Almost Shopping Binged Last Night

[eternal-c]

The title pretty much explains it, but for some quick clarification:

Yes, I am very new here. My Intro Post is Here Which describes a little about myself as well as briefly what happened last night.

Basically though I have been meaning to cycle through some of my clothes that have just worn out over the years. The last few days though I definite have been feeling more like "Candice".

I sat in the driveway to FredMeyer last night for probably half an hour txting a friend that knows about my gender confusion. (For those not in Oregon, Fred Meyer is basically like a Target and a main chain Grocery all in one)

Well anyway, finally went into FM but I avoided the clothing area completely because I know if I had not done so... I very likely would have binged on clothes... both genders (And I don't even have any feminine clothing yet).

For me Avoidance has always been my fall back form of defense.. but is it the right one?

Ended up chatting with my friend until almost 3 am last night and she told me that the best thing I can probably do is not to try to force either side of myself, but to just let things come as they go...

... I'll stop there before this becomes a novel.

~~ C ~~

[eternal-c]

I know this is an off the wall question, but if I did dress more how I feel, How does the wheelchair play into fashion... I don't recall many GG's in wheelchairs wearing much other than pants and shirts except maybe for special occasions. Not really sure why, either.

Any advice would be welcome. Do I just keep avoiding things, to I go "all out" or get a couple things here or there? One of my "problems" or fears is that I would be recognized if I CD at all... One of my classmates from ELEMENTARY school recognized me not too long ago, and we were both in different cities. (He kinda had the advantage... most people recognize my mannerisms and the wheelchair :P )

[Babeba]

The thread of yours I noticed made me want to snoop, so I thought I would come answer this post's questions! I had a roomie once who would spend an appalling amount on clothes she never wore. I'm talking National Debt levels appalling. I'm talking borrowing rent money from her parents twice in one month appalling, because she spent the first batch of borrowed money on clothes before getting it to me so I could transfer it to our landlord appalling. Maybe because of living with someone like that, this TED video really appeals to me.

http://www.ted.com/talks/jessi_arrin...thing_new.html


As for fashion in a wheelchair, I remember noticing this one lady when I was an undergraduate who always had on the prettiest shirts, skirts, scarves and cardigans. If the skirt was complicated with patterns, the shirt/cardigan was fairly plain (mono colour) and vice versa. I never struck up a conversation, and probably she would have been one of those background people if she hadn't been both so pretty and in a wheelchair, but she was both well dressed and unusual in transportation so I noticed her a few times. I don't think I ever saw her in slacks, but she's where I got the idea of layering thick skirts for blanket-like warmth.

[Jacqueline Winona]

When I was in college, I remember a GG who dressed great and was in a chair, she wore the most beautiful skirts, dresses, had her hair and makeup done wonderfully. In every respect she was beautiful- she knew it too, so many of us didn't dare ask her out. That old fear of being shut down.
To answer your other question- I repeat the mantra "Stay out of the pink fog, stay out of the pink fog" every time I get near a clothing store (or even a Target). I really try to stay disciplined about what I spend, I just don't want to spend our family's money on just me. But this is a bit easier for me as I have a really cool friend (and fellow member here) who has helped me build a wardrobe, mostly due to her pure generosity. I won't name names but if she is reading this I hope she knows how great a friend she is.

[eternal-c]

Thank you both for your replies.

And now another question... I think I have a general idea, but what is "The pink fog"?

I wish one of my GG friends lived close by that knew Candice. I would love to go shopping with them, and I know they would help give me the confidence to find good outfits for Candice (Not to mention that if that was the intent, one of my friends is just crazy enough to make sure we wouldn't leave without at least one outfit).

Babeba: I have absolutely no problem getting clothes at thriftshops. Heck, that is how we did most of our clothes shopping until I was about 10 .. However, I can also make one pair of pants last 10+ years. The clothes I want to cycle out right now ARE over 10 years old (Mostly slacks. The shirts DO wear out faster... maybe 3-4 years)... Socks just seem to last forever. I still have some dressier style socks from Early Highschool that fit (When my feet aren't too swollen)

If I did go on a shopping spree though, I probably would be drawn to the skirts. Simplicity, functionality and beauty... all in one. One "advantage" of the wheelchair is that when I do go shopping with friends, if I follow them through a clothing section my arms often do brush up against any dresses, shirts or skirts that are against the isle. I would love a nice soft skirt... maybe not satin... especially for every-day style wear, but something that has a nice flow to it. Maybe one day I will build the courage and actually go buy something

Candice

[Jacqueline Winona]

I'll do my best to explain, Candice about the pink fog but this is not an expert opinion at all. As I understand it, it's when you just splurge on your femme side in every imaginable way. When you shop, you buy way more than you need because everything looks cute, when you're at home you ignore everything and indulge, dressing all the time, or thinking about dressing to the extent nothing else matters. When you're with your SO or friends, nothing satisfies you unless its your wants, needs, desires (all about dressing of course). You basically lose yourself, your family, your work ethic, etc. chasing your femme dreams.

[eternal-c]

Got it. Thank you for the concise description. The thing I have to remind myself is that IF Candice really is me (Or more correctly, the dominate part of me) then I would/should act as I would want Candice to be known.... How I want to be known. Everything has a balance and I can see as you describe it, that balance would be lost (at least temporarily). I could not truely be Candice either if I forgot Charles, because they define each other. But I would also hope that if I started to slip into the Pink Fog, that especially my two friends who know Candice would tell me and hold me true to myself.

Heck even talking with my grandpa today whom I have not talked with in almost a year, said he found and was sending me a copy of a home video from when they came to visit us in '92. I could hear the video playing the background as he was narrating it. "Oh, and here comes Charlie in his pink swim-shorts"... I will be very interested to see that, because I honestly do not remember, lol.

[Babeba]

Keeping in mind what you said about soft skirts, I would try looking at higher end consignment stores or in a boutique setting for skirts in wool suiting. Very soft, and much lighter than you might think with being wool.