I have read many threads lately with a theme of DADT and the argument that it is ok or not ok, etc. But what does DADT means. Here is my thesis:
1) you can't be in a DADT relationship unless you have discussed this with your SO and came to agree on such.
2) Without discussion, you are in a DT&HYC (don't tell and hide your crap), relationship. Basically, regressing to your pre-coming out days and you ARE hiding.
3) if you are in 2, and this is where I think most DADT people are, you don't know what your SO thinks. Maybe she thinks you grew out of it...
4) if you did 1, actually discussed and agreed, does that mean just talking about it? What about seeing your clothes? Finding any trace of crossdressing? Knowing you are on this forum? What exactly? Do you have a list?
5) DADT never works. Now, while I agree with Silent Partner's comment,"For some wives its more comfortable and easier to bury their head in the sand and pretend a situation doesnt exist than have to face up to it and deal with the consequences." But because there is no list detailing the violation of DADT, the curtain is opened as some point and the Wizzard of Oz is exposed.
So to those who think they are in DADT relationship, do you fear her finding your clothes, pictures, web pages? If yes, why? I mean, she "knows" so why worry? I guess the point of my long diatribe here is, unless you talk and know the rules, you will be forever hiding and fearing discovery. Not a great place to be.
Comments?