I think I have too many questions about crossdressing to actually be fully content and happy about it, but that hasn't really been enough of a reason for me to ever purge or stop. Instead, I have slowly purged all my male clothing over the last ten years.
I don't want to ruffle any feathers or troll, and I have looked for a sticky thread on this. I do understand that for many this is the elephant in the room and that discussing it generally causes mayhem, but one of the main reasons I came here was for answers, and many of my questions tend to cast me as a denier.
Crossdressing has changed the way I live my life at times, and I still live my life 99% closeted, while wearing only female clothing, and admitting little to almost everyone who knows me. It is the best compromise I can come up with, leaving myself as the only person I really have to answer to. I realize the compulsion, and don't see why being "normal" isn't a more easy choice. I also believe it is really a choice in the end, as much as some may insist that isn't true. I have no problem toning it down when I really have to, I just don't like to. To me, that still leaves me making a choice, or perhaps just clinging to a hope that I have one.
For me, there are enough things that happened to me as a child to make me think crossdressing could be some sort of programmed behavior which resulted from playing doctor and dress up games with girls when I was very young, but it also started for me at a young enough age for me to understand it can be a genetic trait, along with my fascination in everything which is girly.
How does this all happen to us? Is the "gay gene" the same as the "crossdressing gene"?
I don't understand this genetic thing at all, somebody's got some splainin' to do before it genuinely makes sense to me! Is crossdressing an extension of what some might call "denial of gayness", or is it a separate genetic trait altogether?
What is actually known and scientifically proven about crossdressing, and why are we always lumped in with the gay community? That tends to make crossdressing seem like an act which is motivated more by sexual needs, rather than an actual life path that we can't seem to avoid taking at some point. Are the two that closely related? I have no problem staying away from men, there is no emotional attraction to men as a potential partner for me, but I am totally lost in tighty whiteys! I haven't worn anything but girl undies for years. I am much happier dressed like a girl, the girlier the better, but at the same time I would be mortified if I were caught in a dress. The compulsion and basic instinct to dress like a girl is unexplainable for me, but there are also limits to how far I can go and still feel comfortable.
If it isn't going to turn into a big fight I would be interested to see what anyone has to say about it. I realize this all has probably been said before in a different thread, but I'm sure there are many here who have researched this extensively, as well. If it one of those things that can only be debated, then quarreled over, just delete my post. I won't be offended.