal issues about cding then I would have to say the forum hasn't had that much effect. I dealt with most of that kind of stuff a long time ago well before the internet was even invented.
After 7 years of marriage, I was Invited by my SO and he is finally out to me; His GG, we are much more relaxed and trusting. Secrets STINK and you never can tell what the smell is! Its nice to have him open to me. Helping out with the make-over has been fun for me. I love clothes, hair and make-up naturally...Fashion Frenzy! Taking advantage of private time is sometimes a challenge and I have seen some helpful strategies here and there...
Biggest change is no longer feeling super odd or isolated.
I think the biggest change in me since joining this site is the realization that this side of me is a much bigger part of me than I really wanted to admit. I had felt very alone for many years and knew that there was no way that I would find acceptance or support here in this little town. I found both here and it's helped me to not only embrace this part of me, but to move forward and accept that this is who I am, that I'm not alone, and that there is a whole world out there full of people who are willing to be so incredibly supportive, and for that I am extremely thankful! Oh yeah, and thanks for also teaching me how to properly walk in heels!
Well ive changed drasticly since joining this forium,not all things were related to this site ,things were taking place before i joined
Im Now Out as a woman Full time,Im Happier,on HRT ,have less money,Lost pleanty of freinds but have gained others,still got the same job,still married with a accepting wife and kids.
Since I have joined my life has taken a 180. I could write a book on all of the changes that has taken place in my life. But to list a few, it would be.
I used to be very a shame of myself as a person for wanting to Cd. I was very shy and was not interested in living and was just waiting for the right day to die.
I have learn that life can be so much fun now and I don't need anti-depressants to live it.
I have gotten a divorce and remarried during that time.
I have came out of the closet. Which is good because it gives me more room for my clothes. I have accepted myself as a wonderful person and now like what I see in the mirror.
I made more room in the closet by getting rid of them males clothes. I have stop CDing and transitioned and started HRT. I started therapy after I transitioned and received two of my four letters.
I changed my name, gender maker, driver licence and passport.
I book a surgery in Peru for a FFS in February. And I am planning a trip to Thailand in July for a SRS.
Those was just a few that I thought of. This site and the people on it has been a wonderful help for me to be the person I am today.
Hugs,
Kristy
i like slo jo,s comment "secrets stink , you dont know where the smell is'" its nice to know that you are not the only one?
I think i have changed since joining the forum. I haven't changed regarding my identity. However, i have come to accept myself as i am. I am not the only crossdresser in the world! I am not some kind of freak! I am me and i'm happy with that. I think this personal acceptance has helped me in a lot of area of my life. Such as my confidence being increased and realising that what most other people think about really isn't important, there are some exceptions, my wife and daughter for example.
Being a member here has had a positive effect on me overall. It is also great to discuss things with like minded people.
Katie
Since joining this forum I made my big decision did my transformation and now I am who I want to be a beautiful woman.
In the very short time i have lurked/joined ,the posts i have read have helped me so much already .I feel i have found a place people truly understand !
I have a hubcap diamond star halo
I have been here since Aug. 2009, nearly 2000 posts, wow.
I have more confidence than I use to have, I will never pass as I have a built
like a cement truck. But I would never under dress before I came here, now panties
24/7, Got rid of my Hains guy wear, all but 2 pr for doctors visits. I now I wear a bra
about 70% of the time. Especially in the winter where a heavy shirt can hide the strap
lines. I dress at home more when I can, and now being retired, I have more time than
when I was working. I now have a corset, and wear that at least 3 days a week, but never
out of the house.
This forum has been a god sent adventure of knowledge and advice on how to do and act
on my love of dressing. I know that I am not alone, there ARE more pebbles on the beach.
Rader
I haven't changed much since joining about a month ago, besides buying pink fuzzy pjs and a top. I'm not if I will really change that much, hard to say. But its fun and interesting and wow I am learning so much.
Thanks to everyone for thier support and stories. I would be lost without you guys/girls
Misteaks are good with misteak sauce. Mmmmmm...Originally Posted by Karren Hutton
I just got that on Facebook... A friend said that they would miss my posts... Along with all the mispelling misteaks!
Crysten
"Addicted to Victoria's Secret".
Anne.
Thread like this often pop up once in a while in this forum, and i have made a promise that anytime i see a thread discussing how valuable this forum is i will always stop and say how much i have gained and how different a person i have become with the help of this forum.
It has simply proved to me that am not alone, that am a TG (accepting who i am)............the acceptance is everything cos it completely dissolve all feeling of shame and guilt which in my opinion are the major causes of anxiety. Then other goodies started coming in.
Posting Permissions
