[SIZE="2"]Geez, I hope so!
The title seems to be the question these days, and, to be honest, I don’t know whether to laugh or cry! Let’s start with laughter. Whenever I hear some man on TV ask “Are you half the man you used to be?” I usually say (aloud) “Yes, thank you, and I’m damned pleased about it!” Being a MtF crossdresser for many years, and an enthusiastic pre-adolescent lurker before that, I am most assuredly HALF a man. I hover right around the 50% mark, so my glass is either half full or half empty, for all those proponents of masculinity who worry about these ridiculous things. But, I’m pleased to say my glass is ALWAYS full, consisting of a very strong blended gender cocktail with a twist. I’ve always been like this, so I could say without fear of recrimination that I have always been half the man I supposedly am – it just took me a while to express that fact via the clothing I choose to wear, and the appearance I maintain (at cost)...
Of course “half the man you used to be” refers to decreased sexual virility, lost enthusiasm, or a general absence from the GAME you’re supposed to be winning. Can I sit this one out? This is not about issues of male potency; this is about a lack of recognition (or tolerance) for anything even remotely connected to effeminacy. I think most “normal” males would be appalled to know that some males actively seek to be...well...less male. It’s a calling of sorts, and not a problem earmarked for correction, but this insistence on keeping one’s masculinity at 100% plays like an annoying, obnoxious rhythm track that I can't dance to. The fact that males are always being bombarded with reminders to be as masculine as possible makes me feel alternately uneasy and determined at the same time. The more they insist on me adhering to a “healthy” model of male-ness, the more I will do my level best to be an iconoclast, a non-conformist, and a prime example of effeminacy...
Just once, I’d like to see a TV commercial where a man appears on the screen, dressed nicely in stylish (colorful!) male garb and says this: “Would you like to BE half the man you are now? Would you like to see what else life has to offer? Would you like to break out of the boundaries of your prescribed gender and really start LIVING? Then call this number and get a free sample of new, fully-tested Transvesterone!” Yeah, you’ll never see that commercial, as long as the males, their peers, and other societal watchdogs hold sway. I guess there’s WAY too much at stake to accelerate evolution NOW by bringing the sexes closer together – that’s the message I’m hearing, loud and clear, while I continue along my own personal path of discovery. Too bad. Meanwhile, the same people who INSIST men must be men at all times also say this:
“Hang on to your dream – with both hands!”
“Until your knuckles are white” they usually add, for extra emphasis. I assume that THEY (the voices that speak for us all) will not be receptive to a man’s (or boy’s) dream if it involves reducing one’s masculinity by 50%, correct? But, that is MY dream, to be less masculine, more feminine, and show this transformation to the world at every opportunity. I achieved my dream. It was a goal, I did it, and I’m hanging on to it with both hands. Therefore, you would think that my resolve, my tenacity, and, yes, my determination would be a beacon of hope for all of us who dare to challenge the status quo along gender lines. But, NO! I’m branded “queer,” summarily tossed into the barrel of the unwanted, and then pushed out of sight and out of mind, hopefully forever. All this for hanging onto my dream, something they tell little children to do...
Your dreams must fall within the rigid boundaries of your sex, or they are invalid – THAT is what they’re telling us. It’s not enough to dream, you have to dream other peoples’ dreams! How can I possibly hang on to someone else’s fond hope(s)? Huh? Really? Don’t they encourage you to “be yourself?” I guess you can be yourself, as long as you don’t go too far beyond the limits that have been laid out for your benefit, and everyone else’s benefit as well. This officially sanctioned duality works against much-needed understanding of the individual, and the desires that a true individual seeks to consummate. I see this all the time – people are encouraged to “follow” their dream, unless that dream is declared to be deviant, perverted, or not in the best interests of the public. In the case of the MtF crossdresser, how can anyone fully appreciate, or even understand, this compulsion a male feels to DO something about being “trapped” as a male? No, if you’re feeling LESS masculine, you really need to do something about it, pronto! Sorry, mister – I don’t have a problem. Can I please put my panties on now?
The “man” I used to be is long gone, good bye, good luck, and good riddance. I worked hard to distance myself from HIM, enhancing effeminate characteristics I already possessed and folding them into the “mix” that became ME. It was tough going, but I made a breakthrough that I can ill afford to turn my back on – doing so would be tantamount to self-destruction. With this in mind, I scoff at this incessant “Be the man you used to be” rhetoric that proliferates unchecked. When a feeling to the contrary is proposed by us, the minority, it is angrily denounced by the majority, and that includes both sexes. I know what’s going on – dreams are for dreamers, and two hands won’t be enough to hang on to them. You may wish to consider lamination, welding, crazy glue, or a different planet altogether. My dreams do not jibe with the conformists – not now, not ever, making it VERY tough for a man, a male, or a boy to be anything less than what he is expected to be...
Are you (the MtF crossdresser) half the man you used to be? Right now, I’m about 53% male, 47% female, but “fairer” weather is expected later this week...
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Originally Posted by BRANDYJ
