I just wanted to get everyone's input on something because this is something that I've been noticing quite a bit. For those who have fully transitioned, this may not be for you in your current situation but rather in the past. Regardless, I'm using current-time terms.
I'm very early in my transition (day 15 of HRT) and I am nowhere near full-time. However, I have been working on my mannerisms, posture etc. and applying them to my personality, even in male-mode. I just went to lunch with a business colleague and while we BSed, I noticed that I easily slipped into the person I don't want to be, not to mention having "guy" conversation that bores the hell out of me. This is understandable because I have been this person for so long but the fact that I'm used to being this way gives me a sense of comfort in the moment, only to dissipate shortly after.
I'm not questioning my decision to transition because I know that it is right for me. I'm just curious to know if it is common to have your old self creep up on you during the growth of your new self. I don't know.....I might be over-thinking this and worrying too much. I don't find this to be doubt but rather fear; fear of how current coworkers will perceive me when Erin takes over. I think that I'm just concerned about the future of my career and the changes I'm going to have to make when it comes time to go full-time, such as moving to another location within the company. It seems like this is primarily applying to my job because when I think about my friends who know and my friends who don't know, there isn't any concern.
I hope this makes sense. I've been tired lately and it seems like my thoughts have been more jumbled than usual.