Appearances
"Everybody loves you, don't they? So don't let them down."
Going out has become routine now. I have found my look and my place. I am a crossdresser but others still don't know where to put me exactly into the spectrum. To the general public I could be anything (usually I am a drag queen to them). And to the "Family" I am something else. NB Family is how I think we should be, the whole TG community.
One thing I found that I "knew" for a long time and was told over and over again; your biggest asset is your smile. It is true. If you smile, people either like you or they scowl at you. Either way YOU win. Mostly, when I am out a smile gets a smile back. I have also found if you sit at the bar, more people do talk to you. Last night was no different.
(PS CGRA girls...lighten up kids, if you don't like dressing, don't do it. That makeup will only crack if you have overdone it.).
I also am learning I am losing my hearing. Maybe that is congenital because my dad can't hear well either but I thought his was from years of using power tools without protection. I hear well outside the clubs, I can still pick up heart murmurs that many miss. In the clubs...it is a garbled mess interspersed with a word here or there. This leads to the idea I am a good listener when people talk. I try and listen, so I have to watch lips and lean in. It makes me look like a good listener, so that is a good thing. But really if you asked me what you just said I may not have a clue. Did you say you were raised by kangaroos in Hollywood?
But on the other side of the coin when I have to listen carefully, what I hear you say does register better. I remember things and if they are a little outside...well I will check them out. Last night I met an All-American football player who was on a major college football team...except he wasn't on the rosters when I checked (Guys, expect whoever you are hitting on to check your story, and girls check that story). So one of the two things he told me was false. His name? Or his life. I will go with his life. But that's OK, he was nice and he was friendly and he was very handsome. He was just not hitting on the right person at the right time. Maybe next time.
In addition to the drag performers last night there were several other "girls" there. Here on these boards it is often said "I just want to blend in". And here we argue on what one should wear to blend in. Last night, two of the "family" were out trying to blend in. Dressed like they were going to a PTA meeting. I wanted to talk to them. I smiled and said "How are you" to both of them. They didn't respond in any manner. (I had on a black lined lace just above the knee skirt with a knit black top and black 4" pumps...I wasn't that scary I hope). I know when you are out and especially out alone, you are a little more defensive. And if either of you are reading this, smile, you will have a better time. Say "hi". And don't slump when you walk. If your purse weighs so much you have to lean forward and drop your shoulders, get rid of the extra stuff you don't need and get a smaller bag. I don't care if you did $49.99 for that fake Louis Vuitton, you could not swing it for defense if you wanted to. You don't have to be snooty but be proud, head up shoulders back. People talk about walking like a woman. One of the easiest ways to do that is to be confident. Stand up straight, chest out (you worked for that chest), head up. And when a "sister" says hi, say "hi" back. We are on the same team and we have each other's back. Have fun. Especially if there are other TG's around. This is supposed to be fun. Blending into the wall paper isn't what you want to do.
This week I went out twice. Two different situations. Both were fun. It is interesting how things can be so different even in the same context. Wednesday night was friends. The situation is totally different when you have a group around. I don't remember any of the other patrons in the venues. But the company was great and the conversations ...educational, let's say. That will be a topic for next time.
Originally Posted by Purple8229
