"Why don't you bring some things with you on our vacation?"

[Jenniferathome]

My wonderful wife offered just last week. I had asked her if it was ok with her for me to be dressed on a weekend day last week. She said, of course. But one thing led to another and time ran out. We were headed to Hawaii this week and she makes the suggestion that I bring "my things" with me. I was actually a bit reticent as I didn't want to impact her vacation in any way, but she reiterated the idea and asked what I was bringing so I did. I never qsked or brought it up, i promise. I checked and doublechcked that it was still ok with her. Moments ago, we unpacked together, her sun dresses and skirts on one side of the closet, my two skirts, dress and tops on the other. She even suggested that I could borrow a dress she bought for this trip! Her only request is that I not dress every day. No problem. So here I sit in paradise in love with my wife for a million reasons and her attitude about my crossdressing is just one.

So, yes, I am very fortunate, but the moral of this story is that it can work. This didn't happen over night. We talk often and I always inform and respect her wishes. As a result, she offers me more space, if I want to take it. Despite some of the negative reactions reported on this forum, TALK to your SO. Make no demands. Move at her pace and try to inform not preach. It's a journey for us all. There was a time just last year where I was actually pushing her away and all because I couldn't talk about my crossdressing. Once I opened up, it's a great day, every day. If ylou have a solid foundation, you can get through this. If not, address the foundation first, then talk.

Best of luck to all

[STACY B]

Send us some pics from a little HULA GIRL !!

[Jay Cee]

I went on vacation to Cuba, but didn't bring much with me. An epilator, girl jeans (which are the only kind I wear), and some neutral coloured panties. I had concerns about local tolerance and / or the laws regarding CD'ing there. Still was a great vacation, and rather eye opening on how poor some countries are. When I go on vacation in the Canada or the States, I will likely bring lots of girl clothes with me.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Jenn, That sounds so wonderful you are so lucky.

[rachaelsloane]

Jen,
Enjoy your vacation and make sure to give your wife the greatest vacation ever. Watch those tan lines.
Rachael

[ReineD]

There was a time just last year where I was actually pushing her away and all because I couldn't talk about my crossdressing. Once I opened up, it's a great day, every day.

This is key!!!

I sense that even my own SO feels uncomfortable talking about certain aspects of the CDing. I could understand this if she felt reticence on my part, but there is none. Even after all these years, I would love nothing more than to understand what she feels when she dresses, but this is what she dislikes talking about most.

I also agree that if a wife does not have traditional values, really it's not that hard to get on board with it, as long as you both agree on the degree of outedness.

Have a great time in Hawaii!

[Jacqueline Winona]

You've got a great marriage, Jen! And I hope Hawaii is very kind to both of you (On Kauai, the Smith family Luau is a must. ) You're right about the journey, I'm still miles behind you and near the starting block, but you never know. Just last night my wife "threatened" me with getting a tutu for me for an event I'm doing soon.

[Marleena]

That's an awesome story Jennifer. You're very lucky to have a wife like that. Great advice there too.

[Jenniferathome]

This is key!!!
Even after all these years, I would love nothing more than to understand what she feels when she dresses, but this is what she dislikes talking about

Reine, this is an incredible irony but I am the one who wants to discuss this aspect of me and she has little interest. Now to be fair, it's cathartic for me and I can't really answer the questions she has (genetics) but she does engage when I start. I'm not a touchy-feely guy but it actually helps me understand when we talk. And every time, it is embarrassing still.

[Maria 60]

That's great, enjoy it. Almost the same thing happened to me last month when going on vacation. I was going through a dry spell and i was packing to go on vacation and my wife asked if i was bringing any fem cloths. I wasn't and she told me to pack a few things in case i got the urge. Well i listened to her and when we got there we had a total private balcony and i regretted not bringing more fem cloth's and to my surprise she seen my disappointment and told me for this time only for that week i could wear any of her cloths. That was great every morning reading on the balcony dressed and napping outside in late afternoon while my wife was getting ready for dinner and even having a last drink later at night. I didn't want to push it but i knew a chance like this wasn't going to happen any time soon. So enjoy and have fun with it.

[Helen Grandeis]

This is key!!!

I sense that even my own SO feels uncomfortable talking about certain aspects of the CDing. I could understand this if she felt reticence on my part, but there is none. Even after all these years, I would love nothing more than to understand what she feels when she dresses, but this is what she dislikes talking about most.

I also agree that if a wife does not have traditional values, really it's not that hard to get on board with it, as long as you both agree on the degree of outedness.

Have a great time in Hawaii!

In joint therapy (Reveal +1), my wife actually freaked out the most when I delved into the feelings that I experience while I am dressed. Later, at home, she returned and ridiculed those feelings. Also, I would typify my wife's values as very traditional.

[ReineD]

Reine, this is an incredible irony but I am the one who wants to discuss this aspect of me and she has little interest. Now to be fair, it's cathartic for me and I can't really answer the questions she has (genetics) but she does engage when I start. I'm not a touchy-feely guy but it actually helps me understand when we talk. And every time, it is embarrassing still.

Don't despair, the questions will come!

On the other hand, they may not. I have a lot of questions because I got to know my SO at the same time as learning about the CDing. I didn't have a long-term solid foundation with a core knowledge of him imbedded in my soul, like your wife must have with you.

Also, I would typify my wife's values as very traditional.

I'm sorry.

It is more difficult for a person to change their core values, but I believe it is possible for some GGs (maybe not all) if the partners love and respect one another. But it's unfortunate when partners, be they husband or wife, ridicule the other over things they are unhappy about rather than talk about them rationally. My ex used to do the same thing to me. Needless to say we had issues in our marriage that gave rise to these outbursts, hence its dissolution.

[Bree Wagner]

Jennifer, you're a lucky lady. Make sure you remind your wife of that often, I know mine loves it. I'm quite envious, have a great time on your trip!

[Kayla C]

Jennifer... I am so jealous... I am inspired by how well this has worked out for you.

[Silentpartner GG SO]

Jennifer I'm really happy for you - what a fanastic wife you have - but you are a lovely person and deserve this

You've got a great marriage, Jen! And I hope Hawaii is very kind to both of you (On Kauai, the SMith fmaily Luau is a must. ) You're right about the journey, I'm still miles behind you and near the starting block, but you never know. Just last night my wife "threatened" me with getting a tutu for me for an event I'm doing soon.

could be the start of something big Janice! sometimes we wives joke about something which we are actually being serious about - we just dont want to make it too much of a big deal.

[linda allen]

My wonderful wife offered just last week. I had asked her if it was ok with her for me to be dressed on a weekend day last week. She said, of course. But one thing led to another and time ran out. We were headed to Hawaii this week and she makes the suggestion that I bring "my things" with me. I was actually a bit reticent as I didn't want to impact her vacation in any way, but she reiterated the idea and asked what I was bringing so I did. I never qsked or brought it up, i promise. I checked and doublechcked that it was still ok with her. Moments ago, we unpacked together, her sun dresses and skirts on one side of the closet, my two skirts, dress and tops on the other. She even suggested that I could borrow a dress she bought for this trip! Her only request is that I not dress every day. No problem. So here I sit in paradise in love with my wife for a million reasons and her attitude about my crossdressing is just one.

So, yes, I am very fortunate, but the moral of this story is that it can work. This didn't happen over night. We talk often and I always inform and respect her wishes. As a result, she offers me more space, if I want to take it. Despite some of the negative reactions reported on this forum, TALK to your SO. Make no demands. Move at her pace and try to inform not preach. It's a journey for us all. There was a time just last year where I was actually pushing her away and all because I couldn't talk about my crossdressing. Once I opened up, it's a great day, every day. If ylou have a solid foundation, you can get through this. If not, address the foundation first, then talk.

Best of luck to all

That's a great story and I hope you both enjoy your vacation time together.

I'm in my second week of "leaking" out of the closet to my wife. I have a thread about it. So far, I'm wearing panties and a bra most of the time (underdressing), even in public. I got rid of most of my "boy" underwear. I'm not embarassed to stand in front of my wife and put the bra and panties on. I'm wearing nightgowns and I wore a pair of her stretch shorts the other day while we were cleaning house.

In a couple weeks, we are going out of town to visit her family. She packs for both of us so I'm just going to wait and see what she packs for me (I'm not going to wear a bra around her family but I'll probably wear panties if she packs them).

A couple weeks after that, we set off on a month long vacation trip. Same thing, I'll see what she packs for me.

[kimdl93]

really great post, Jennifer. Everything you say is true - openness, time, patience and particularly allowing your wife to "set the pace" really a formula for success.

[Laura912]

Although I recently had almost the same experience as Jennifer (see "Take your best shot."), and she and I are very lucky with our spouses, it does not happen to everyone as we have seen on these discussions. Kim is correct in her advice, but to rain on the parade, I think there are some couples where that simply will not happen. The reasons it does not happen, are multiple and not part of this thread. Jennifer, great story and time!