Walmart at 2am, First time out

[Natalie_Danielle]

Reposting this since I messed up and posted it in the wrong forum and it got deleted. Oops!
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Well I finally did it.....I went out!!

I've been itching to finally get out, not sure why but I had to go somewhere as a woman and the need overcame the fear and out I went. I've been out to walk down the sidewalk at night and have taken a few drives, but never where I was in full light and interacting with people.

The evening started with me doing my nails. Did a simple gel nail that is easy to pop off. Then I painted them a nice purple. It was at this time I realized I didn't have any polish remover. Oops! Well now I had to go out. So I did my makeup and dressed. Simple top, jeans, and a pair of 4 inch ankle boots. The boots didn't help me blend in as I'm already 5' 10", but I ABSOLUTELY LOVE heels and I love these boots, so I wore them anyway. The boots were hidden by my jeans, but they have that unmistakable high heel boot click/tap that just screams "look over here."

By now it is after 12am and I drive to Walmart. I get there and there are a ton of people and a group of twenty somethings. I set in the car trying to talk myself into going in and after 20 minutes I drove off. Maybe another Walmart won't be so busy. Unfortunately it was closed. So I made up my mind that no matter what I'm going in and I drive back to the 24hr Walmart.

As I pass the entrance going to my parking spot I notice that it must be break time. There are a ton of people gathered around the doors. I'm not that brave yet, so I wait a bit until they go in. Thats my cue.....in I go.

As I got closer to the door the butterflys took off, fluttered a bit, then flew totally away. It was a great feeling to walk in the store as a woman.

I strolled around the girly stuff, makeup, shoes, and jewelry for a few minutes then went to check out. Yes I was going to TALK to another human. Now you must know my femm voice doesn't exist. At least in my opinion.

Now at the checkout I have an incident. There is a woman (walmart employee) standing at the far end of the checkout belt stacking some items. It looked to me like she was just cleaning up or messing with stock. So I step around her and walk up to the register and put my bottle of acetone on the belt. The cashier looks at me like I have 3 green horns coming out of my face. She looks to me then to the other worker several times. I know she has figured it out, and honestly I didn't care. I'm a woman (at least I feel like one) and I'm dressing how I want. Anyway....the one worker then blows up how she was there first and how I should have just asked. A tiny,mild rant and she tells the cashier "since SHE only has one thing just go ahead and check HER out". Even causing a minor incident, being called she/her felt great. My nerves were strung tight and I couldn't really say much throughout the whole thing. I paid then left and drove home.

All I can say is...I'm hooked.

Now I just have to work up the courage to go out during the day when lots of people are around. That may take a while. Plus I need to find my voice before having more interactions with people.

As I identify as a pre-transition TS and ultimately I want to transition, this only served to prove I could do it. Now more than ever I want to (I can't right now, but want to) get started with my transition.

[ArleneRaquel]

Best wishes Natalie, it's always good to be call she and/or her, even if your experience was not the best in that regard.

[RenneB]

Well congrats girl. I'm so proud of you. I know what it takes to get out and about. Currently I'm a daywalker, which as you stated is much 'harder' to overcome the willies. However, after a few times of 'doin it' the butterflies left me. That was about three months ago. Now I'm a regular daywalker. Dressin and blendin all over town. Okay, I don't blend totally as I willnot stoop to sweatpants, flip flops and a sweatshirt. I'm blending with the 10% or so of GGs that actually care what they look like. Still it's a lot of work to be able to look like you just threw this outfit and makeup on but it's a blast.

Went out again today and got gas and groceries. No issues. Just another 'ol lady' out doing errands.

Renne......

[ArleneRaquel]

Renne,
By the pictures that you have posted in no way are you an "ol lady".

[KimberlyJean]

[QUOTE=RenneB;2775859] Okay, I don't blend totally as I willnot stoop to sweatpants, flip flops and a sweatshirt. I'm blending with the 10% or so of GGs that actually care what they look like. Still it's a lot of work to be able to look like you just threw this outfit and makeup on but it's a blast.
QUOTE]

This is SO true, I was recently in Korea and all of the women dress nicely over there, I think I saw sweatpants once the whole year. The one thing I immediatly thought was I hope that doesn't catch on here and ruin this country too! I thought I dressed down to go out in jeans and a long sleeve shirt, turned out I was over dressed for a Saturday morning at the mall.

Natalie congratulations! It is amazing to be able to look at and touch what you want. I always feel self concious when I am looking through clothes in male mode. I caught myself a couple of time when I went shopping thinking I am a girl I can look through this rack or I can pick up and touch that dress.

[Eryn]

Glad that you had fun, but sorry about the evil look.

You should really try it at a more "normal" time of day. The wee hours aren't a good time to blend in! You'd probably have a better experience when there are more people around to divide the attention of onlookers.

[ArleneRaquel]

The last evil look that I received was at the checkout line at a Jewel Store, the lady bagger was the culprit and she was older than moi, or looked to be.

[GinaD]

Isn't it exciting to finally venture out!? I find it's the most intense and pleasing experience when I do it and others identify me as "she" or "her", even if they're just being polite. I think it was wise to be cautious around the youngsters. Never know what response you might get there. enjoy your new freedom!

[Vivian Chen]

That was a great story! Hope you get to wander out more! Stay safe though because bigotry still exist and will rear its head when you least expected.

[kimdl93]

Interesting experience. The incident with the cashiers illustrates how difficult it is to read minds. Your assumption was that they were bothered by your being a CDr, and really it was something altogether different.

My only suggestion for the future is to go out during regular business hours. I think you'll find that there's some security in numbers and IMHO its easier to blend into a crowd.

[Carol A]

I love going to Wal-Mart on a Sunday when church is letting out as women are dressed up and doing some quick pick me up stuff, you blend in real well and after 6 years only got one strange look but the checker didn't say a word other then "have a nice day".

[Natalie_Danielle]

Thanks for all the great comments. I'm already planning my next outing.
As for going out during the day, I'm thinking that is going to have to wait a bit or I'm going to do it somewhere there is nearly a zero chance of running into someone I know.
I guess that is my biggest fear. I really don't care so much that someone might figure out I'm a guy. However the thought of a co-worker or friend seeing me scares the &*$% out of me.
I figured that going out after midnight on a work day greatly reduced that risk.

Anyway, I think when I finally decide to go out in the daytime I might schedule a transformation makeover and go out after that. It may not be cheap, but I've wanted one and it seems like a good way to improve my chances of passing.

[SANDRA MICHELLE]

Walmart at 2:00 AM is a good start, not really all that busy and most people are there to get in and get out quickly. In my earlier days I used to go to Walmart in the middle of the night because it always seemed a safe time to go. Be careful since it breeds more secure feelings and you will eventually be going out in the dreaded daylight hours, one can only hope.

[Shananigans]

The is the first positive experience at Walmart that I think I have ever encountered...

Usually Walmart trips for me end in rants and tantrums. I can't think of a single Walmart trip where I did not declare that I "hated Walmart and am never going there again." But, I always do...they have EVERYTHING...

Before I would go about setting my mind on transitioning, I'd probably try to go out more dressed...maybe like full-time...and, at times that aren't at 2am...and, probably other places than Walmart. But, it's always good to have self-actualizing realizations and knowledge of the steps to get where you think you might want to be.

Also, if you happen to run into a girl in scrubs, ranting about how people put raw meat that they decide they do not want to pay for on the top of a check out line....it may very well be me. I'd just go ahead and pick another line because I will be ranting about it the entire wait.

[renaej7]

OMG! We share a very similar experience. IDK why, but I still find myself waiting in my car until I see what I perceive as the ghost being clear. Congrats! That is the first step. I have been out quite a few times and I still get those butterflies, but nothing bets the feeling once you finally do it.

[Natalie_Danielle]

Almost went out again this evening, but I was just too tired. Instead I went shopping online for makeup.

[ArleneRaquel]

Shopping for makeup is ALWAYS a good idea. Wearing makeup is even a better idea.

[Eryn]

The is the first positive experience at Walmart that I think I have ever encountered...

Usually Walmart trips for me end in rants and tantrums. I can't think of a single Walmart trip where I did not declare that I "hated Walmart and am never going there again." But, I always do...they have EVERYTHING...

I feel the same way. Unfortunately, they occasionally have something that I need and nobody else carries, like Nadinola cream or a stand-alone DVD recorder. Sad, but that's the way it is.

[Deborah]

Sorry to bring up an old thread but i just saw it.

...don't think that the Walmart employees don't talk about you in the back room after you're spotted. I hear it all the time.

[siennacd]

Congrats on going out.

[YorkshireRose]

Well done Natalie, that sounds nerve wracking, I have butterflies for you just thinking about it! Hopefully you can build on this positive experience hon, go girl.

[Momarie]

The way I read it was, the looks had to do with you inadvertenly cutting in line, not because you cd.

Walmart has ruined small town USA...very sad.

[mrortho]

Reposting this since I messed up and posted it in the wrong forum and it got deleted. Oops!
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Well I finally did it.....I went out!!

Simple top, jeans, and a pair of 4 inch ankle boots. The boots didn't help me blend in as I'm already 5' 10", but I ABSOLUTELY LOVE heels and I love these boots, so I wore them anyway. The boots were hidden by my jeans, but they have that unmistakable high heel boot click/tap that just screams "look over here."

CONGRATS!
WalMart in the early hours is a good place with lots of walking space to practice in heels and enough people to make it safer than walking outside.
You can change the hours to vary the amount of public audience also.

CLICK, CLICK 'ing in heels is lots of fun. I wear jeans too, but HEELS are a must!

[cyndigurl45]

I think a lot of us have done the 2am walmart thiggy

[Beth Mays]

Google this- the people of wal-mart ...
OH they talk and take pictures! http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/photos/