[SIZE="2"]“I have no idea why I’m writing this...” (Anne2345)
I hear the phrase (or moniker) BAD BOY a lot these days, as in “Check out this bad boy,” or “Can you handle this bad boy?” or even, “You’re such a bad boy!” Yeah, it’s cool to be a bad boy, in fact bad boy is synonymous with “unusually cool,” in the lexicon of the 21st century. A bad boy is a person, often of the male gender, who does things which will often be thought of as acts of coolness. He is not afraid to stand out in a crowd, he is loud, he doesn’t care what anyone else thinks, and in fact he is a true individual. He is gorgeous (in a self-possessed way) and nothing less, especially if you’re “in” to this kind of superficial individuality...
A “bad boy” is also one who engages in deviant and obscene sexual acts within the general vicinity of public consciousness and awareness – he is both unable and unwilling to stop, mainly because it is “cool” to be engaged in such deviancy. A bad boy will SAY he is a bad boy to attract good girls – in this way, he is a typical male. OK, I must admit I am NOT a bad boy – never have been, never will be, never wanted to be. I never wished to be cool, but, if you think about it, being a MtF crossdresser is deviancy on a scale that makes the “bad boy” blush like a cherub. I may not engage in obscene acts at the periphery of public consciousness, but I am certainly doing my deviant best as I stroll forth in clothes I was not meant to wear. To society, I am BAD...
You never hear, “Check out THIS bad boy – he’s wearing a dress!” Yeah – I submit that I am way, WAY cooler than anyone who tries to be “bad” to attract girls, in fact I’m bad on a level that most adolescents (and adults alike) can only dream of. I did this from scratch and imagination, using a type of courage that most males dismiss. Speaking of “dismiss,” can I say that I BECAME the good girl I’m trying to attract? I mean, why not? Skip the middleman, and do something really cool, namely becoming a representation of a girl, if not the girl herself. I laugh when I hear the phrase “bad boy” trotted out like some badge of honor – I’m so unusually cool that I tucked the bad boy away, and, I need to tell you, I’m unwilling to stop! I am a TRUE individual...
Of course, very few would consider what I do to be “cool,” or “bad,” or even evidence of a strong display of individuality, but it would be considered deviant in the extreme, possibly evidence of obscene sexual practices, and thus thoroughly ACROSS the imaginary line of decency. That’s too bad, because I’m trying to be a good girl. I dress like one; therefore I am “good.” The clothes flip a switch in my brain, and I assume the mental position I have desired since birth. However, make no mistake; I am a boy, and not a good boy, either. I’ve done many bad things, and I don’t mean “cool” things meant to attract girls. My dressing represents a conscious effort to be a good girl, as a kind of queer doppelganger or reflection of a truer self. Nobody walks into the tool department at Home Depot, picks up a huge screwdriver and says, “Get a load of this GOOD GIRL!” and that is exactly why I strive to be good AND a girl...
Girls and goodness are not synonymous, but there is this notion of the “good girl.” I’ve met many bad girls in my time, and a few good girls. I’ve even met some truly interesting boys who were nonetheless good girls in boy’s clothing. The latter were TRULY interesting, not to be confused with “cool.” Theoretically, "a good girl always tries to look her best, always tries to be feminine, graceful, elegant and beautiful. She looks after her body; always attractive, pretty, or beautiful, and she does the best with what she has." Isn’t that what the MtF crossdresser does? A good girl also behaves like a sweet innocent girl, is smart but polite, and is “decently” sexy. In other words, she’s never been caught. I’ve never been caught, either, be it dressing, or caught during an “act” whilst dressed. I find it very amusing that, if I had been caught, my accusers would rather I be a bad boy than try to be a good girl. Oh, it can get very confusing, my gender-queer friends...
There’s a huge paradox at work here. In order to “become” a good girl, I have to employ all those qualities that distinction-makers use to describe BAD girls. In the latter case, a female may reject her femininity in a reckless manner, be self-possessed, rebellious, and not care what people may think about her “expression.” She, the bad girl, is also a critical thinker and artistic – need I point out that an artistic nature is, in itself, seen as a form of deviancy? The bad girl takes risks, putting some distance between what she really wants to be and what others WANTED her to be. I, a male who dresses in female clothing, am also taking a huge risk, eschewing my masculinity to entertain a new concept of self, borne on the wings of artistic endeavor. It is rebellious to the core, grafted to self-expression, somewhat reckless and deviant in the extreme. On the other hand, I DO care what others think, as long as the “others” are sympathetic and/or familiar with critical thinking (not outsiders, I mean). By contrast, a good girl aims to please, with plenty of repression and/or submission in the mix. I am on an emotional diet of sorts, using shyness as a shield against the world. My inherent nature brought me to this point, putting healthy self-expression to good use...
Good girls get a bad rap these days, but it can be a kind of façade, a psychological smokescreen that either keeps harm at bay, or keeps precious feelings within. Good girls may be imbued with certain...skills...that nonetheless ascribe to their need to please. This is the antithesis to the bad boy, who seeks pleasure and isn’t too choosy, or the bad girl, who may be the center of attention in her own self-created world. I’m neither, and the fact that I’m a good girl in appearance speaks volumes about how really I am, deep down inside, by tucking away masculinity and all vestiges of accepted anti-behavior. Perhaps this is why the world at large has such a problem with a boy who would wear a dress as a form of expression – he seeks to please himself, by letting what is within come out to play, and he sometimes “plays” the role of a good girl. Since good girls are suspect in terms of emotional growth because of their repressed personalities, I feel free to put on the discarded uniform of such individuals and literally wear my sexuality on my sleeve. As such, I am too deviant for words, and “badder” than any bad boy can imagine, in fact I’m downright sick...
I’ve read that good girls (and women) are attracted to bad boys. Maybe this helps to explain why everyone (GG’s especially) have such a problem with MtF crossdressers. Are you now, or have you ever been, a bad boy? More importantly, don’t you think MtF crossdressing is COOL?
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Originally Posted by Frédérique
