Looks Like I've Been Outed

[RADER]

Persephone:
You knocked them over, very well done. Congratulations to you.
I understand that the last week was aggravating, But you prevailed.
Now do not forget to pay our dues.
Rader

[S. Lisa Smith]

Well played!! It's great that things have turned out better than you expected!!

[Nikki A.]

I'm so happy that things went well. I guess you're one of the girls.

[Sandra1746]

Persephone, your direct but non-confrontational response was apparently exactly what was called for. If you had 'slunk off' and hid then nemesis could have claimed victory, now she is the one with egg all over her face; and by her own doing too. A "screaming match" would have had no good result either.

Great news and I wish you the best in the future with your club. Stand tall and be proud of who you are. Good luck in the future.

Hugs,
Sandra1746

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Persephone, you look fantastic.
It's a shame that people have to act that way but you came out smelling like a rose
and she has (($#!+)) all over her face.

It's like the old saying goes
"never argue with an idiot they will drag you down to ther level and beat you with thier stupidity"

Or "don't wrestle with a pig because you both will get all dirty".

[Stephanie47]

I'm happy the women affirmed their friendship with you. I guess they realized there was more to you than just a guy wearing a dress. Your inner personalty transcended the accident that you are biologically a man. I would hope men who discovered a close confident and friend over the years was a cross dresser would not terminate a good relationship. We can only hope.

[STACY B]

Well ,,,Well ,,, Well,, Dont want to be the one who said I told ya so ?? But ,,,, Told yaaaaaa ,, See it doesn't matter whats in your pants ,,,Its whats in your heart ,, You my dear are a LADY ,, An they all know it ,, Maybe not female ?? But still a LADY !

[Vanessa Storrs]

I have a horrible fear of needles, I am a basket case when I need to get a blood test or receive a vaccination. I'm not too sure what I'm afraid of, I just know that I'm horribly afraid. Once I feel the needle and realize that the pain in not bad and that I will probably survive the ordeal I relax.
Crossdressing is much the same. We spend much of our lives in fear that we will be outed and that some kind of horrible consequences will result. Most times when one of us is outed it is no big deal and whatever happens is positive.
Persephone, it is nice to hear your story of being accepted by the group.

[Patrice_CD]

I'm so glad to read that just about everyone at the dinner was accepting of you. See, you do have a lot of friends within the group. The nemesis will eventually fade away.

[ReineD]

Good for you!

I'm not surprised though. The Nemesis' intentions may have been to shock everyone and get them to turn against you, but she discovered that most people aren't as small minded as her. Having you ignore her sent a clear message that you are onto her pettiness. Now it is up to her to take stock of the situation and offer you a heartfelt apology.

If she does manage to learn something from this and grow, do you think you might find it in your heart to gracefully accept her apology? This would be the culmination of a victory, in my view.

BTW, you look very nice!

[Rogina B]

I knew you had a whole lot more supporting friends than she does!! And,accepting her apology when it comes will indeed frost the cake!

[Jonianne]

Persephone, when it comes down to the nitty gritty, it's the heart that wins the day and your heart has really shown through. I am so happy for you, but not suprised.

[xdressed]

I've been wondering recently if crossdressing actually has as much a stigma as we seem to believe it does. The public's reaction to people like Eddie Izzard and Alex Reid suggests not, and I think your story does as well, was very interesting to read.

[Tina B.]

So they knew you as a nice lady before, and they know your a nice lady afterward, I just don't understand your surprise, you have been accepted among them for a long time now, of course they don't want to lose you. Either that or there just after the dues! lol
Tina B

[Eryn]

If she does manage to learn something from this and grow, do you think you might find it in your heart to gracefully accept her apology? This would be the culmination of a victory, in my view.

Considering that this woman has already changed her apparent attitude once and then switched back to the attack I'd be leery of trusting her very far, even with an apology. On the off chance that an apology is offered it certainly should be graciously accepted, but then it would be a good idea to steer clear of her potential trouble in the future.

I've been wondering recently if crossdressing actually has as much a stigma as we seem to believe it does. The public's reaction to people like Eddie Izzard and Alex Reid suggests not, and I think your story does as well, was very interesting to read.

Well, there have been quite a few crossdressing comedians over the years, but I don't think that the efforts of Flip Wilson and Milton Berle have done much to prompt the acceptance of mainstream crossdressing. Eddie Izzard, perhaps, since he actually goes out dressed.

The Alex Reid story is pretty bizarre, with him apparently being outed by his girlfriend (wife?), then somewhat embracing his crossdressing, then lately saying that he's given it up for his new girlfriend. He's more of a fetish dresser, which of course is juicy for the media. I don't think that he represents CDing's finest hour.

[Miriam-J]

Beautifully handled, Persephone, and a wonderful result.

It strikes me that you're even better off now than before the 'outing'. After all, you no longer have to worry about being discovered and can just be yourself. Perhaps Nemesis is due a thank you, even though the result may be far from what she intended.

Congratulations!

Miriam

[docrobbysherry]

I'm so happy for u, Persephone! However, u r a truly nice person! And, I would expect u to be treated as u were!

In fact, your experience helps varify my CD theory! That if vanilla folks could ACTUALLY MEET TG folks with no stigma attached, almost all of them would accept almost all of us! Because from my experiences meeting many of u, you're REALLY GOOD PEOPLE!

Unfortunately, it's us few nasty exceptions that help PROVE the RULE! Sigh!

[PretzelGirl]

There you go. Most people know which side of the fence has the ground covered in cow manure. You were already friends with them and they saw through the nemesis. It just speaks to what kind of person you are!

[Claire Cook]

How wonderful to be accepted like that! You have some great friends -- and so much to look forward to. As Mary has said, now you can be yourself, and everyone can appreciate you for being you. Thanks agian for sharing this!

[Nicole Erin]

Nemesis is just some bigot. You see, bigotry is going out of style. Most of them probably do know of your gender status and women tend to be more accepting of TG.

For the future, don't be real surprised if someone has questions that they will address one on one. It will probably start with, "I don't want to be offensive..." Or maybe some will say, "I would have never known" or maybe, "I already knew, it doesn't bother me". However, the friendships you have developed to date will stand. All you have to do now is keep doing what you have always done, stay loyal to your friends who have shown you the same respect, and of course pay the dues (all organizations need money to exist.)

And enjoy this thought - Nemesis tried to ruin your name by coming out with this, but now that she used up that revelation, what does she have to use now? Nothing. Her fight is over, she has no more ammo. Did she REALLY expect to shatter the respect you have earned with the group?

For any TG person, it is best to not bring it up on our own. No need to address the group with something like, "It has come to light that I am TG..." Just keep being you.

[vetobob9]

I am continually amazed by people who will be so kind to you face to face, but lack any kind of a moral fiber in their entire being, and will throw you to the dogs behind your back when they think you will not know. I do not wish to offend anyone, but I would bet money this woman goes to church every sunday, thumps her bible, and sings in the choir, and is still one of the most immoral people I can imagine.

You have the high road, and I am sure that given time, your true friends in your group will see her for what she is, and reject her for what she is. Be honest. At your meeting, if you feel an uneasiness from the other women, address the group as mentioned by others. You have the upper hand. You know what was done, and who did it, and you can work your words to emphasize the good that you and your friends have experienced through your membership. You have been an asset to that group. I think most of them know that, and given the chance will say so and support you.

Love, Barbara

That reminds me. Where I work, in a restaurant. Everyday these women come over straight from church services. The first thing they start doing is abusing the waitresses, then when they are done doing that they try to walk out without paying their tickets. It's the same women over and over again.
There is also a pastor at a church here that comes in and uses his church's funds to buy meals for his friends and mistresses. A pastor of all people.

FTR, both men and women are coming around to accepting TG's. But women will be quicker in their acceptance. Men might take a while but they will accept eventually, depending on where you are.

[vetobob9]

I've been wondering recently if crossdressing actually has as much a stigma as we seem to believe it does. The public's reaction to people like Eddie Izzard and Alex Reid suggests not, and I think your story does as well, was very interesting to read.

I mix male and female clothing. Most people can tell I am wearing a bra and forms under my male clothes but they appear accepting. I have even had some of the customers where I work ask for me by my male name.

Yes at least one coworker sounded shocked when she realized it. But in the end everyone is accepting, even the critics.

Maybe some of the fear about being outed might actually be unjustified but I would say it still depends on where we live and work. But we should remember that how we treat and talk to people matters even more than those.

[Marleena]

I'm glad this turned out well for you Persephone. Nichole seems to have said it all. In the end your friends remain friends and Nemesis looks like a fool.