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Thread: Interpersonal Influence

  1. #1
    ~On the road to Erin~ ZosKiaCultusC7's Avatar
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    Interpersonal Influence

    Hey all,

    I just wanted to get everyone's input on something because this is something that I've been noticing quite a bit. For those who have fully transitioned, this may not be for you in your current situation but rather in the past. Regardless, I'm using current-time terms.

    I'm very early in my transition (day 15 of HRT) and I am nowhere near full-time. However, I have been working on my mannerisms, posture etc. and applying them to my personality, even in male-mode. I just went to lunch with a business colleague and while we BSed, I noticed that I easily slipped into the person I don't want to be, not to mention having "guy" conversation that bores the hell out of me. This is understandable because I have been this person for so long but the fact that I'm used to being this way gives me a sense of comfort in the moment, only to dissipate shortly after.

    I'm not questioning my decision to transition because I know that it is right for me. I'm just curious to know if it is common to have your old self creep up on you during the growth of your new self. I don't know.....I might be over-thinking this and worrying too much. I don't find this to be doubt but rather fear; fear of how current coworkers will perceive me when Erin takes over. I think that I'm just concerned about the future of my career and the changes I'm going to have to make when it comes time to go full-time, such as moving to another location within the company. It seems like this is primarily applying to my job because when I think about my friends who know and my friends who don't know, there isn't any concern.

    I hope this makes sense. I've been tired lately and it seems like my thoughts have been more jumbled than usual.

  2. #2
    Aspiring Member Kristy_K's Avatar
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    My personal thoughts on that is.

    That is why they call it transitioning. Live and have fun learning.

    Kristy

  3. #3
    Silver Member noeleena's Avatar
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    Hi,

    Have i changed , yes, just not transitioned . i had to grow as a person first & then grow as a woman . i was never a true male in the sence we talk about here being I S so i came with both .
    For my self it was about expressing my self not as a male or female it was about who i was / am you see, its about the person not wether your male or female . well for my self there was no male / female because of the way i was born.
    a little different ,
    Growing as a female / woman for my self has been great,

    You said work, im a builder by trade 46 years plus other trades , both as a percived male & as a woman & there was no difference. & no probs , & why should there have been. because im a female / woman . well i know to many people & im well known never had issues with the many firms i have been dealing with for over 16 years & some long before that, no different then or now,

    Check my profile on the net just google my name . youll get the idear,

    How best to go about issue's & details in our lives will & can depend on how strong we are & having the confidence to do what we need to. all the best .

    ...noeleena...

  4. #4
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    Hi!!

    For a couple of years after transition I would " slip " and say or do something that appeared male.
    Think of transition also as immersion into the world you always had to be in.
    It takes time to saturate yourself with what you need in order to appear to others as the true you.
    The one thing that is a MUST is to stop being brutal to yourself and be more forgiving.
    Your going down a pathway that will require you to be your own savior, your own mentor and your own best friend if you expect to make it to the other side in one piece.
    Everything will come to you.
    Keep studying and working at this but above all don't stop believing in you.
    Your going to be fine You'll see.


    Julia
    Last edited by Julia_in_Pa; 03-29-2012 at 08:15 AM.

  5. #5
    ~On the road to Erin~ ZosKiaCultusC7's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kristy_K View Post
    My personal thoughts on that is.

    That is why they call it transitioning. Live and have fun learning.

    Kristy
    Awesome.

    When I think about it, asking the question was kind of pointless because logically, it makes sense to easily fall back into old habits, especially during the early stages. Like you all mentioned, it's something you have to grow into. Rome wasn't built in a day.

  6. #6
    Senior Member JohannaH's Avatar
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    Just give it time. I have been on M2F HRT for over 6 months and I have not transitioned, although I have observed the effects. So I am really amazed that you are being so hard on yourself after only 15 days on HRT.

    Johanna
    I regard myself as a double spirited individual with a masculine side and a feminine side.

    Below is a virtual makeover courtesy of TAAZ.

    Johanna (John)

  7. #7
    ~On the road to Erin~ ZosKiaCultusC7's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JohannaH View Post
    Just give it time. I have been on M2F HRT for over 6 months and I have not transitioned, although I have observed the effects. So I am really amazed that you are being so hard on yourself after only 15 days on HRT.

    Johanna
    I do have a tendency to beat myself up over things that I shouldn't.

  8. #8
    Senior Member JohannaH's Avatar
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    I might add that I may never transition to being en femme 24/7. But I simply take one day at a time. In our society a woman can wear masculine clothing without any repercussions but a man may not do so.

    Johanna
    I regard myself as a double spirited individual with a masculine side and a feminine side.

    Below is a virtual makeover courtesy of TAAZ.

    Johanna (John)

  9. #9
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    I still do it...

    its hard to compare a couple years of living this way vs a lifetime of living "that" way..

    I'm naturally boisterous , loud and i still interrupt way to much...luckily i am brilliant and entertaining so i get away with it!!

    Living your own female life is almost certainly gonna include "male" moments.....

  10. #10
    ~On the road to Erin~ ZosKiaCultusC7's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JohannaH View Post
    In our society a woman can wear masculine clothing without any repercussions but a man may not do so.

    Johanna
    This is something that needs to just go away. There is too much emphasis on proving one's masculinity, especially in our society. I hope that one day, sooner than later, our society adapts androgyny like Japan's society has.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kaitlyn Michele View Post
    I still do it...

    its hard to compare a couple years of living this way vs a lifetime of living "that" way..

    I'm naturally boisterous , loud and i still interrupt way to much...luckily i am brilliant and entertaining so i get away with it!!

    Living your own female life is almost certainly gonna include "male" moments.....
    Haha, I know plenty of cis-gendered females that are loud and interrupt way too much.

  11. #11
    Senior Member JohannaH's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by xulvalhalla View Post
    This is something that needs to just go away. There is too much emphasis on proving one's masculinity, especially in our society. I hope that one day, sooner than later, our society adapts androgyny like Japan's society has.
    I for one would not wish the androgyny on any society to the extent as it has happened in Japan. I see pictures where there are young men that are dressed and groomed to look ultra-feminine - certainly much more than what we see with genetic women in our society. Worse of all is a lot of them have no sexual drive and the urge to marry and have families. Japan is facing a population crisis as its population is shrinking.

    But if the restrictions placed on men are not relaxed in our society the situation described above could very well happen to our society. I for one would like to see men as men be able to have the same freedoms as women to dress and groom themselves - and that includes wearing dresses, skirts, and heels, along with makeup and nail polish. I don't mean that they have to pass as women - I still would like men to be able to look like men wearing those articles.

    Johanna
    Last edited by JohannaH; 03-29-2012 at 03:28 PM.
    I regard myself as a double spirited individual with a masculine side and a feminine side.

    Below is a virtual makeover courtesy of TAAZ.

    Johanna (John)

  12. #12
    Aspiring Member Kristy_K's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JohannaH View Post
    I for one would not wish the androgyny on any society to the extent as it has happened in Japan. I see pictures where there are young men that are dressed and groomed to look ultra-feminine - certainly much more than what we see with genetic women in our society. Worse of all is a lot of them have no sexual drive and the urge to marry and have families. Japan is facing a population crisis as its population is shrinking.

    But if the restrictions placed on men are not relaxed in our society the situation described above could very well happen to our society. I for one would like to see men as men be able to have the same freedoms as women to dress and groom themselves - and that includes wearing dresses, skirts, and heels, along with makeup and nail polish. I don't mean that they have to pass as women - I still would like men to be able to look like men wearing those articles.

    Johanna
    Now that is a wonderful thought Johanna.

    A place that where people are free to be themselves and not be what society expect them to be.

    That alone could change the world for as we know it today. But that was just a thought.

    Kristy

  13. #13
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    I actually admire Japan's birth rate decline.
    The same with European countries like Italy.
    The thought process that human species procreation is needed is flawed.
    If we can get to zero population growth with a goal of double digit negative percentage we can once again allow the earth to breath and thrive.
    Personally I'd love to see the U.S. population drop to less than one hundred million with a goal of seeing the world population decrease by massive numbers.
    I'm not really a environmentalist as I am a detractor of the overall human race that keeps multiplying, spreading, destroying only to multiply again.


    Julia

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