Page 5 of 5 FirstFirst ... 345
Results 101 to 111 of 111

Thread: Question for all of you in the closet

  1. #101
    Senior Member Jacqueline Winona's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    Northern California
    Posts
    1,051
    Jess, I have absolutely no problem with your question or this thread- you asked for answers, we gave them, everyone commented on it, and you accepted the answers while debating a few points, all respectfully IMO. These are the threads that make the board an interesting place, and I appreciate your efforts. You could not be more right about the privacy thing- I am very reluctant to share a lot in "real life," about anything. Even online I try to keep a lot of things private (although baring my soul here is easier than anywhere else. )

  2. #102
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Posts
    6,896
    Sorry Jess, but I am late to the game again.

    I understand where you are coming from in general. Let me reverse a point for a minute to make another point. One thing I never understood when I first went out, was when members here said they didn't go out because "They lived in the bible belt" or "They lived around hicks" or more generic "Lived in an unaccepting are". Where I live is considered a bastion of conservatism. Yet I get out and I don't run into any issues with acceptance. So my mind kept racing around the thoughts of how anyone could have that perception without trying (and I am limiting this to those that said it was their only reason for not going out)?

    But the key point is that each person's feelings are a culmination of their experiences and perceptions. They perceive my area to be unaccepting and they may perceive their area to be the same. We have to all live with our perceptions and we sure want to err on the side of safety if we have any concerns. I may not agree with someone's outlook on their location, but I strongly support their need to live within their outlooks and comfort levels. What we do can have negative side effects, so given that, we shouldn't push past any internal alarms we have going off.

    So yes, while I don't understand why some people think an area is unaccepting and they don't understand why I can't see why it is unaccepting, it is okay to have different views as long as we support that it is why that person does what they do.

  3. #103
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Midwest U.S.
    Posts
    7,357
    I have been out on very rare occasions. At my size, i am stared at, and read easily. I did find it very adventurous and exciting, though. But, i was also super nervous, anxious, scared, paranoid. I am an emotional bi polar super sensitive fool, the way i am in drab, but, in a dress, in public, it is on steroids! Sooner or later, , out in public, a very uncomfortable incident WILL occur. My second time out, a COP pulled me over! Near heart attack! I have no problem with all who go out regularly, if you can pull it off. At my height (six foot six), I go out very seldom, and plan very carefully. In this small town area, if neighbors, or others found out, it could get ugly! I sure have no problem with those who stay in, or those who go out. Live and let live!

  4. #104
    Nondressing CDer ReluctantDebutant's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    214
    What a great question. So great that it pulled me out of lurking to make a post.

    As for me I stay in the closet becuase I don't see anything gained by coming out to friends or family. I may like to wear women's clothes I don't hate male clothes. When I am at work or spending time with friends and family I have never thought to myself "I really wish i was wearing that LBD that's at home". I simply don't feel the need to dress in front of them, it can always seem to wait until I get home. Ihave thought about telling them but even when I imagine the 100% supportive scenario I don't see myself dressing more or going out dressed with them. I guess because every time I do dress it never feels like who I am but just something I do. So I would gain nothing but chances are more likely that I would lose something.

  5. #105
    Junior Member kelsey52's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Location
    Kansas
    Posts
    76
    I find no reason to come out to family, I dress in home or will go out underdressed and never have anything on with family around. For me comming out would just cause many many problems. Now if I was really having problems with being in boy mode most of the time I think I would come out if they dont like it fine move on and find acceptance some where else and hope someday the family will take me back.

  6. #106
    Member zorianacd's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    124
    I completely understand the reluctance to make dressing public especially where you live. There are so many factors at play. For me, I won't come out where I live and will travel to other places to spend time en femme. To each his or her own. I still shop in drab with abandon.
    Hugs,

    Zoe

  7. #107
    Silver Member STACY B's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    South Miss
    Posts
    2,908
    Sure !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now yall tell me there was a CLOSET ? Yea thanx alot .
    Yull Find Out !!! lol,,,,

  8. #108
    Member ME2.0's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Posts
    196
    I guess, to turn the question around, why do all out of the closet crossdressers think that the closetted ones have to come out or they're not "progressing". I am a firmly in the closet crossdresser. It wouldn't validate me to go out in public like this. It doesn't invalidate me either. I dress because it makes me happy. I don't do it for any kind of attention from the general public. I don't do it to seek acceptance from any group. I don't do it to shock others. I don't do it because I don't feel "pretty inside". I do it because it makes ME happy. I don't feel that I must progress to somewhere else. I'm comfortable with where I am.

    If you enjoy the ferris wheel at the local fair, do you feel the need to move up to the roller-coasters at Disney World, and then progress to cliff diving, and then progress to sky-diving? Because if you stay in one place it isn't a good thing?

    There's so much peer pressure on this site to come out of the closet--I thought I left all of that nonsense behind in high-school. If I want to come out of the closet it will be because I feel that I want to, not because someone told me that I'm not moving forward.

    Just my opinions

    Staci

  9. #109
    Member danielletorresani's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Posts
    281
    I was in the closet and very happy to be there. My wife didn't even know....until I got outted a few weeks ago. She found some videos I made on my computer. That was not a good day....

    I'm thankful she's not leaving me as I thought she would if she ever found out. She's definitely not accepting, but we agreed to never talk about it again which is just fine with me.

    Truly, I wish I could go back in the closet and keep this side of myself my dirty little secret...

  10. #110
    Gold Member NicoleScott's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Mississippi
    Posts
    5,000
    Quote Originally Posted by JessHaust View Post
    . The more of us who got out there, hold out pretty heads up high and show the world that we are real, normal, self confident and harmless people, the more society will accept us.
    Jess, your early post in this thread gave me the idea that you just wanted others' views on why they stay in the closet. As the thread wore on, I started to sense a coming-out agenda. After reading the above quote, how could I think otherwise?

  11. #111
    Makeup addict!
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    813
    Quote Originally Posted by JessHaust View Post
    So my question is this: What is it that YOU think that makes your situation so very different than mine? (and others like me)
    I'm way too scared to come out. I have friends who don't have a problem with crossdressers, but they were my high school friends and we live away from each other since we've all moved away for school

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  


Check out these other hot web properties:
Catholic Personals | Jewish Personals | Millionaire Personals | Unsigned Artists | Crossdressing Relationship
BBW Personals | Latino Personals | Black Personals | Crossdresser Chat | Crossdressing QA
Biker Personals | CD Relationship | Crossdressing Dating | FTM Relationship | Dating | TG Relationship


The crossdressing community is one that needs to stick together and continue to be there for each other for whatever one needs.
We are always trying to improve the forum to better serve the crossdresser in all of us.

Browse Crossdressers By State