[SIZE="4"]I've been fortunate in my life to have had a few really wonderful women who've taught me a thing or two. To them, I'm eternally grateful. Therefore respect for women has always come naturally for me even to the point of awkwardness in my youth. A few more years and a little CDing has brought with it a lot more confidence.[/SIZE]
Lynn Marie
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Wearing different clothing isn't going to make A-hole men (or women) better people and certainly won't help make the world a better place... Imho. It will just be prettier! Lol.
I was raised to be respectful to everyone-male and female, young and old, etc, etc. I will agree there is much male banter in the workplace and bars-basically everywhere that is not respectful of women. But, I've also heard female banter of the same vane.
Since my wife is still working, while I am retired, I do as much as the daily chores as possible. Right now I'm waiting for one of her favorite cakes to finish baking. I prepared dinner four out of five workdays of the week. The other day we usually eat dinner out. It is a manner of being respectful of her position in the household. Of course, being dolled up in a dress and heels makes my toil a lot more pleasant than doing it en homme.
Anyway, being a cross dresser has made me more appreciative of women who take care of themselves and make themselves more attractive to their man. Although, I am a dress kind of cross dresser, I do realize dresses are not the first choice for all women. However, a woman who presents herself tastefully in jeans, pants or dress with a hint of makeup or more is really appreciated by me. I know from personal experienceit takes some effort to present oneself in an attractive manner.
Karren is right that just wearing clothes will likely not make an impression, but it never quite stops there, does it. Even if it only starts there, the more involved it gets the more we have to have an understanding of what it takes to be a woman, and what it's like to grow up as a woman.
That kind of understanding in all men would go a long way in changing how the genders view each other. IMHO.
Tina
Now to rain on this parade. IMO its important that men treat women as equals. But women will never be equal to men, until they stand shoulder to shoulder with us on the battlefield.
Let me put it this way, I see women as a lot better than men for quite a few reasons.
One of them being that I have a really, really low opinion of men.
They can be pretty hot though, depending on my mood.
:P
I agree that the hard-core feminists pushed the whole equality thing too far - as with so many situations, you get a few radicals that make a lot of noise and ruin things for the rest of us. Nobody asked me what I wanted when the women's lib movement were yapping on about women's rights. Yes, I want to be treated like an equal human being, and if I do a job same as a man, I expect to be paid the same for it - I deserve and expect the same protection in law as a man - but yes, of course I want to be treated like a woman, I AM a woman. How else should I expect to be treated?
If someone is walking behind me when I exit through a door, I automatically hold it open for them, irrespective of their gender, because I am a polite human being but I've had many occasions when a man in front of me has just let a door slam back onto me. Its not about gender, its about manners.
As for what clothing woman wear, I've no idea what women wear in the Mid-west but I would imagine the jobs available are very different from those in NYC and maybe require different clothing?.
A lot of the CD'ers here dress in their spare time, and spare time is exactly that - spare - its time when you do what you want, at leisure, so you can spend as much time as you like preening and doing your make-up, nails etc. Its fun to you, but its not something that is expected of you day in day out - you can choose to do it or not. I think its pretty naff to be judgmental about how GG's dress, and decry them because they may not put on make up or wear nail polish etc. every day. Maybe they have to work to help the family income, maybe they have to do a cra**y job cleaning toilets or sweeping streets etc. anything to earn the money in these times when jobs are few and millions are unemployed. The last thing such a women is going to care about is whether she has the right shade of nail varnish on, or that she didnt have time to do her make up this morning.
Maybe in someone's perfect fantasy world men would work and earn loads of money to keep their wife and kids in the manner they'd like to be accustomed, and the wife would stay at home, looking beautiful and doing her housework in her heels and pretty dress with her perfect make up, hair and nails - but whose fantasy is it? Certainly not the fantasy of a lot of women I know - not mine either.
In respect of law and jobs - every person irrespective of gender should have the same right to get the same pay for the same job, and to have the law protect them equally.
I'm sure you will find many women would happily stand shoulder to shoulder in battle with the men - if the powers that be would allow them. The stock answer until now, from the ones in charge, has been that they shouldnt serve alongside men because they were seen as too much of a distraction.
I've always preferred the company of women. I get along with women far more than I do with men. I generally have far more female friends than male friends. I enjoy books and movies that have a female protagonist the most. I have an immense admiration for women, and their amazing strengths. It is because I admire the very essence of femininity that I try so very hard to emulate them. Naturally, as a man, I admire their beauty, their grace and their uniqueness.
"Taking the time to be in touch with my feminine side"
But Radar--------You can't compare the two. You dont have to shovel girls. <<<giggle>>>Originally Posted by RADER
Susan in Phoenix
MALE BY BIRTH.......
FEMALE BY DESIGN
A part from the fact that women can really look cute, sexy and colorful i admire their personality. Majority of them dont engage in rough acts, they are very low risk takers and always cautious avoiding body harm. I see them as more understanding of human weaknesses and nature makes them and children to have those angelic faces so that men should not decent on them with the iron fists like they do on other men. Their ability to enjoy life is better than men they appreciate more little-little things than men do.
My CDing help me to experience how vulnerable they are when out in the night without a company cos of the harassment i get when strolling alone, i now know and feel how weak they can be in the presence of men.
I see women as a precious gift from God. Daviolin
[SIZE="6"]
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A CD AND HIS WARDROBE, ITS A BEAUTIFUL THING.
I agree if more men embraced tnrie femn side and let loose it might be a better world. I have always been very respectful and in tune with wome, could be cause I never knew dad, my wife and I have a great relationship with lots of respct 4 each other
I do think the reason has mmore to do with biological factors than anything else---in a combat situation. It would be impossible to plan when a portion of your troops are on sick call for a week or so every month. some women, I understand, can have very bad periods and that would not work in the field. It has nothing to do with whether or not women can do the hazardous duty of field combat, it is a logistics problem.
Someday, women will have equal rights, but it won't happen until they really want them, and work to get them--I don't hear any clamor for the ERA either from men or women.. one would think that in the 21st century, this would be a given situation that all have equal rights (we only get them--or lose them--by congressional laws--,) but when you have presidential material that still believes "barefoot and pregnant" we're not going to go very far.
[QUOTE=Silk;2792767]I believe that's why they invented corsets and girdles, Silk!?
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
Hmm. I just read all the posts since my plea.
I rest my case.
Auntie Stphenie
I think there are very few differences between men and women.
I try to treat women as equals. I do not place them on a pedistal.
I distrust them as much as I distrust men.
We are equally capable of being wonderful, kind and caring.
We are equally capable of being real shitty.
I agree with you 100%.
I used to think my sense of presence came from my size, but I have lost alot of muscle mass and I have more force of personality than when I was younger and bigger. I firmly believe that if I was a woman I would be able to carry the same aura as I do now. Alot more men would have a problem with it. I believe as a strong woman instead of an alpha male I could do my job and have the same respect I have now. My wife does the same job I do and she sometimes has problems with men who don't want to follow a woman but she is a petite woman and doesn't have the same presence I do. I could be totally wrong and maybe I wouldn't have developed this way if I had been born a girl, when I go out I am treated quite a bit different than when I go out as a man but I am trying to blend in, not be in charge.
[QUOTE=Silk;2792767]lol - some of us have curves where we'd rather not - eg: I know my bum looks big in this!
It doesnt really matter what we wear though does it, or even how we look in what we wear - its what's inside that counts - inner beauty never fades - and that's what I'm gonna keep telling myself every time I look in the mirror and see some old hag where there used to be a young, firm quite attractive female!
I myself have always admired and respected women maybe because i crossdress? im not really sure .I have 2 daughters and always told them to be whatever and whoever they could be and to never be held back by societies rules .One is an acountant and the other basically a homemaker im proud of both !
I have a hubcap diamond star halo
I see the soul of a person then the rest. I am more vibe first then ask questions later.
I hear you Katrina, I work in around allot of men and they tell me what they are thinking about the women and it is gross. But some of these men are my friends, well a couple, one in particular has two daughters and is a good man, that I value. Perhaps they enjoy feeling like a stud for a minute. They have no idea who they are speaking too LOL, Me I am meaning, who is very girly in spirit.
I love women and really wish I was born one. I would have made a wonderful Mom, and a good wife.....
Sometimes when I am with women, and they stop hitting on me, I am quite at ease. A few have read me as one of the girls, but at this time I avoid that, being tg'd is my own business.
polythene pam
I've hung back from this conversation because (a) I'm on vacation and not checking in for long and (b) I expected the same sort of comments as usual of two types:
- "Yes, I respect [and perhaps worship] all women"
- "I respect women but understand why they shouldn't be in certain fields (e.g., military)"
Sure enough, I've seen both of these aplenty. But I've also seen some really insightful things that I really appreciate, most notably from Stephanie and Silent Partner (as always for her).
As some have insisted, it really does come down to each person doing what it takes to earn respect, whether male or female. Do your share in the household, even when dressed up. Accept and enjoy your SO's choice of clothing and makeup, even if it doesn't match your personal ideal for them. Speak respectfully all the time, and with no bigotry toward any of the world's variants. By doing all of this and more, you make the most of your complete set of positive masculine and feminine attributes to improve the life of your partner and family, and of others in your life. Thus you show respect to the women in your life and others.
I must confess that much of the above is informed by my recent vacation read, "My Husband Wears My Clothes: Crossdressing From the Perspective of a Wife". I found this recommended on one of the recent threads and have found it to be beyond its billing. The writer really seems to understand those of us who are CDs. Take a look.
Oh yeah, in answer to the opening question ... I see women as they present themselves. If they present themselves with dignity and show respect toward others, they have certainly earned my respect. If they present as bigots, ****s, or other negative characters, it's a lot harder. They are human beings first, just like us.
Miriam
[SIZE="2"]I like to read science fiction novels that take place 10,000 years hence, and, even though there are strong female characters throughout, there are still the same basic male “attitudes” towards females being trotted out – I don’t know whether to laugh or cry! When men get together they tend to distance themselves from any hint of effeminacy, preferring to use masculinity as a form of bluff or one-upmanship. I’ve seen it, I’ve experienced it, and I do not subscribe to it. I respect women, and what women have to deal with, but they really aren’t that different from men. Do women respect ME? It’s more important to respect the individual, and not be so “black and white” about these things...
Do you suppose that GG’s have a difficult time with MtF crossdressers because CD’s transgress this imaginary boundary between the sexes? I mean, if they require (or at least expect) respect by way of deference, does this somehow undermine things? Surely crossdressing must threaten the status quo in some way, and, even though it can be seen as a form of showing respect (by way of emulation), it can also be seen by women as visual (and emotional) ridicule. I “see” women much differently since I started to crossdress, which is why I openly state that I do not wish to become one of them – I am a happy hybrid, of sorts...
Frankly, my dear, the whole thing is a DRAG...[/SIZE]
This is an accurate description of how I feel. I want my contributions to be valued as much as a man's, but I don't want to be confused for a man.
As confusing as it has been in the last few decades for men to witness women's changing roles and determining where they fit in all of this, I must admit that changing roles for women have been confusing for me as well. In my 20s I was staunchly independent, commanding a respectable salary, yet I seemed to have known the difference between men and women's social roles. I loved it when doors were opened for me and I loved feeling as if I was desired as a woman. Then I became a mom and was dependent financially on my ex, which unfortunately in our relationship caused an imbalance and I sort of lost myself in the process. I swung way too far the other way. Now come my 50s and there is no way I ever want to be dependent on anyone ever again. I'm in a relationship with a CDer who is the most egalitarian person I've ever met which satisfies my need for independence and equality, but now I feel guilty taking on a woman's role because in my mind it throws me back to the dysfunctional inequality I experienced in my marriage and also it is not something that my SO wants (I believe) in a relationship.
I know this doesn't make sense. But it sucks being my age and still struggling to know how I fit in the world and what role I should play in a relationship.
Reine
I was out with my wife tonight, me in guy mode and her in a sexy little dress - unusual for her, but too bad since she looked really hot. I asked her about when we go out sometime with me in a skirt and her in her usual slacks ... would she open the doors for me instead? Got a definite maybe.
Is this equality? ;-)
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