Wow, I'm such a hypocrite.

[Imeni]

I swear that word doesn't look like I spelled it right, but whatever. My beef is with myself today.

As I lurk the site, reading situations, questions, responses and stories, I always thought of myself as not in the closet, yet not out either. If asked straight forwardly, from anyone, I will not lie and inform them that yes, I am who I am. Of course, I won't just go about telling everyone. Some people just don't need to know.

So I just left my supportive and understanding woman of a year for other reasons not relating to CDing, I've hit the mean streets of the single life once again, on the prowl for my next future ex girlfriend. I hit up a girl I've liked for awhile, we chat alot, things go great, so I decided to slip it into a conversation, as a joke, to slip in a crossdressing joke to gauge her reaction. "It's fine, but not my cup of tea" is her response.

Damn. So we continue on, as I'm moving away to Edmonton in a few months, I'll just date her and not tell her. Till i figured I'm not that sort of person, I tell her last night.

At first, she was a little taken back. Said that she probably wouldnt be able to handle it and we'd just be friends. I die on the inside.

Then I start to think, Well, maybe she just doesn't understand. So I run her through the basics, "I'm not gay, not secretly nor wanting to be a woman, the only man part I like is my own cause its sort of grown on me", and then proceeded to tell her that she'd never have to see it. Mistake 1.

Then proceeded to tell her that she could just ignore that part of me and never have to deal with it. Mistake 2.

Then she said that maybe one day we could hang out and I could show her so it wasn't so wierd, and she could learn to accept it. Which I raise an eyebrow to as, yes, we all yern for accepting people in our lives, wouldnt seeing it just make it more real and even more strange?

[kimdl93]

Imeni, I think her response was probably what any rational woman might say. Your mistakes 1 & 2 weren't really mistakes at all, but rather an attempt to put your CDing into the larger perspective of your life. And she responded pretty well to that, as it seems.

So, today, she thinks you're a great guy, capable of honest even at the expense of embarrassment or losing a potential relationship. And she's probably reflecting, today, on her initial - automatic response - with a mix of apprehensions and curiosity. Very normal things for any person to do. I would let her process and leave actually "showing" her till later on, when, if it happens, the two of you are more seriously involved.

[docrobbysherry]

Imeni, I have LOTS of experience with women! Even a couple of GGs I've told about my dressing. One, I even showed pictures of Sherry. All that being said, here's the best advice I can give u: I can NEVER figure out exactly what "mistakes" I've made with them until I've already made them! So, best of luck with GG's in the future!

And, the only people who AREN'T hypocrites r those WHO ADMIT THEY R! Lol!

[STACY B]

Just do what I did when appraoched by a lady that u think u mite get involved with or have something to do with tell em ,, Listen Im SPECIAL ,, I love ladys ,,,, I meen LOVE LADYS !!! Everything about em ,, So we have to get that out the way ?

[Lynn Marie]

[SIZE="4"]So my question is do you have to have a "relationship"? What if you could do anything you wanted, anytime and not have to justify yourself to anyone! Think about it.[/SIZE]

[AllieSF]

I like what Kim wrote. I think you did fine. Let her digest and process what she now knows. You do not need to bring it up again soon. Enjoy your time together. I also really like what Sherry said. You need to be yourself in conversation with others, especially when dealing with this side of you. You need to make those foot in the mouth mistakes to learn how to talk about the subject in a way that encourages rather than discourages further conversation. I have been there and done that, and need to make a few more mistakes to fine tune my coming out conversation for someone I really love. Good luck.

[Imeni]

And I quote, word for word, "I just dont know if i could handle that its a little to much baggage but i mean we can for sure be friends and what not." Awesome. Apparently my crossdressing has shot down a shot with a girl I've liked for like, forever, because its just too much. Yep. I feel like a winner. I wonder if my little hiding cave in that back corner is still there. I hid there once from people, I bet my cable is still hooked up...