Hearts on Sleeves & Waterworks

[LeaP]

I recently had an exchange that left me in tears - AGAIN. Cried myself to sleep, in fact. It occurred to me just how often this has been happening lately. I've probably sent out dozens of PMs in the last few months because of this. A lot of things have set me off. A point of commonality. A story. A comment on something I wrote. Someone writing of something I'm in the midst of. Fears I share. Everything and anything. A lot of you have had notes from me, often thanking you and apologizing at the same time.

In drab, I'm tightly-controlled. The reality is that I'm highly sensitive, maybe overly so, and let my feelings run more freely here. Even here (on the site, that is, not the TS section per se), however, there was a recent caution: "Don't wear your heart on your sleeve". I.e., the typical warning delivered to males not to let your emotions show.

Away from the male world, however, I realize I have no idea what a proper emotional balance is! How did you find it?

Lea

[Julia_in_Pa]

Lea,

Right now there really is no emotional balance for you and that's alright for now.
You have to learn not to listen to those that say do not wear your heart on your sleeve.
When you close yourself off to the world and deny yourself and others the opportunity to see and feel the true Lea nothing bad will enter and harm you.
On the other side of that coin is that no one will be able to enter your heart and soul including yourself in order to love and cherish who you truly are
This is why so many go through the motions of life without truly ever understanding and loving themselves or others.
Love yourself enough to wear your heart on your sleeve Lea.


Julia

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Love yourself enough to wear your heart on your sleeve Lea.

Julia

Wow........................................

[Jorja]

Lea,

Right now there really is no emotional balance for you and that's alright for now.
You have to learn not to listen to those that say do not wear your heart on your sleeve.
When you close yourself off to the world and deny yourself and others the opportunity to see and feel the true Lea nothing bad will enter and harm you.
On the other side of that coin is that no one will be able to enter your heart and soul including yourself in order to love and cherish who you truly are
This is why so many go through the motions of life without truly ever understanding and loving themselves or others.
Love yourself enough to wear your heart on your sleeve Lea.


Julia

You just can't say it any better than this.

[Jordie]

God bless Julia. You are an angel.

[Anne2345]

Even here (on the site, that is, not the TS section per se), however, there was a recent caution: "Don't wear your heart on your sleeve". I.e., the typical warning delivered to males not to let your emotions show.

When I first began to truly open up on this site, I was warned by certain members that I needed to develop a much thicker skin here if I was going to last. In the outside world, in my job, as the male I present myself to be, I have a thick skin. My skin is too thick, in fact. And I hate it. It is a defense mechanism, a farce, and an act. I play the game to survive, but of late, the game is beating me down bigtime, but I digress . . . .

When I am here, however, I believe I should not have to have thick skin, or hide my emotions. In this regard, I disagree wholeheartedly with those that advise otherwise. Instead, I come here to escape my reality, and to be, albeit temporarily, the person that I believe I am. I wear my emotions on my sleeve because I believe I can, and because I need to. Despite the occassional naysayers that we encounter here and there within the forum, this is a support group forum after all.

As such, I say let it all out to your heart's content. There are many kind, compassionate, and gentle folk here. As you are well aware, they can help, and often do. I cannot state it any better than Julia did, though. She really hit a home run with her response . . . .

But when you discover the key to "a proper emotional balance," please also let me in on the secret.

[kimdl93]

What is the point of a discussion group, in RL or on-line, if we must disquise our emotions to avoid being hurt. I will acknowledge that from time to time, individuals can say thoughtless, hurtful things. In this environment, we can't really demand accountability for such actions, so about all we can do is take hurtful comments with a grain of salt. But beyond that caveat, this community of ours demands emotional openness and honesty of us.

Finally, regarding emotional balance, its probably better to think of it as standing board, balancing on a ball, while riding on a roller coaster. Life is always in flux to some degree...and if we achieve balance...expect to lose and struggle again to regain it. We may be striving for or briefly attaining new balance point many times a day! The key to balance is between the ears...and the hips!

[LeaP]

Thank you for the responses. It's an interesting thing. The emotion is real, but there's a nagging guilt over "indulging" it (hence the apologies). That's easy enough to attribute to a lifetime of socialization, but triggered the wondering at where emotion properly belongs. After all, people (male OR female) don't go about weeping - or alternatively, laughing hysterically - without control either. Do they? I mean, really, I realized how little perspective I have on this other than 100% suppression is a "good thing" for the male role, or perhaps for my self-protection while acting as such. Because in my day-to-day life when I express some sadness, it's usually been pre-thought, calculated, and presented, and when it's real, it's shut down.

And yes, Julia does seem to have nailed it!

Lea