Great Expectations?

[Sharon]

I'm wondering about the standards we set for ourselves as far as our "passability" goes. What I mean is, are we realistic in our goals?

When I go out I invariably look at women and consciously compare my appearance with theirs: their face, their figure, and their whole aura (poise, style, facial expression, etc.). What I am beginning to realize, more and more, is that I look no less "feminine" than a good percentage of actual GG's, and I am, by far, no beauty.

What I am is an average looking person, not one to turn heads with Angelina Jolie beauty, but neither am I so horrible looking that I get pulled off the street by the beauty police and involuntarily spayed and neutered, a realization that is both liberating and, frankly, surprising to someone who has a natural tendency to be self-depreciating.

What I want to know is -- are you realistic about how well you can look if you really try? And are you realistic about how well you look in comparison with the average woman? Or are you only satisfied if you can look like a super-model?

[Faye Emmette]

I realise I'll never look like my idols but also, from when I first started stepping out, my fears of being stared at or harassed soon went. This I put down to the fact that I dress OK and people don't really stare anyway. Just another face in the crowd going about there business and if someone did notice I was built a little different, they would soon be on their way and thinking about other things.
Thanks for bringing the topic up Sharon.
XX
F.

[TGMarla]

Frankly, Sharon, you're probably right. I've really never gone out anywhere, most probably due to fear. There is also the little matter of my wife and the people I live with. But that aside, when we are "read" by the public, who is doing the reading? Women? They're always critical of other women. A "read" may be nothing more than another woman looking critically at you. A man? Hey, if you're no beauty, they're probably looking at you thinking, "Man, no way I'd do her...." Sorry. Men can be pigs.

I'm no movie star either. I simply do the best I can with what I have. No matter how long I stare at myself, I simply do not turn into Charlize Theron. It'll have to do.

[Billijo49504]

At 58 yrs old, my expectations are that my feet hit the floor each morning. Actually, I do try my best, with clothes, that will fit in. I also do the best I can with makeup, but the wrinkles and crows feet sometime need spackle. If I don't do a good job, my wife will tell me. I ask her to be honest.And sometimes she is too honest. I guess that says it all, I try to fit in, not stick out...BJ

[Ellaine]

Sharon Well I don't want to be Mrs Average, I want to be Cathryn Zeta Jones, or a young Ann Margaret, or even ex uk newsreader Selina Scott .
In my dreams! But untill I actual have that dream, I'll aspire to Mrs Average

I'm sure most women want to feel totally beautiful and to watch the opposite sex, fall doe eyed under her spell.

But being built wider at the top than bottom, and 6ft tall, will get you gawps whatever gender you are

Some of us are never satisfied. Does my bum look real in this?

Ellaine

[mand]

Hello Sharon I'm kinda a bit off the posting thing at the moment but I'll have a go

Hmmm "passable", well I've read many posts in which the author claims to be very "passable". I have met quite a few TG's, TS's, CD's and come to the conclusion that "passibility" is basiclly an "urban myth" .
There are very very few TG's who even come close to being "passable". The best that seems to be hoped for is to blend in without being to noticeable.

Do I pass, can I fool the world into believing I was born a genetic female ? ................. never in a million years. If I am able to go about my buissness without getting any hassel or ridicule then I am very happy..................that's about the best I can hope for.

I have to say though Sharon, there is a difference between being passable and being attractive, How many GG's have you seen that you can describe as unattractive and yet they are obviously GG's. On the other hand I have met some TG's who were without doubt male in their physical gender but they did have a certain attractive style and looks.

Maybe it's just me Sharon but I always have a little chuckle at the word "passable", I prefer to see it has "blending in" getting by without being noticed...........well not to much at least .


love mand xxx

[andreaboots]

I really don't know what to expect of me as a CD. I'm 50 now, and my CD'ing for some reason has become very important to me. My current aspiration(s) as far as CD'ing goes is that I would just like to pass as a female. I'm definitely no beauty queen and I don't think many of us are, but that is entirely OK! One of my idols, if we are to have them is Betty Page. I feel that she IS a beauty Goddess that didn't really live her full potential. Now I'm ramblin' again. I just would like to pass and be with my new CD girlfriends a few times both in and out! That's all!! Love all! XXX

[mand]

What I want to know is -- are you realistic about how well you can look if you really try? And are you realistic about how well you look in comparison with the average woman? Or are you only satisfied if you can look like a super-model?


Hello again Sharon in answer to the above I am very very doubtfull about my looks, if I could just look like "the girl next door" I would be very very very happy

love mand xxx

[JoAnnDallas]

I am in my late 50's, so wearing a mini or looking like Wonder Woman is out. I settle for not being noticed and being left alone, so I can enjoy my outing, shopping, or whatever I am doing dressed en fem.

[Maude]

i have a mirror
and the best i can do is:
looking like a guy dressed up in girl's clothes ?

however, i enjoy it and have fun !

[TGMarla]

Well, Mand, I know it's just an avatar and all, but from what I can see, I think you look very attractive. Passable? Well, if avatars here were the litmus test for passing, we'd all be out walking around with no worries...including you!

[mand]

Hello Marla Hmmmm avatars are one thing but I did try to be honest with this .................................. http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...ead.php?t=7067


Ouch honesty can be so painfull


love mand xxx

[Faye Emmette]

Yes Maud, you look fine and easily passable. For Mand, very attractive and no needs for doubts there either I'd say.
For me to leave the house, and scared the neighbours would see, I guess they just thought I was one of my girlfriends as they never said anything and it's been ten years now !! I only go out at night though.

[Jonien]

Having been watching a late night series on telly about ts's most of witch you would not normally say thy pass Even after facial surgery but having also watched with interest on make up and surprisingly there are a lot of GG's with male features but still look female,,, I feel like a lot of us would like to see our self as a young teenager and as I believe most of us have left that behind by a few years..

What I would say that to my mind that after facial surgery it takes a lot of other expression voice and mannerisms your femininity comes from the Aurora you radiate features are only a small part

like some days I can look in the mirror and with out makeup I see a girl then another time with all my skill with the cosmetics I cannot look the slightest femme


I have seen transsexual girls and thought that the cost of surgery should be spent on the face first but then surprisingly after SRS the same person will look 100% more female. now SRS to the outside world would not be seen so why did she look so diferent....


whoops I'm rambling again

[Nikki Dee]

I do the best I can with what I've got.!!!...I find that people just seem to take so little notice these days...and not every RG is a super model.!!!
love Nikki. x

[Nikki Dee]

Mand....I always find you don't I..??...Have you fallen out with me.??
Nikki...xx

[Richelle]

I am happy to look like an average 50+ women out shopping for new clothes

Richelle

[vicky V]

I am with Maude - - no way I can pass and I have never and will never try, but I certainly have fun at home with my little hobby, and of course every day in regards to what I wear under DRAB - always panties and some sort of female hosiery.

love,

vicky v

[mand]

Mand....I always find you don't I..??...Have you fallen out with me.??
Nikki...xx

Ay up mi duck

Hmmm Have I fallen out with you ?...................of course not love
I've got you're PM and I'll write soon, I've just popped on for a few min's now.................kinda in the middle of thing's love.

Best stop now I'm sorta taking the thread of subject

Lovely to hear from you Nikki .................love mand xxx

[Stephanie Brooks]

I go for presenting as a woman. That's it. I try to do the best with what I've got.

As a guy I'm on the light side of average for weight given my height. My wife is jealous that I have a flat tummy. While time has been good to me wrt my physical shape, you'd never mistake this body for that of a 20 year old guy. I am however shaped as a guy, no mistake there.

That said, as a girl I'm on the heavy side of average for weight given my height. Also, I have a heavy beard and mustache, large hands, long arms, broad shoulders, short legs, a modestly (or immodestly!) hairy chest, insufficient natural cleavage, waist rolls, big feet, and a deep voice. I also have a face that can be feminized (maybe that's a conceit, but I think it's true), decent legs, and feminine mannerisms. I cannot wear low cut, midriff items. I can wear dresses and skirts and blouses. I can wear skirts and dresses that are modestly slit; something mid-calf length can be split to my knees and - I think - look good on me. I can't dress as a 20 year old female fashion model, nor do I try. I dress to compliment my figure, much as it is. I want simply to pass.

Passing for me is a safety issue. I go out in public, and I want to move essentially unnoticed. I want to appear vital without being outlandish, fashionable witout being overtly sexy. That I probably appear a bit frumpy is fine with me. I can mostly pass as a female. When I talk, all hopes of passing vanish. That's mostly okay. I think I appear as a female. That's good enough.

[Tracy Lynn]

Other than dropping a few pounds I like the way I look. That is what I think is important. I wish I had the body to try some slimmer outfits but oh well....

[Wendy me]

look at most gg's ( no offence to any gg's here...your all georgus) by our stands as cds would not pass... ok you go out and look watch gg's they are all diffrent from drop head heart stopping beautys ( like our gg's here) to pretty girls and plane looking and some that won't pass as gg's ....ok what am i saying here ??? most cd's get way off track when dressing to "pass" see we all have our little flaws as do gg's ...and what do thay ?? some try to hide it and some could care less ....if you got something that is less than perfit and waite to be that 10 ... you may never get out ...if i get out and no one realy noticed me the way cool in my book thats a good time out ..better than read in a negitive way....a sticker that i saw says it all .... "are you willing to lower your standards to have a lot of fun???"..............

[Sarahgurl371]

We all put soooo much emphasis on passing. It has occurred to me that I never will. I too constanly look at GGs to (well cuz I like to look at em) study how I might better "fit in" if I ventured out. It occured to me that I never will poses the traits that I see in real women, that is, soft skin, small stature, slender neck, and shoulders. I am just not built that way. If I could change it I would. When I was a kid, I was upset that I didn't have armpit hair or couldn't grow a mustache when my buddies could, or that I wasn't a bigger man. Now I curse the same things, and my big hands, and get kinda evious of smaller men, thinking, if I was built like him, I could pass easier. Isn't that wierd?

Do any of you some times get discouraged because you feel that you never can be or look like, what you want to be, that is a GG? Or am I a little further down the TG spectrum? Sometimes this stuff is soooo confusing. I guess I could be happy with my looks if I could just go out and not be noticed. But have you met many GGs who are happy with thier looks?

[KatieZ]

I know that I will never pass and I don't have those expectations. I spend as much time as needed applying make up and the rest of it is attitude and presentaion. I dress my age according to where I am going and the time of day. I pay attention to my walk and other mannerisms. I still get read a lot but I don't let it bother me. For the most part I am just another woman and the ones that do read and judge me will just have to deal with it within themselves.


Hugs

[Shannon]

I use to think that "Passing" or "Not Passing" were my only 2 choices. As Wendy mentions, I started paying a lot of attention to women and men. There are a lot of attractive looking people out there -- and some not so attractive people.

Recently, I've been thinking more in terms of "Blending", or at least not creating a stir amongst my fellow earthlings. Then I started going out en femme -- just little small steps to the gas station and ATM and strolling around a bit.

Now, I think what best describes by expectation is to be "Comfortable and Confident". Yeah, because that makes the whole thing about me -- am I feeling comfortable and confident. It is something I have a bit more control over, than are others noticing me, am I "Passing" or "Blending" for them?

I feel that if I'm concerned about Passing or Blending, I'm defining my experience in terms of how others react, or don't react. It's like giving others control over my experience. Yes, other's may say something that could undermine my level of comfort and confidence, if I let what they say get to me. But what others think and feel about me is more about them and their expectations than it is about me.