I'm usually the last one to throw a pity party - but I've been feeling rather down lately, and I need to vent about it.
I've been feeling downright ugly lately. A few weeks ago, my loving wife and I did some shopping, and we got some stuff I was really looking forward to wearing. Got it home and it didn't come close to fitting. I looked terrible and I felt even worse.
I've been struggling to lose weight in order to get into better shape (both health wise, and clothing wise) and the lbs are just not coming off at all. In the past, I've been able to shed weight rather quickly and keep it off for years at a time. This time, however, I can't seem to make any progress. I am on a medication that has the side effect of weight gain... I guess it is working!
I'm not tempted to purge (too much money invested) but I honestly don't feel like dressing. I feel trapped in my fat/ugly body. I see the pictures of you ladies that are absolutely stunning and I know that I can never get anywhere near that level - not even close. I am honestly glad you gals can (more power to ya!), but it's difficult for me when my exterior is so far away from what a part of me wants it to be. How can I express this feminine side of myself, when my exterior is 100% absolute male?
Alright, I'm done venting now. Thanks for listening.
-Retrofitme