Anyone read this page stopcrossdressing.com

[jeniinnylons]

Has anyone ever read this page before? I was reading parts and found the following and it seems it relates to a lot of us but maybe not all (does me a lot)

http://stopcrossdressing.com/underst...-i-crossdress/

[SIZE="4"]If I was born that way, then why didn’t I start feeling “feminine” until 4 years ago? Why didn’t I feel the need to crossdress throughout my childhood? And why do I only feel “feminine” every so often?

I only crossdressed when I got an urge to do so. So if I was truly feminine, then I would want to do it on a consistent basis, which is what some crossdressers do. Maybe they are truly feminine, but I am not.

What I have is transvestic fetishism. I crossdress for the sexual pleasure of it, not because I want to be a woman or dress like one. I associate sexual pleasure with women’s clothing, instead of having sex with women.

There are a few other reasons why I believe I crossdress. I was always painfully shy around girls growing up. I have never had a girlfriend, still to this day (26 years old). My theory is that because I lack relationships with women, my crossdressing is a way to bring some sort of feminine presence into my life. So instead of coming home to a girlfriend or wife, I instead dress up and use that as a replacement.

Also, I notice that “the urge” comes when I feel overwhelmed or stressed out. Crossdressing is an escape, a distraction from all that is going on in life. It allows you to feel completely free and relaxed. But instead of giving in to that urge, I can instead find ways to channel that energy into my work. Or, I can go for a walk. Anything that will actually be productive, instead of destructive.

I believe then that my brain associates feminine clothing with sex, and that is why I am drawn to it. Once I am done masturbating, I no longer have any desire whatsoever to wear women’s clothes.

As I continued to indulge in it, the worse it gets. It’s like having one drink one night, then a few more the next time, and then all of a sudden you start having 8-10 at a sitting. You get the idea.

I believe there is a continuum with crossdressing. At first, it’s just an innocent behavior, just like having a beer. Then, a pattern begins to develop. I almost began doing it after awhile even when I didn’t feel an urge to do so. One day, you realize that you can’t stop even when you try to. I believe that I had a sexual addiction, or maybe I still do but I certainly feel differently now than I did before.

Now, while I believe that I wasn’t born with a “feminine” alter ego, I think one was starting to develop as a result of crossdressing. I did notice that I was acting more feminine, but I am not sure why exactly. Maybe it was still away to get sexually aroused. Maybe it was because I thought I was more feminine, and therefore believing that I was just being my true-self. But once again, I am not really feminine. I was never that way growing up, so I know that it wasn’t a part of myself.

My point is this: the further you go along, the worse it gets and the harder it is to stop. [/SIZE]

[StacyC]

People dress for many reasons. If this is why someone dresses than its fine. You have to do what you have to do.

[Marleena]

If you look at the right side menu you'll see links with a religious factor. So I see how this blog is motivated.

If anyone needs to quit and can quit more power to them. I'll keep on dressing though because I don't feel like I'm doing anything wrong and my emotional well being hinges on my dressing up. Girl time!!!

[paulaprimo]

i totally disagree, i don't like beer...

[moondog]

None of this relates to me, and I think I can see why he has never had a girlfriend. Hell, he can't even be his own girlfriend. I found this a sad attempt for the author to attempt shifting his desires to dress onto an external cause...I'm painfully shy...I've never had a girlfriend...I do it for sexual gratification...the "urge" comes when I feel stressed or overwhelmed...etc. "But instead of giving in to that urge, I can instead find ways to channel that energy into my work. Or, I can go for a walk. Anything that will actually be productive, instead of destructive." Yup, crossdressing is destructive, got it, ok, thanks for letting me know that pal. I bet one of his "constructive" activities to avoid crossdressing is "praying away the gay." Attempting to associate crossdressing with alcoholism, or any addiction, is completely pathetic.

First you just start out wearing panties, then you add a bra. After a few weeks or months you're wearing full female outfits. Then you start "feeling" more feminine and you start playing with make up and hair styles. Soon you're developing a female voice and taking on female mannerisms. When that isn't enough to get your rocks off...you start going out fully dressed. Before you can say this author is full of crap you're on your knees...

Nope, not buying it, look at the website. I doubt this guy ever dressed in his life. This is made up to scare guilible saps into believing crossdressing will eventually make them switch sides.

[kimdl93]

This appears to be focused on individuals who define themselves as fetish dressers. Evidently, this fellow developed a sexual addiction associated with his CDing. Too bad for him. If CDing becomes a destructive part of one individual's life...then fine, make some changes. But I resent it when someone projects their problem on the rest of us.

And from what I can tell, the underlying theme is that crossdressing is bad, cross dressing for sexual fulfillment is bad and bad is defined by a particular religious dogma. I am perfectly willing to let people observe thier own religious beliefs. And if those beliefs include admonitions against CDing, particularly fetish CDing, then fine, I'd encourage adherents to that faith to live thier beliefs. But I would also insist that I have an equal right to my own set of beliefs and I do not have to adjust my behavior to conform to someone elses dogma.

[Princess Chantal]

His thoughts are just as legit as anyone elses and I respect his observation of his crossdressing just as much as I do with someone at the other end of the thought spectrum

[Kelly2u]

So sad to be him! 26 and no girlfriend and now he doesn't even touch himself. Self-rejection must be the worst!

[Barbara Ella]

I agree with the post that says to respect a persons perspective. Given that, I need to first accept that a true person wrote this, and I am sorry, it does not ring true to me. I feel like it is a contrived piece written to get to the good parts at the end to emphasize stopping. I do believe these feelings exist and cause a lot of hurt when we go through them. I find it distasteful when true feelings are ascribed to a real person but are really just another ploy. Just my feeling about this particular piece, especially given the nature of the site

Babes

[Karren H]

The devil made me do it! Lol. I posted a comment on About... Let's see if ut gets posted.. Its waiting moderation... I'm thinking not...

http://stopcrossdressing.com/about/#comment-438

[Ava Tryptyk]

Crossdressing is lots of fun, but no one should confuse it with substance addiction. Plenty of people on this forum and elsewhere live normal, productive and healthy lives and have gained new insights into femininity and society by wearing women's clothes. For some people on this forum, myself included, there is a fetish aspect to it, but I really think there's nothing wrong with that if you don't let it take over your entire life. If the person who wrote that article on stopcrossdressing.com is a real person, he obviously had a very negative experience with crossdressing, but when I read the posts made on this forum, most people seem quite happy with their lives and their feminine selves.

[Katie83]

I don't want to stop crossdressing, it's a big part of me, why would i want to supress this just because a book says i shouldn't do it?
If the scenario is genuine then i feel sorry for individual who has written it, however i do feel it has been created for religious brainwashing.
Just my opinion!
Katie

[suzy1]

As soon as I noticed religion was behind it I stopped taking it seriously.
There are some lovely members here that are religious and I respect there support for us.
But this is the ‘make the bible fit what I believe’ brigade again.

SUZY

[moondog]

Here's a reply to a comment on his blog:

"You feel bad about masturbating because deep down you know it’s wrong."

The blog writer obviously believes masturbation is wrong, however, rather than quoting religious text to substantiate his belief or using his own arguments to fight the scourge of masturbation he projects that into the other with this statement. YOU feel bad about the things YOU do because YOU know they're wrong. Nobody is telling you this, YOU feel it and if YOU feel this it's coming from within YOU and it is the absolute truth.

The sad truth is many men and women feel bad about masturbating because we've been raised in an overly sexualized society that both promotes sex and sexuality while simultaneously suppressing sexual urges and desires. How can anybody be raised in such a society and come out even close to "normal" whatever “normal” even means.

I masturbate because I get horny, it feels good, I enjoy it, and I’m separated from wife so I spank my monkey and I try to get a good nights sleep. I also drink copious amounts of beer, watch porn, and eat Doritos. Sometimes I do all four things at the same time, which can get tricky and messy.

There, I think I’ve officially crossed the line and gone into TMI land. I don’t feel bad about masturbating, crossdressing, or my confused sexual identity. I am.

[KellyJameson]

Interesting thread, I have read similar words by others and for them I think it was wise they did not continue.

If I only have a relationship with a woman so I can use her body as a receptacle for my pleasure I am using her as an object and turned her into a thing. There will not be moments walking hand in hand. There will not be knowing looks across the room when we share the same thoughts and each knows this of the other just by looking into each others eyes. The warmth of their body pressed against us in sleep will not be appreciated. The time spent with them becomes the cost to secure sex and their voice an irritant. The relationship is cold,habitual and mechanical.

Crossdressing is also a relationship but it is a relationship with self, it may be shared with others but it is primarily an inward journey unless it is being used to objectify not another but the self and than it to becomes cold, habitual and mechanical. It is our state of mind that determines how we relate to everything and how we relate to everything creates our state of mind. Crossdressing, as everything in life, can bring you back to yourself or keep you locked in a reactionary relationship with ones own sense of worthlessness.


Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will find them gradually, without noticing it, and live along some distant day into the answer. ~Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet

[Lorileah]

So much bad information, so little time. Even the attempt at logic fails. "Gods is perfect, Got created MAN in his image and thus made man and woman (well which is it boy, God's image man or woman?). God does not create imperfection (and yet he created the blogger who claims they are not perfect)." So before this dives into a theological discussion, let's just say the blogger has stated his perspective, right or wrong.

Other articles in this domain are nothing more than smoke and mirrors, citing one thing one time and disagreeing with the same later. Manipulating how things are written to fit the perspective they want to impose and then disregarding that which does not fit their argument.

It is a common practice to make someone feel inferior in order to maintain control of them. This is done in religion, government and even private life. This blogger wanted someone to make them fell substandard. They wanted someone to tell them they are wrong and then to show them the path that they wanted to believe was right. None of this is any different than what is preached to them. The group who is in charge makes the other look bad by pointing out how they are "wrong" according to the power broker's rules. In this case they even argue translations of the same passage and how one religious group says one thing and another says something else. Infighting even among the pious.

It is nothing more than cherry picking. Choosing the passages you WANT to apply and ignoring the rest. It failed with the "God is perfect. God does not make mistakes" argument and then points out the mistakes (ie crossdressers) God has made. Error does not compute, you can't have it both ways

[Julogden]

I think Acastina nailed it: it's probably fictional and an attempt to lure in CD's who are having guilt issues, an attempt to "bring them to god", if you will. It's a crock of reeking bullsheet as far as I'm concerned, and I hate to see stuff like that because you just know that some self-appointed "religious" expert (probably the person who put it there in the first place) will cite it as proof that CD's can/should quit dressing, with the implication being that ALL CD's should follow that example.

Carol

[andrea35]

In my case I found out that when I crossdress I am a better more caring husband and I am happier. the opposite is true when I stop doing it.

[sterling12]

Why I think this True Life Confession was written by a Forty-something Assistant Pastor, probably in charge of Youth Ministries. Has anyone ever really heard a twenty six year old exclaim: "I'd go for a walk," to suppress his sexual feelings? He might say, "I'd go down to The Gym and workout," or "I'd hang out down at The local Whatever where other twenty somethings are known to congregate;" but Take A Walk? Us old, fat guys usually "take a walk," and usually at the urging of our Doctors.

He further questions the genuineness of being transgendered by asking: "Why didn't I feel this way with FIRST AWARENESS?" Well, as most of us know from personal history's, that even if we did not dress when younger, even if we suppressed "The Urge," it was always there! That statement sounds like someone who a.) hasn't actually experienced being transgendered, and b.) has never actually tried to talk to any experienced person about it!

If this Blog is genuine, (which I doubt) our young person shouldn't be so quick to declare himself cured. Listening to, and Reading Life Stories says that "down the road;" in a few days, or a few weeks.... or many years, The Urge will come back stronger than ever. Having Failed, (especially after seeking the aide of God) is a formula for self-loathing and possible suicide. I do hope our Preacher has written something, or tried to provide some type of "safety net" within his Blog for all those folks who heed his Call and fall short. If he didn't, and he believes in A God who also provides Forgiveness, and retribution; then there will certainly be some Hell to pay!

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Hali]

Its sad why religious pple wont quit the unrealistic desire of assuming all human beings are the same, that all humans have the same distribution of X-Y chromosomes, that we cant have pple with genetic predisposition of having less male hormones or a man having more of femme hormones, it all boils down to the fact that some pple are so into God that they are willing to go to any extent to please a God that has never called them on the phone to say hi or to explain to them why he created them instead he has appointed an interpreter or the interpreter has appointed himself to do it for him.

The science community is putting alot of money into researches involving TG so that they will atleast have a say in any "sexual deviance" when such situations arise, but instead the religious institutions will not invest money into researches on human sexuality so as to be well informed. Let them publish journals and show experiments carried out by the church to support their theory that CDing is simply bad and destructive and as mammals we dont have it in our genes.

I have never seen myself as 100% guy (what ever that means) and that we CDers are "weak" by giving into CDing, well i think it is a sign of strength to accept who u truly are (ones identity no matter how down grading that identity is than to parade one self as a part of an identity that is not his).

Humans have a bad habit of condemning things they dont understand.

Let us see published work of science by the critics of LGBT culture, let there be so many scientific data on our "condition" to warrant our condemnation.

[~Joanne~]

I went to see if karen's post got posted or not. I read the babble comment to someones which did get posted and that was enough to tell me everything I needed to know about that website and it's intentions.

[Kerigirl2009]

Does not describe me at all.

[whowhatwhen]

Good luck back in that closet buddy, keep on repressing those feelings.
It's not like repressing deep seated feelings due to religious beliefs ever hurt anyone...

[Vickie_CDTV]

How does he define "sexual addiction" anyway, and what are the parameters between normal healthy libido and "addiction", and how did he come to those parameters anyway? At his age he should have a high libido, and if he associates dressing with sexual release it only makes sense he would do it often... but what is the definition of too much and how does he know?

I can identify with him on some level, if my ex girlfriend hadn't been in the picture I could have been 26 and not had a girlfriend yet either. Loneliness can be a very painful thing, when one is not desirable to any woman and forced to be alone, something that many folks can't understand.

[LaurenB]

Religious hooey designed to lure CD's in and then scare em with fire and brimstone.

Ye are of Dress Barn I say and dammit get thee to a hosiery ... shop.
Lauren 6 and 7/8's

Go Tom Brady! (Sorry)