This is the first time I've really felt this way. I have to go pick up my girlfriend from work soon so had to change back into guy clothes. I've been sitting here doing homework for a few hours while dressed. This is the first time I've really felt regret about having to change my clothes. Definitely no hard feelings towards the girlfriend, just kind of bummed.
Maybe it is time to tell her!! She will find out sooner or later, so why wait!
Stephanie
Lady on the outside, but man underneath!
happens every time I have to go back to male clothes.
She knows, Stephanie. I told her as soon as I realized it was something I wanted to delve into more. She just doesn't care for it all that much so would rather it be out of sight.
Hi Johnny,
in the recent past, I've managed to strike a balance between the time I spend dressed and when I dress in my male cloths.
So I'm quite happy with my present level of CDing and don't experience that sense of regret which you describe (anymore).
By the way, when CDing was my secret alone (which is no longer the case, thank God), a sense of shame led to all sorts of confusion in my life.
I now regret having wasted so much energy so needlessly.
Ach, it's easy to simply enjoy the time you spend dressed... and look forward to the next opportunity!
Gaby
[SIZE="1"]When Irish Eyes Are Smiling... In the lilt of Irish laughter... When Irish hearts are happy... And When Irish Eyes Are Smiling... [/SIZE]
Good advice Gaby. I don't feel ashamed about it to often. Once in awhile it hits but I generally resist changing anything when I do feel ashamed about it. It usually passes within a few minutes that way.
I have to fight the regret sometimes it can turn in to resentment which is'nt fair to others becouse they only know my male side. I have to be the one to make sure I have my girl time.
"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom" Anais Nin.
Live, Laugh, and Love Yourself!
I feel the same way. Especially when it takes me so long to get ready!!! :P
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Dont' beat yourself up over it too much. Having to change shouldn't bring your mood down to much. It sure sucks, but you've got 1 life to live, so there is no reason not to make the best of every situation.
If you ever find yourself to be unhappy, YouTube "soldier surprises (daughter, brother, sister, family" and I guarantee it will make you all fuzzy inside and usually will grab a few tears from your eyes.
I understand your situation. If your gf is not accepting now, think of what it will be like in the future. You need to consider your relationship. Will she become less accepting in the future? Will she hold it over you? I can't guide you, but you need to work it out now rather than later.
Thanks for the comments. I think I was a bit misleading mentioning the girlfriend in there. We have talked about it and she has all the current info and we have a standing policy that if any feelings change we'll talk to each other first. She's ok with me doing this in private, she just doesn't really want anything to do with it. Her biggest fear is that she'll lose me because of it. Which is absolutely not going to happen.
The regret was just a general feeling of having to take the clothes off. I think it was an in the moment sort of thing. I think I would have felt it regardless of why I had to change clothes. I think it had to do with being so very comfortable.
Many of us go through this, Johnny- it's natural and just do what you can to find the right balance for yourself.
Last edited by Jacqueline Winona; 02-09-2012 at 02:25 AM.
Actually, this is a very normal feeling for many of us. Getting dressed up is something we enjoy, but it's also quite a bit of art. When dressed, we feel pretty, we have a different type of self-esteem, and we have chosen the look, the make-up, the wardrobe, the wig, and the clothes.
When we are "forced" to trash the artwork, the fruit of all that effort, it's often under internal protest. We don't want to give up the dress, but we have to, in your case, to go pick up your girlfriend.
For those who are transgendered to the point of being transsexual, 5's and 6's, the level of pain is much more intense, they dress up to make their outsides match the girl on the inside. It's one of the few times when they get to "Be Themselves". Switching back to guy mode is very painful, and the TS experiences it almost like a form of death. They must stop being who they really are, and go back to pretend to be something they hate being.
I'm transsexual - and changing back to boy mode is very painful for me. My energy level drops, I get headaches, I can't fall asleep, a don't want to wake up, and I don't want to look in the mirror any longer than necessary. Sometimes that pain spills over into family life, work life, and community life.
Hey, Out of sight is not out of mind. You DO Look Good! You put a LOT of artistry into it!
Caution is good considering you care enough to post here!
Acknowledge her feminine beauty.
If you wish to prolong your relationship you will be best served by a natural progression with fearlessly open, yet sensitive and timely communication.
Communication is a 2 way street.
REALIZE Nothing is ever perfect.
OH am I a babe in the woods...
Happier with my SO CD/TG and learning more every day,
Best,
Slo Jo
Last edited by Slo Jo; 02-09-2012 at 02:18 AM.
Give your SO respect, time and space. I believe that with a strong relationship the dessing will not matter after a while, albeit the while maybe a couple of years.
I like my closet, its where all my clothes are
Johnny why not wear something a bit boyish on top of your nylons/pantyhose. I don't think all the feeling will go away if you don't take off everything. Find a pleasant balance that is always out of sight but still there for you. I think where there is a will there is a way to feel real. Good Luck Girl
Contessa Marie
[COLOR="blue"]Contessa Marie D
I'm TG. A fem-male so I look male sometimes.
Dressing is necessary, the type of clothes you wear not so much.
This above all to thy own self be true!
Yep, that feeling when I have to take it off and put it all away is horrible.
These Dysphoric moments are what drive many of my worst days as a TG...back before I was presenting enfemme as much as I am now I used certain tricks..like under dressing, keeping my nails polished and dressing Androgynous to curb these resentful feelings....it still helps but I feel it getting more and more difficult to switch gender presentations throughout my week for the comfort of others.
There are no "Cookie Cutter" answers for the feelings you have...you will have to find what works for you and your situation. Until then, enjoy the time you have and concentrate on the time you have coming up.
[SIZE="3"]"I can't talk girl talk when there is a guy inside my head." Gracie Lou Freebush[/SIZE]
Is this all that's left of my life before me. Straight Jacket Memories and Seditive Highs! No Happy Ending like they always Promised...There's got to be something left for me... And I Turn my Head and Stare into the Eyes of a Stranger.
To those of you who consider yourselves to be "Cat People" I apologize in advance for I am not.
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