With so many new people joining recently, it seems appropriate to inform those who may not be aware that it is presumptuous of them to begin a post using, "Hi girls" or something similar.
Many of us are not "girls" or "gurls". We are male crossdressers.
There are stickies dealing with this matter. Please read them and take note!
If they are attempting to address everyone then you are right. If they identify as a girl and are addressing like minded people than addressing their post that way is entirely proper.
Sally
Ummm........for reals?
Could the op or anyone else point out these stickies for me or anything else in the rules/FAQs dealing with this, cause i could not find it.
Yeah, i understand that it is somewhat assumptive in nature and misses a few folks, but.......
I mean other than saying "hello membership", i suppose there is this, "hello all MtFs, FtMs, GGs, TSs, TGs, GQs, ISs, it is sure nice to be here".
Hmmmm, seems like another case of political correctness beating down the human spirit.
Last edited by Cassandra Lynn; 04-04-2012 at 07:43 PM.
I agree to a point. I don't know that I will eer say "hey girls", but if it makes the people who say it happy? Why take that from them? And it does make me feel a little like part of a "group" I must admit. I guess what I'm saying is what's the harm?
We have a rule in place somewhere, about not addressing posts to any specific gender in the forum sections that are frequented by all genders, such as Intros, Special Events, Loved Ones, Classified, etc, in short any section that is not specifically gender designated (like transmen, FAB, and M2F). I also believe the Body Issues section is for whoever has body questions, F2M & M2F.Originally Posted by clayfish
If you see anyone addressing their posts, "Hi girls" in any of the non-gender-specific sections, please feel free to report the posts. It will only take a second for a mod to remove the "hi girls". We do this frequently.
But, if you object to a "hi girls" greeting in the M2F, please be reminded that M2F is short for "male to female", and there is really no other word than "female" to describe the gender that a GM crossdresser aims to present as. Even though a CDer may not identify as a female when he dresses, he presents as one (there are always exceptions to this of course, but most do here, according to the Gallery pics and most avatars), and it is, after all, polite to address someone in the gender they are presenting.
Edit Clayfish ... even your own avatar is clearly a girl!
Last edited by ReineD; 04-04-2012 at 07:49 PM.
Reine
Can I remind everyone here, that this section of the forum is Male To Female! Come on! This is is where the girls hang out and chit chat about things! If you dont want to see the words "hey girls" then go to the female to male section of the forum. Are you with me girls?
Speaking for myself, I don't like hearing the word "girl" used to refer to anyone except a human female under the age of about 18 or 21.
When people call adult women "girls," it always sounds like they don't take them seriously, like they're saying, "there, there, go back and play with your dolls." It's sort of like calling an African-American man "boy." And I'm not alone in this -- over the past 40+ years, I've heard an awful lot of women say they hear it as a put-down. If you do this, especially if you're male -- and a lot of GMs here at CD.com do it -- you're being sexist.
When people, especially males, call males "girls," it's usually intended as an insult. Back when I was growing up, I had people say, "what are you, some kind of girl?" to me often enough (and, no I wasn't CDing then), and I heard a lot of other boys called the same thing, and it was not a complement. 50 years have passed, and, outside CDing circles, it's still always meant as an insult. It's also a misogynistic insult, since it's based on the idea that female-ness is something disgusting or shameful. In other words, it's a two-for-the-price-of-one insult: it insults the man, but it also insults all women at the same time.
I'm sure that lots of CDs are going to try to tell me that they don't mean anything negative by calling CDs "girls." But I've seen too much evidence that a lot of CDs at some level hate their "girlishness," even while they are revelling in trying to be as "feminine" as they can be, and that's what I hear when CDs here say "girls." Besides, if you really aren't sexist or misogynistic, why make it sound like you are?
Now I've said my piece. I'm not the language police, and I'm not going to call you out if you call yourselves, or other CDs, or your SOs, or the GFs here "girls". But you know what i'll be thinking.
I've been known to identify as as a 'bi-fricated-multi-bivalved-xeno-morphic-triscatialian', allthough I have wondered from time to time what someone who idetifies as a male crossdresser would like to be called. In public would it be a feminine pronoun or not ? I do know we have some here who present as male, just dressed as female. So i can understand the desire for male pronouns. Anyone ?
Thank you, Reine, for clarifying that. I was aware that there was some concern about this and have usually used a generic "hello all" when in doubt.
I don't get too up in arms when someone makes a minor pronoun gaffe. We create a very muddy situation when we wander across gender lines and it's to be expected that occasionally one of us will slip in that mud. I think that reasonable people should rise above such minor issues.
Eryn
"These girls have the most beautiful dresses. And so do I! How about that!" [Kaylee, in Firefly] [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
"What do you care what other people think?" [Arlene Feynman, to her husband Richard]
"She's taller than all the women in my family, combined!" [Howard, in The Big Bang Theory]
"Tall, tall girl. The woman could hunt geese with a rake!" [Mary Cooper, in The Big Bang Theory]
So what now, "Hi women!"?
Is there a problem with "girlfriend" or "boyfriend"?
I'm pro PC but this is a bit much...
WOW! You would really be offened if you hung out with me and my friends who call each other tranny girl! Come on! Get out of the dark ages! We are all self impowering girls here! And I use that term in the most respectable way! Its not demeaning to call your female friend girl! Its like guys calling each other dude! You have to loosen up and quit worring so much and have fun with life! And like I said in my previous post, this is the male to FEMALE part of the forum so hearing people say "hey girl" should not offend you here!
I suppose since i am on a CD web site, I don't have a problem being addressed in the female form. I always get a chuckle out of everyone referring to "she"
The thing is, if you're a CD like me, at first u may be uncomfortable referring to others here as, "Girls, ladies, etc.". I certainly was on arriving here! But, u don't have to do that yourself! They're YOUR posts after all!
However, if u object to us referring to u as a, "Girl, etc.", you'll probably get used to it! As I have! Or, u may wish to move to another forum? I see it now as a form of endearment!
Last edited by docrobbysherry; 04-05-2012 at 11:25 AM.
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
I have no objection to being referred to as a girl woman or she. I rather like it.
Seems to me we could just about fill the forum with nothing but posts along these lines:
"I don't like being called this", "I don't like being called that", "I dont fall into this category, or that category"
My rule of thumb is that I try to only be offended if someone intends to offend me.
For example, a FTM posting something along the lines of "Hi guys!" would not offend me because there would be no intent to be offensive.
A troll coming into the forum and making a post like "Hey DUDES!" would really piss me off though, because he meant it to be offensive and mean.
In a forum like this, you cant have one rule fits all, and you are bound to read things that irritate you. You are gonna spend a lot of time being irritated if you choose to be offended when there is no intent behind it.
Last edited by TxKimberly; 04-04-2012 at 08:38 PM.
I have to agree with this sentiment in regards to the original post. I tend to identify a little more with my masculine side then my feminne, but being referred to as she is certainly a nice pick-me-up. Which is the other part of the original post that caught my attention and that was the level of politcal correctness is sometimes a bit much. Certainly, if someone began the post that way in a deiberate attempt to rub some the wrong way, then by all means it should be addressed. But the manner that it appears to be written, particularly in the male to female lobby, seems to be a completely appropriate way to begin an address to the population of this lobby.
As much hard work as I have put into blending as a woman you can call be girl all day long , in fact I would be offended if you called me anything other than a girl.
Just and older girl trying to experience all that life can bring.
"Life is not a dress rehearsal"
I have to agree with the girls here, lol. I don't come to this forum to be my male self, I am Jessika here. Hear me roar!
Scouts Out
I agree, but I think it's pretty safe to say the majority of the M2Fs here do wish to present as women when they dress (no matter how they identify)? Even outside this forum, in my SO's largish TG support group, there is only one person who presents as a male (with a beard) in a dress. I doubt he (or she?) would feel insulted if someone addressed the entire TG support group members with, "hi girls".
But, if someone does not want to frequent a forum where the majority do present as women, I know there are forums out there for men who like to wear skirts as men. I've visited them.
I dare say that most members here who go out, would feel insulted if they were referred to as a "he" while dressed?
Reine
Sorry, but i cannot bring myself to refer to the members as "Howdy Dudes in dresses." If you have adopted a female name, if you dress and present and take pictures, and use female avatars, you are female while you are here. What you are on your time is your business, but dont give me a female picture and resent being referred to as girl. This is a friendly place, and friendly women refer to each other as girls all the time.
The reference to use of "boy" is an example. Black to black it is used all the time, and worse are used as familiar greetings among like minded people. Girl is merely indicative that we are all friends here, we are all dressing as females (some more serious than others, but still the same) and I intend to be as friendly as I can be, and want all to be friendly with me. I am one of the girls when I am here. What i am when I log off is no ones business, and I would never call you girl if i met you in person, that would be presumptuous.
Have fun, be my friend
Barbara
He (she) who would learn to fly one day must first learn to stand and walk and run and climb and dance.
- Friedrich Nietzche -
I may never get to fly like the other girls, but I do so want to dance, so I continue to climb.
like!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes, this girl is with you!
Right On Pinky!!! While I am here I am one of the "girls"!!! I spend more time then I want to being a guy everyday. This is my girltime, no matter how I am dressed!!
All my girls are with me! I love that!!!!! Go girl power!
I cannot believe tht this would be an issue here of all places!! I love being called a girl or wman or even sweety!!!
I wish I had the courage to just be myself and live my life how I want
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