There have been alot of questioning posts lately...

i think this can be about breaking the ice, and folks that lurk here in the ts section, seeing some very good and courageous people sharing their story, and deciding to jump in with their story...anyway...

it made me think of all the signs i ignored over the years. Can you remember things you tucked away..for example, in my college years, i was a librarian.. i recall finding Jan Morris' book Conundrum...she was a pioneer transitioner...and i was literally obsessed with ONE passage about her getting in a cab and experiencing a guy calling her "luv" for the first time...in that moment to me, she was a woman...it wasn't about dressing, it wasn't about emulating...it was being to me...and i would go up and read that passage all the time!!! over and over!!! how strange...and it was especially strange because it didn't click with me that i was just like her...

I also recall in mid 90's i found lyn conway's ts women's success page and her ffs page... i became obsessed (and this is when i developed my debilitating (heh) internet addiction!!!) with those pages... i read and reread them... and i still didnt connect the dots!!! i figured i was just into transsexuals..duh!!!!!!!!...i started thinking of getting a nose job from these ffs surgeons...i viewed it as a CD fantasy... could i do it and nobody notice? how long would it take? could i pass better? etcetc...but never...I'm TS...btw...i noticed at the time there was broken link after broken link...the Kate rule demonstrated in full effect..so many of them wanted to be known, then didn't want to be known!!..

in the early 2000's i was making $$ and i traveled and dressed often...and i recall driving around by myself (which i did for almost 20yrs!) and i kept thinking of how I desperately wished i could talk to people, go to work "this way", i fantasized of renting an apartment and "living there" as a woman... AND STILL I DID NOT CONNECT THE DOTS!!!

anyway....it may help you if you are questioning to think back and try to mine those memories for "data" that can build your confidence that you are thinking straight...