I relate with the OP, I still have the guilt sometimes.
I relate with the OP, I still have the guilt sometimes.
xoxo,
Leah
"Man, I feel like a Woman!"
Back on topic:
this reminds me of "There's Something About Mary" and the pre-date discussion with his friend, about not wanting to "go out with a loaded gun" (or something like that, it's been a while). From that standpoint, it may not be a bad idea.
Just do a better job of washing your hands afterwards.
Silk and Steel
There are some surprisingly judgmental comments on this topic as if being a cross dresser involves just a very limited range of behaviours and feelings. From my own experience and from what I have gathered from many other crossdressers, early experiences with crossdressing often resulted in sexual arousal and culminated in masturbation. My introduction to sexuality from the age of about 5 was around the erotic experience from dressing in lingerie and feeling the softness on the skin while looking at the effect in a mirror. i probably spent a lot of time dressing in slips and half slips, corsets, bras, nightgowns etc. In the 1950's slips especially were a part of women's wardrobe and were beautifully designed with very fancy lace hems and busts and wearing them and looking at them in ads and in stores was a great erotic delight. As a teenager I dated girls and loved it when they wore lovely slips. It was all a part of the erotic experience. While I used to experiment with makeup and outer clothing a little, it was those wonderfully sensual slips etc. that would drive my sexual feelings. For many years I thought that I simply had a fetish for lingerie and it was only in later life that I began to dress more and buy wigs and skirts. I find that being dressed as a woman is a very comforting and calming experience for me but it is often a very erotic one also. Later in life I found that I was attracted to having sex with men but I had to be dressed in order to do it. I needed to be in the feminine role for it to feel right. Psychologists seem to have lots of theories about crossdressing and transexualism but as they don't see the entire spectrum; just those who are particularly troubled seem to dominate the examples of people that they treat, I doubt that we are anywhere near understanding the causes. Also, I have been intrigued by the way in which my cross dressing has evolved over time. Why? Also why is it that when I was in my teen years I never ever thought about sexual relationships with other males but, decades later I found it very erotic and fulfilling? It is all very confusing still. One hypothesis is that you create a feminine alter ego that is sexually arousing to you and so when dressed you find that masturbating is a form of sexual engagement with that alter ego.
So, for those of you who like to have a happy ending to your dressing, I say you are not alone by any means and don't feel badly about it. Transvestites cover a spectrum of behaviours, not one particular type.
The original posts takes me back to my younger days, and as you read this, you'll have a flashback too because we all have common denominators. In the younger days, after having a sexual encounter, I had no interests in sex at all - for about 20 minutes. Then I was ready to "play ball" again, my mind and body were ready for round 2. In the OP NCAmazon kinda identified with this as the 2nd experiment with masturbating while in the process of dressing and then pushing on to finish dressing and going out. The feelings that had her start the dressing session to start with returned though be it a little more mellow sexually.
To respond to CindyO's question regarding men doing this in girl mode the answer is yes. And men do it men mode yes. Its not cheating unless you go to your wife and say babe, you've been replaced by my right hand and theirs not room enough for the three of us. Masturbating is completely normal CindyO, I would suggest you give it a try, and if it helps, my wife thinks about George Clooney.
Ellie
you missed the point, masturbation is normal, no one is questioning that. The question is why would a man mastrubate when he is suppose to be acting womanly. Put in another way, would you mind or take offense if you were quite willing to have sex with your partner but she preferred to sneak off and masturbate while wearing mens clothing. Think about it? That is the question, not why masturbation, why when suppose to be emulating a women.....if there is a willing partner involved.
I can't believe no one has asked Cindyo the question yet... Are you willing to have sex with your SO while he is dressed?
While my wife is willing there are lots of those here who don't have that special person in their lives.
If you are a willing partner of a CD who would rather self gratify than be with you while dressed then I can also see your point
Cindy, I think that most of us here get it. I am not sure that you do. Most of us, including some GG's have stated here in this thread in response to your previous post here that men masturbate whether dressed in male or female mode. Yes, the female clothes may bring on certain tactile feelings that cause arousal and/or the whole idea of dressing as a woman with the tactile feeling is enough to arouse a man. Now, if my wife or girlfriend did that dressed as a woman or a man, I would not care as long as it was not exactly when we were both willing and able, and I preferably was not around. If either one does that when the other is interested and they both know that each other is interested, whether either of them is dressed as a woman or a man, then they both have problems and I can see your concern.
Now, am I missing something in your question? Am I not getting it?
my apology to the the initiator of this thread. Should have probably started one myself, no idea my coment would be off and running. Sorry we are off topic.
I've been curious about the same sort of thing.
I'm fine with anything someone wants to do in private or with another consenting adult. I can see how crossdressing can be very sexy. I think sharing that with a partner must be great. I also don't have an issue with masturbation in a relationship for the kinds of reasons Sandra-leigh mentioned.
The thing is, I expect masturbation within a relationship to be of the relaxing quickie variety, or a bit of porn surfing on an evening when I'm not around. Crossdressing takes time, money and a degree of committment that doesn't match up with what I understand as a simple natural urge for sexual release. I guess it's what Reine said about the femme side seeming like a mistress. I think crossdressing is sexy, but if someone's primary motivation is sexual, then it confuses me because I don't understand going through such lengths for a turn-on. A pair of panties is one thing, but wigs, forms, heels, a whole wardrobe… it doesn't add up.
The other part of it is going out. I find it kind of off-putting that people who dress primarily for thrills and sexual reasons (and not just to express a feminine side) would even leave the house. It's seems like it's involving non-consenting people into a kind of personal fantasy. (Exceptions for clubs or places where it would be acceptable, of course.)
I guess the NCAmazon's post interests me in that maybe it's that the sexual aspect is there, but seen as a hindrance in public? That would make more sense than the sometimes disturbing impression I've gotten otherwise.
No car, other things to do, physical porn is getting difficult to locate now... have to plan and make time to go at all. Then when I'm there, I have to look through the subcategories and see what kind of things interesting me that day, and then I would have to go through the various offerings within that category to find one that wasn't pure junk. Take it home, and store it in a good place until the time it is needed. That 15 minutes of frustration-relieving took an hour and a half of preparation. Faster to buy a skirt in a store I just happen to be near.Originally Posted by Flent
I suppose this depends on the reason why you dress... Is it to feel feminine or is it for sexual release. Im no stranger to feeling aroused, sometimes but definitely not at all most of the time, when dressed but personally it is a much better experience if I don't release, this just reminds me I'm male and in that mode that is the last thing i want to be reminded of x
Flent, please don't worry about CDing being the mistress. The going out part is the enhancement of excitement brought on by risk - adrenaline. CDer's are to my knowledge the most faithful of men. We are, however, driven by our sexual hormones just as you are every month by yours. In our case it gets channeled quickly if we put on that whatever beautiful thing. Trust me when I say we really don't have much control over it - particularly when we're still young. It's not something to be jealous of - he is yours alone. I'd bet on it.
The really great news is that as CDer's age we become much less driven by those hormones and become much more in tune with our relationships. Personally speaking, my wife and I have the best s#x we've ever had now that I do not focus on release and just be in the present with her for how ever long we want. Our mutual feeling, caring, empathy, nurturing and just pure love takes over.
Don't know if that helps or is even close to topic. Apologies if not.
There can be more than one thing going on when you crossdress, and though it seems like a contradiction, it's really not.
A heterosexual male brought up with the imagery of modern society is prone to being turned on by sexy lingerie, the curve of a bosom etc. As a teen, when hormones are raging, these feelings and the inevitable consequence are intense. If, for whatever reason, this coincides with a desire to CD (and taking the opportunity to do so), then it makes a strong mental connection. This is the start of the classic fetish CD. Fetish by definition is the need for some specific additional feature in order to become aroused, though it is often used with a slightly looser meaning.
Now what if the cause of the desire to CD was not actually the sexual aspect at all. Gender roles can be quite restrictive depending on the community in which you are brought up. It's by no means one sided (oh, don't we guys have it tough?) but there are pressures on males to be physically and mentally tough, and repress gentler emotions. The degree to which this affects your actions should you find that you're not a neat fit with the stereotype vary too.
Do you enjoy watching chick-flicks? Do you feel able to say to your mates that you enjoy chick-flicks? Do you feel able to say to yourself that you enjoy chick-flicks? Why is it not OK for me to be pampered? Why can't I get dolled up and pretty too? Cross-dressing is a way of giving yourself permission to experience some of the things that females have by rights. The most obvious (duh!) is the clothing itself, it's pretty, it's tactile, and it represents femaleness. It flicks a switch in the mind that then gives you permission. It removes the barriers that you have placed there with the guiding hand of society to define what you should or shouldn't feel, enjoy, or participate in.
It may not be femininity, or how a female would actually feel, because you still have a male brain (assuming you're not TS) and male hormones (after all it's not entirely society's doing), but nevertheless it has a powerful effect.
So in conclusion, let your male self enjoy the release, then give your whole self permission to enjoy being you.
OK, off topic I go!
This is all your fault, Flent! I was trying to stay on topic!
First off, masterbation. I've never gotten off on pictures. Not when I was a teen, and not now. Sometimes I can visualize pics and begin a mental journey that results in release, as it's called here. I've ALWAYS gotten excited by the company of attractive females, tho!
My solitary orgasms in drab don't approach the intensity of those that I have while watching Sherry in the mirror! And, as Reine said, I think it would be VERY inappropriate of me to be having that kind of sex if a had an SO. Which I don't! Because I fear I AM getting hooked on Sherry!
I've read that some get sexually excited or an adrenaline rush from going out dressed. For me, going out is like getting a bucket of cold water dumped on me!I've spent nearly a week dressed at CD conventions with NEVER a thot of sex the entire time there!
And, finally, Consuela. I'm over 60 and don't EVER recall a date wearing a "slip"! Maybe that's just in Cal., tho.
Last edited by docrobbysherry; 03-19-2012 at 08:33 PM.
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
Up until about 2 years ago, I was a fetish crossdresser. I used dressing primarily to get off. I would wear the clothes, do my thing, and then would immediately lose my desire to be dressed, and would want to get out of the female attire, and back in to my drab clothes. On that particular day, I did the usual, but then I did not lose my desire to keep my female clothing on, and wore it most of the afternoon. During that time I experienced a similar euphoria to what the OP was describing. I had never felt this way before, and I really liked it.
I also have to explain that up until that point, I had strictly dressed in underwear of some type - corsets, panties, garter belt, stockings etc. I had never been interested in getting any outer wear (dresses, skirts, blouses - even shoes) After that, I then started having the desire to get clothing of that type, and found that after I did and dressed fully.....I no longer had the desire to 'get off' while wearing girly stuff, but continued to have that very satisfied feeling - which I had never experienced before. Since then, I probably dress more than I ever used to. For me, it was rather like an 'awakening' or a 'revelation' or something.
"Taking the time to be in touch with my feminine side"
Replace "crossdressing" with ANY fetish.
What's wrong with solo release? If you're in a relationship and expect your partner to only get off when they're with you, you have some jealousy and control issues. As for getting off from a fetish... It's a friggin fetish... And most CDers, I would think, are afraid of rejection from sharing this with their significant others. I'm not a fan of lying to your partner (my bf and I have no secrets)... but hearing so many stories of how a crossdresser's partner is horribly disgusted by the very idea of crossdressing, is it any wonder that CDers keep it a secret? Have you been a man? Probably not... so you wouldn't understand that getting off for a man is a physical, instinctual thing... and is nothing compared to the intimacy and sensuality shared between a couple.
For the record, I'm not a crossdresser and I am in a very healthy relationship.
Last edited by Bree-asaurus; 03-19-2012 at 09:34 PM.
@Piora- You know exactly what I'm talkinb about. On the same page.
Bree_K- Fetish by definition as mentioned means it must be there for someone to get off. If someone can get off by crossdressing in addition to many other things its not a fetish. Fetish has a bad connotation.
A fetish is not required for one to get off. What if you have multiple fetishes? You have to partake in all of them to get off? I don't think so.
I have a bondage fetish... I don't need to be tied up to get off.
It only has a bad connotation if that is what you believe.
Bree_K saidThere's a difference between what gets you off or aroused vs. self-identity.Replace "crossdressing" with ANY fetish.
Some CD'ers don't get that.....sorry if I offend here.
I don't think I can ever have a release when in guy mode anymore...Before I started dressing masturbation was more of a burden than a pleasure.I still have a low libido and can go weeks without it, and even I found the action kind of in congruent, the act of self pleasuring while enfeme is the only way I can feel connected with my body and feelings otherwise is just and empty action
As much as I hate to continue this thread, the question asked by Cindyo is EXACTLY the reason why I expressed my frustration with this post in the first place. Women are confused by crossdressing enough. Now, throw in a topic that most women just don't want to hear about and "crossdressers" are even more off-putting.
Cindyo, it is a male thing. It is also a fetish thing, it is NOT a crossdressing thing.
I totally understand that. People crossdress for a variety of different reasons. I was just referring to those who get off because of their crossdressing.
There are plenty of crossdressers that do it for other reasons, including expressing their inner self or their feminine side.
I wanna drive a car called a "Fetish"...NC, there are many forms of 'fetish', some having NO sexual connotation whatsoever.
[...]
* Venturi Fétish, a car produced by Venturi Automobiles.
[...]
Tamara, may I say my hat is off to you my dear Lady for your post in this thread...ReineD, you know I love you, as your post are always spot on and your post here is another good example.
Interesting. The definition I read was from Psychology today, maybe that magazine doesn't have all the details. Fetish it is.NC, there are many forms of 'fetish', some having NO sexual connotation whatsoever.
* Fetishism, the attribution of religious or mystical qualities to inanimate objects
* Sexual fetishism, sexual attraction to objects, body parts, or situations not conventionally viewed as being sexual in nature.
* Fetish (album) (1999), by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts
* Commodity fetishism, a Marxist concept of valuation in capitalist markets
* Growth Fetish, the pursuit of economic growth in politics and economic theory as a universal cure for all society's problems
* Fetish fashion, clothing fetishes
* Zuni fetishes, small carvings from various stones, made by the Zuni Indians
* Venturi Fétish, a car produced by Venturi Automobiles.
* Fetish, a fictional superheroine in the Bomb Queen series.
i agree that we are all different,and dressing,the more i learn,has as many stages and changes as does adolesence.i think we are all dicovering and nurturing another side of ourselves in different levels of maturity as the "new charactor".Alot of what i read describes these stages,but just like adolesence we are all going to go through different stages at different times,rates,and ending at different places.I was in the same stage of getting dressed,masturbating and being ashamed for a long time untill i met someone who supported me.now ive "moved levels"? i now worry about my outfit and makeup and hair and such to the point that sexual release isnt at the forefront of my endevors anymore.As far as degrading to women,well,i feel like i emulate women.I find myself jealous of their ability to express themselves through clothing and accesories,the ability to be surrounded by soft things that are pretty and soothing to touch...and the fragrances!There are a LOT of feminine atributes that men in our society arent able to openly enjoy,and it is arousing when we can.
Kimmie
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