I've been wondering why identity issues have had such urgency over the last year. Why now? Why not 10 or 20 years ago? A recent response in another thread from Bree perhaps hints at an answer:


Quote Originally Posted by Bree_K View Post
I didn't know I was transexual from a young age, but I did know a lot of other things.

I knew I didn't know how to be a boy. Being a boy didn't seem to fit right and I was ALWAYS studying other boys and mimicking how they would act. I hated this acting and would be alone as much as possible so I didn't have to pretend.

I crossdressed from a young age. I think with all the repression, it was the only outlet my inner-self could find.

I envied girls. I hated that they were able to be girls and I wasn't.

I knew I was hiding who I really was. I knew I would lose my friends if they found out.

I just didn't know WHAT I was hiding from until I got a reality check a couple years ago and had to face the facts.
What this triggered in me was the memory of envying girls, of hiding from my friends. I had totally forgotten what it felt like to look at girls like that, and it happened over decades from my earliest years. I STILL do it without consciously realizing it. How can you NOT remember something like that? That, plus other emerging, forgotten or suppressed memories makes me wonder if one starts having identity emergence problems at the point when you lose control of the memories, when, as a result, you can no longer actively track and channel your responses. In other words, when you lose control of your false front. I feel like a leaky vessel. Perversely, suppression may be the key to identity for some.

Just random thoughts.

Lea