If someone close to you,who really knew all about you, such as your SO or a close friend or relative asked you straight out: "What is more important to you, the CDing or the family?", how would you answer such a question?
If someone close to you,who really knew all about you, such as your SO or a close friend or relative asked you straight out: "What is more important to you, the CDing or the family?", how would you answer such a question?
Second star to the right and straight on till morning
I have been ask that very question by my wife....
My reply.... "I hope my family can help me find a balance."
As for now it is working...
Beth
Last edited by Beth Mays; 02-23-2012 at 09:19 AM.
Maximus Decimus Meridius (Gladiator):
What we do in this life, echoes in eternity..
You can fine me here on Facebook!
My answer is a no brainer. My family. Or more directly, my one and only SO. She's about all the family I have.
Beth, I liked your response to your wife's question. I have not been asked that question by my SO, but we find a happy balance for the both of us.
Family
Job
Just about everything else in my life
.
.
.
.
.
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Crossdressing
Most of us already have done it an its not easy but it would have to be the family ,, An that comes with a price also,, If I had to STOP I would but then I would have no choice but to stop dressing an start back drinking ,,Its the lesser of two EVILS ,,,, So make the choice ,, DRUNK AZZ HOLE or SWEET fat GIRL ,,, tAKE YOUR PIC ,,, The worlds not fair ,, It was not fair to me ,,,, So what makes anyone else any different ,, Everybody has something wrong with em ,,,, Just some are different than others ,, What ever is the matter with ya its all on you to make the final choice .
Yull Find Out !!! lol,,,,
I had to correct your post before someone else did Karen. You left out your favorite! LOLOriginally Posted by Karren Hutton
Family,
x
x
x
A lot of other things.
x
Cross Dressing
No it probably is not near the bottom.
It is probably not far down the list either.
Family and getting on with life do come first.
It is just an all consuming hobby.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
Before I married, I made sure that my wife-to-be was comfortable with my cross dressing. I think we all know what can happen if we repress our dressing desires for a long length of time.
Needless to say, I love my wife of 16 + years very much but the fact is how happy could we be if we had to hide or put off these strong internal desires just for the sake of the family?
The repression would definitely affect the relationship depending on how we could deal with not being able to express ourselves as we need to.
So getting back to the question, most people say family first and honestly that would be my choice as well but waiting for the CD volcano to explode could possibly destroy that family.
I am one of the lucky ones who because I was honest about my dressing before well before we married, my wife got used to the idea and because it was brought up pre-marriage, it gave both of us an out if the situation was not workable by either of us.
Just my One-Cent, Lost the other Cent in the Economy.
I have lost the battle with this question. I tried to choose the family, but they can't accept me. Yes I waited too long to tell my wife (38 years). So the lady wins, which one you ask I don't know. I am still hear though til I can afford another place. I meant no harm to anyone. I just can't go back to being the sad depressed man. Better off a happy lady, which one both I guess.
[COLOR="blue"]Contessa Marie D
I'm TG. A fem-male so I look male sometimes.
Dressing is necessary, the type of clothes you wear not so much.
This above all to thy own self be true!
Since that type of question is a manipulating tool, I'd answer "not sure abut the rest of the family but its more important than you."
Family of course, but if I am not comfortable with who I am then how can I be my best for the family?
I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !
I would ask them "Whats more important to you...Having me in your life as a Live Female or a Dead Male?"...cause those are the choices as I see them at the moment.
[SIZE="3"]"I can't talk girl talk when there is a guy inside my head." Gracie Lou Freebush[/SIZE]
Is this all that's left of my life before me. Straight Jacket Memories and Seditive Highs! No Happy Ending like they always Promised...There's got to be something left for me... And I Turn my Head and Stare into the Eyes of a Stranger.
To those of you who consider yourselves to be "Cat People" I apologize in advance for I am not.
That's a loaded question, and not one prone to an easy black-or-white answer.
I guess my knee-jerk response would be to answer with a rhetorical question of my own: Who has the right - SO's included - to force anyone to make such a "Sophie's Choice" type of a decision between the two, when surely some other type of compromise could conceivably be negotiated. For those of us whose transgenderism is so intricately tied to their sense of self and who they fundamentally are, deep down inside - who has the right to force us into a position where our very mental health is at stake, and where we risk slipping into a depression if we are forced to suppress such an integral part of ourselves - just because the other party doesn't "like" it? It would not be a huge stretch to equate those types of demands to outright bullying on the part of those making them of us.
And before all the GG's here come after me brandishing pitchforks and torches, the operative word here is "compromise". Yes, I get it. Many of us did not reveal this side of ourselves to you before we were well into the relationship or were married because we were working on the assumption that this was just a passing phase (NOT!). And yes, we recognize that this is something that you didn't sign up for originally. But then again, we were embarking on a journey of self-discovery at the time - much the same as the journey that you are on now tying to make sense of all this and wondering how to move forward knowing what you now know.
But putting a gun to our heads and forcing us to make such a "lose-lose" choice is unfair when other, more middle-of-the road solutions can work instead, and where each party's dignity and sense of self-worth is not sacrificed in the process. In my own situation, I'm prepared to accept certain boundaries within the DADT framework of our marriage. Trouble is, my wife tends to move the goalposts from time to time depending on her disposition on any given day. From some of the other posts that I've seen on these forums, I'm sure that many of the other ladies here can relate.
But the bottom line is that we didn't choose transgenderism; transgenderism chose us, and all we are trying to do is live as "normal" a life as we can under the circumstances while continuously carrying this monkey on our backs. So cut us some slack, already, and enough of the "my way or the highway; choose me and the family or your crossdressing" type of bullying. As the ancient Chinese curse puts it: "Be careful what you wish for, you might just get it..."
Last edited by Leslie Langford; 02-23-2012 at 08:25 PM.
My answer, or evasive answer, or non answer would depend on who really was asking the question. Close friend gets a non answer because it is a personal family matter. relative gets an evasive answer because i would figure they were trying to stir up trouble.
The answer to my wife would be to sit down and discuss the reason for this question at this time. Is there something going on in her mind? Have I done something recently that calls into question the family commitment? Has she suddenly developed an aversion to my dressing? After a thorough discussion I would answer, and prepare to follow through on whatever answer was given. Just know that I love my family more than i love myself, but one would cost a lot more in therapy than the other.
Babes
He (she) who would learn to fly one day must first learn to stand and walk and run and climb and dance.
- Friedrich Nietzche -
I may never get to fly like the other girls, but I do so want to dance, so I continue to climb.
Which family? Because I hate my immediate family (dad and brother).
My wife has asked a similar question.
My answer, she is more important, but I can never quit CDing. Tried it for her several times, and failed. She knows it, but need reminding, I reckon.
DonnaT
The family wins hands down. But, I'm lucky in that the whole family knows and accepts with out question.
My family is the most important thing in my life. There is nothing more important. It’s as simple as that!
You should see my little grandson wow!!!!!!!!!!!
Wow, this is probably to date one of the best written responses that I have read on this forum. Very nice Leslie
I have a really hard time accepting someone's idea that wearing clothing, even typically designed for women clothing, gives anyone the right to make rules and such. When women started wearing men's boxers as shorts (amongst all the other clothing that was male but women wore regardless) did we gain that same right? No, we did not and I wouldn't want to anyways.
Flip Flops were made for Beaches & Bath Houses, We have neither in 2017. Lose the flip flops!
I'm a GG but not involved with a transgendered person, so take my opinion for what it's worth. But I think if I gave that kind of ultimatum, it would mean I felt threatened by the crossdressing behaviour as it related to our family.
If a grown man told me his self-expression was more important than the stability of relationships we had with our families, our friends and our kids, I'd be hurt. If his crossdressing threatened the job that put food on our table, I'd be livid. Those fears, whether well-founded or entirely baseless, are what would prompt a question like that.
The best answer is "family" and then an explanation of how crossdressing fits with the lifestyle and dreams you have together. Or if it doesn't fit at all, then at least how to minimize the impact. I agree with Leslie that it's about compromise.
The family. I love to crossdress, but I'd give it up for family, more specifically my girlfriend/wife
The original post was not about given a choice between family and friends. It simply asked the question of what's more important to you FAMILY or CDing if asked by a someone close to you such as a close friend or your SO. It was not written as an ultimatum from just a wife.If someone close to you,who really knew all about you, such as your SO or a close friend or relative asked you straight out: "What is more important to you, the CDing or the family?", how would you answer such a question?
Thank You Brandyj;
You are correct, except just below cross-dressing, goes Playing Hokey.
Rader
My family, for sure. As far as I know my kids do not know, they have never hinted in any way. I'm currently in a two-year dry spell according to my wife's wishes. She has been at many stages from slightly accepting to utterly against which is where she is now. I'm respecting her current mood but I hope there may be a bit of a thaw sometime soon.
Abby we've discussed some of this over coffee. Family comes first over anything. That said, I hope that if this is as important to me is that the family will be able to accept and we can come up with a compromise, just like I had with my wife.
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