Ever get tired of all the negativity towards us TG people?

[Marleena]

I'm usually very upbeat about being a TG girl, in fact I enjoy being one. I do however get tired of all the negativity towards it from the general public. What makes it even more maddening is when TG people on this very board jump on the band wagon to try and make us feel bad about who we are.

Maybe I just read too much.

[Alice Torn]

Marleena, Yes.... and the beat goes on. It is the one thing, still not tolerated or accepted much. But, there was a time, when i was a bit of a red neck, and if i saw a cd, tg, i would reel, in shock, or surprise. It sure happened to me, my first few times out! Most folks are just taken off guard, shocked, to read one of us. Many sad truths in life, just one more. But, there are good signs sometimes, when people treat us like anyone else, or quite good.

[ArleneRaquel]

I try to avoid negative articles about the LGBT community, because most are so wrong and have a false impression of the community. Maybe I should respond more to negative writings, but I feel that it would just fall on dead ears and dead brains. If my two homophobic neighbors are any example they seem to enjoy their no nothing attitude. But I have run into so many friendly people, in fact most people that I encounter while dressed enfemme are uber nice.

[NathalieX66]

Other than the newspaper articles or online news of the experiences of others' bad experiences, please do share your personal experiences being out & about.

I've been out & about in public since January 2010, my first experience being in a hotel lobby near a US military base where many soldiers were present, and I was never treated rudely at all. In fact, quite pleasantly.

I was at a shopping mall decked out en femme last weekend, though my outfit was womens' jeans, ballet flats, halter top, cardigan, scarf , eyeshadow, mascara, blush, lip gloss, earrings, and I fit in with any other woman (yeah....no dress or skirt, I know). In fact, I was shopping with another member of this board, Abigail , and we went to a restaurant called Bahama Breeze, ate and drank some pretty stiff cocktails. The waiter treated us like queens.
Discrimination? What's that?

[Lorileah]

I missed the negative part I guess. Other than the usual cliques and personality differences I find that most people are really positive about my Tgism. Especially other TG's

[CynthiaD]

I can stand the negativity from the general public. I get a lot of that for many different reasons that have nothing to do with being TG. What I hate is when I see the same sort of negativity expressed here. This is asupport forum, after all, not yet another place to get dragged down.

CK

[Marleena]

Being newly accepting of myself I don't have much experience with being in the public eye yet. I will be able to respond to that better by the end of April. I'm not going to let the fear of what others think of me stop me from moving ahead. Nice to see that some of you don't notice or experience the negativity.

[AllieSF]

I have similar experiences as Nathalie and Lorileah have. I honestly do not experience any negativity when out. I have the total opposite experience with positive feedback always. But then I have a very positive outlook on most things and the negative stuff has to be proved to me, which in our LGBT case it hasn't been. I am also very extroverted and search out opportunities to meet and talk with complete strangers. If they had negative feelings they never have shown it to me. Maybe they do when I walk away. I don't know and don't care, which is a highly recommended attitude for those that want to go out. I do get tired of some of the negativity occasionally shown on this site. But then this is a forum made up of all types of people using the written word to communicate without any chance to talk face to face. So, something written in a certain way, when the moon is full and I have just had a bad hair day, may cause me to over react when it would normally never get to me.

PS: Marleena, I just read your post above. I think that you will see that the more you go out, the better it gets and the more your confidence will increase while your impression that the outside world is so negative will change to the positive. Things can happen out there, but it is definitely not as bad as you may now think that it is. Also, remember that one bad experience does not mean that your are correct in your thinking that the world is bad. It just means that it was your turn that day. Good luck and happy outings. They sure can be a lot of fun. Come out here and I will show you.

[Bree-asaurus]

Like Allie and a few others have posted, I haven't had any negative experiences while out. And I'm out all the time... I live this because I'm transexual.

Maybe it has something to do with my confidence (or feigned confidence). I act like nothing is wrong, like I belong there, and if anyone has a word to say about it, they can tell it to my boot.

But as far as all the articles, news and stories of horrible things happening to gays, crossdressers and transexuals... I hate hearing them. I avoid them at all costs. Even being transexual, I won't go to the Transexual Day of Remembrance because it's just too #$%@ depressing. I don't want to hear about that stuff... I want to live my life with the thought I deserve it just as much as anyone else... and I can HAVE it.

[JessHaust]

I have to lend a 3rd voice to Natalie and Lorileah. I have never experienced anything negative, quite the contrary. Every time I have been out, I have been treated like a celebrity, and I have been out dozens of times, to all kind of places. I heard on this site about negative treatment, but only as hearsay, never anyone who has actually experienced it themselves.

[PretzelGirl]

Do you hear an echo...echo...echo. No problems here. I have seen a few point and heard a couple of giggles. No Biggie. I think that an outing can be better or worse depending on your outlook as Bree alludes to. If you are in good spirits, you aren't noticing the 15 year old girl 5 clothes racks away snickering. But if you go out nervous and expecting it, then every smile is someone outing you, every laugh is a joke about you. The world is a good place and people smile and laugh about a lot of things. Don't internalize it all.

[Piora]

I detest criticism of any group that's based on ridicule and stereotyping. Why do people have to yell out or draw attention to people who are different? Why not be understanding enough, and compassionate enough to just keep walking. Or to treat the person who is visibly "different" in the same way they would any other person?

This might seem somewhat unrelated at first..... but when I was very young, I was exposed on occasion to some seriously disfigured and tragically deformed, wheelchair-bound individuals when I would visit a hospital where an aunt was in long-term care. I would see these poor souls in the hospital corridors. Some of them would speak to me as I walked around the hospital, and despite being somewhat frightened by them, I spoke to them in the same way that I would speak to anyone else who wasn't that way. I visited the hospital every Sunday with my parents, and I easily learned that these were people who just wanted to be treated normally, and not different than others.

It's the same with any of us who are 'different' in some way. Whether CD, TS, gay or lesbian - why can't people just treat everyone the same, and not leap to point at others with glee, criticizing them with shouts of "Are you queer?" or "That's a man!" Sure, recognize that there IS a difference......but we're all human beings. Just because we don't fit in with preconceived ideas of 'normal' doesn't give the media and people in general the right to judge, and to point fingers and criticize.

Live and let live.

[Bree-asaurus]

You're preaching to the choir Piora

[SuzanneBender]

I also haven't ran into any significant issues while out an about. I hate the racist and bigoted articles and silly parodies of us in the media, but lately I have seen some really well done pieces concerning the TG community. I also have a different take on the bigotry. Much of it is based in religion and I belong to several Christian forums. I really enjoy engaging the intolerant on their own turf and what I have found is when I make faith based arguments for who we are others on the forums begin to defend my position. The world is full of lots of wonderful people. You just have to look past the few bad ones to find the good ones.

[AllieSF]

Good advice Suzanne. I would lose my cool with the religious right, and I am Catholic by upbringing. Good work.

[Miranda-E]

There doesn't seem to be a lot of negativity in the general public.
Some members of the TG community can be their own worst enemy, either by embarrassing themselves publicy through their own actions or breeding fear to justify their own choices.

[Piora]

You're preaching to the choir

Yeah, I guess. Maybe I'm thinking of some of those guests reading the posts in this forum (they're not all CD guests), and I'm preaching to them.

[whowhatwhen]

I feed on negativity, so, wait this was a pointless post.
I do hope however I would loudly make a scene if someone was being a bigoted prick.

[Eryn]

95+% of the population doesn't even know what TG means. Prompt them in a leading fashion and you might get a negative opinion out of them, but unprompted they don't even think about us. Put them into an impromptu situation with us and they're usually react civilly even if they manage to figure out that we're TG.

[Katesback]

I did want to take a minnute here and point out something kind of interesting.

If you look up Tri Ess which is probably the largest CD organization out there you will see that they do NOT accept anyone but hetrosexual CDs and thier SOs. That means if your CD and you say your going to take hormones or want to transition, or gay, its goodby no longer accepted. If your TS and not a SO your likewise not accepted.

Now something seems kind of funny about a group of people that bitch about acceptance and then discriminates. Or am I crazy.

What is even more interesting to watch is if you go to a event where the CDs are present with thier SOs and a TS approaches the group you will see fear, annoyance, and in most cases the CDs will do ANYTHING to get the TS girl away!!! Take the same CDs without the SOs present and its total acceptance and all too often far more than acceptance of the TS.

I am just pointing out observations I mean I have seen it a lot of times.

So a recap it is interesting to note that the CDs that lament about acceptance and discrimination, have this large organization out there and they do not accept anyone but hetro CDs.

Things that make you go hmmmmmm.

Support comes in many forms, often here its seen as a fluffy rainbow tell me I am doing great, pat me on the back and make me feel good even if I am doing a terrible jog sort of support. Support also comes in the form of hearing things you dont want to hear but its the truth and sometimes the truth hurts and effects change. In this case I might suggest the CDs clean thier own house before they complain about others houses. Hope you get the point.

Katie

Yeah, I guess. Maybe I'm thinking of some of those guests reading the posts in this forum (they're not all CD guests), and I'm preaching to them.

[Miranda-E]

If you look up Tri Ess which is probably the largest CD organization out there you will see that they do NOT accept anyone but hetrosexual CDs and thier SOs. That means if your CD and you say your going to take hormones or want to transition, or gay, its goodby no longer accepted. If your TS and not a SO your likewise not accepted.

Now something seems kind of funny about a group of people that bitch about acceptance and then discriminates. Or am I crazy.

No you're not crazy, Tri-ees is bigoted and deplorable.
A lot of local chapters claim they aren't like that when directly asked, but they are still under and supporting the homophobic anti-trans mission statement.

[whowhatwhen]

*vroom vroom*
Heeere we go

Edit:
I'm going to forever live in the closet out of spite, not for anyone in peticular but just in general.

[Katesback]

LOL yes they arent discriminatory sometimes..........like when the wives arent present.

No you're not crazy, Tri-ees is bigoted and deplorable.
A lot of local chapters claim they aren't like that when directly asked, but they are still under and supporting the homophobic anti-trans mission statement.

[Marleena]

It is sad when TG help groups have certain criteria that has to be met. I've heard some complaints from members here that it definitely does occur. It can be the shunning of SO's too or certain TG statuses within the umbrella group.

[ReineD]

What makes it even more maddening is when TG people on this very board jump on the band wagon to try and make us feel bad about who we are.

Maybe I just read too much.

Marleena, I hope you take this the right way, but maybe you just need to step back from the forum for a few days. I've felt that way many times in the past ... sort of a burnout I guess.

It's a large forum with a wide variety of people, some saner than others, some more tactful than others, some with stronger abilities to see beyond their own circumstances than others. I don't think most people here try to put others down, even though some of the posts read that way.

EDIT

Being newly accepting of myself I don't have much experience with being in the public eye yet. I will be able to respond to that better by the end of April.

There you go! You need to put some eggs in different baskets. Try to focus on going out and you'll see that you won't be affected so much by some of the people here who look at things differently than you do.