Any idea why that is?

[Simply Joslyn]

I've been thinking quite a bit lately and I'm a bit confused well I'm sure your familiar with the misconception that if your a guy and you want to look like a girl you must be gay, I find that strange to me if you were a guy and you wanted gay guys to find you why look like a girl isn't that a bit counter intuitive? I mean absolutely no offense to those that are gay, I just think that if you go through the full process to look like a girl you aren't looking for gay men to notice you correct?
Anyway I just had to ask and want to know what people think and why they think this is?

Oh my apologies to the tgs I understand that for you its quite a different case I'm not necessarily in for the entire womanly experience even though the thoughts buzz around my insomniac head like every other thought if I would enjoy being a girl the rest of my time but I've had my revelations quite too late so I suppose my minds been bent to the public form if that makes any sense, anyway you surpass me in the ladylike department and I cower before your might

[geri-tg.]

I agree though many of us are T.G.

[AllieSF]

Logic goes out the door when someone is confronted with something so new and different to their own world of experience (or lack thereof) and knowledge. However, being on the other side and being more logical, I think that it relates to some of the early depictions of gay men as being effeminate, and the way that anyone who showed effeminate characteristics when younger tended to get picked on and called gay. It is an easy correlation when looked at that way, though neither situation is necessarily true.

[Karren H]

When young I struggled with wondering why I wasn't gay if I liked to dress like a woman.. And at the time the logic worked for me. Not knowing a lot about gays or myself for that mater.

[Edyta_C]

I agree with you but... The theory is that the CD male is hiding his gayness (from himself) by pretending to be female. The only thing close about this is there is often things we are or have hidden. But personally I think this idea is slightly wacky. It more logic goes out the door when some one is confronted with a CD or TS person.

Edy

[sterling12]

Well, if you MUST be Gay if you put on women's clothes; your probably going to be very disappointed when you try and find a Gay Guy for a date! Gay Males are attracted to other males. They are in love with masculinity! They are attracted to masculinity.

Now a huge proportion of The Rest of The Population may believe we are Gay. But if we are, we're not being very successful at it! If you asked "Admirers," about their "flavor," they would declare themselves Straight about 99% of the time. Logical Response to your inquiry, "You can be Gay & transgendered if you want to be, just don't be expecting a lot of Dates with Gay Guys."

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Michelle 2]

I gave this question some thought and came to the conclusion no one really cares. In todays world it is acceptable to be gay or lesbian and even married to the same sex in many places. Of course this was a hard drawnout battle for the gay community for there civil rights and they earned it. If we all go out and do what the gay community has accomplished we will have the recognition we deserve also. The trans movement is already moving forward with legislative protections and transwoman as models and beauty pagent contestants. Now we just need famous movie stars, entrepenurs and authors to bring us into the mainstram. I feel it is only a matter of time girls there are millions of us living on this marble.

Michelle

[KimberlyJean]

I actually understand how someone could come to that conclusion. If you want to look like a woman and act like a woman, a woman would want a man. So 2 + 2 = man. But they fail to see in our case that 2 + 2 doesn't equal 4.
For me it is more like emulating what you love, I love everything about women and just want to be like them.

[Barbara Ella]

This has always been an interesting question, and it is near the top when the wife is told you are a cross dresser...Are you gay? To a hetero sexual, it just did not wash. I get the idea of hiding being gay behind panties and skirts, but which is frowned on more in today's society, being a gay man or a cross dresser. Which one would give you the most internal stigma? What we do brings up so many questions, it is no wonder why we are so confused at times.

So, just pull up the big girl panties, and charge ahead with life.

Barbara

[Deanna Jeanine]

It never ceases to amaze me why it is so hard for folks to understand. I love women & I love women's clothes & I love wearing women's clothes. None of the preceding makes me want to have sex with a man. Is that really so hard to comprehend?

[Emily]

I've been thinking quite a bit lately and I'm a bit confused well I'm sure your familiar with the misconception that if your a guy and you want to look like a girl you must be gay, I find that strange to me if you were a guy and you wanted gay guys to find you why look like a girl isn't that a bit counter intuitive? I mean absolutely no offense to those that are gay, I just think that if you go through the full process to look like a girl you aren't looking for gay men to notice you correct?
Anyway I just had to ask and want to know what people think and why they think this is?

I don't have a real answer but if I had to guess then I'd say if someone wants to try to look like a girl then that would imply that they would want to try to pick up on men since women are attracted to men. Or else if you try to look like a woman then still be attracted to women that would imply to other women that you are gay, if conforming to female logic. Again, this is no real answer based on no real proof, just my best accurate guess.

[Veronica27]

A gay man is looking for a man, not a man looking like a woman, in most cases. Similarly, a straight woman is looking for a man, not a man looking like a woman, in most cases. As a crossdresser, it does not seem like you are enhancing your opportunities in the romance department by crossdressing whether you are straight or gay. Granted, there are individuals of both sexes and both sexual persuasions who are intrigued by a crossdressing males, but they are very much in the minority.

Crossdressing may have sexual implications for the crossdresser, but it is usually for his own satisfaction, and he is very fortunate if he finds a partner who shares his desires. Perhaps everybody places too much emphasis on any perceived sexual implications of crossdressing. There are far too many explanations of possible other reasons for any individual to want to crossdress that have nothing to do with sexual practices. The gay stereotype can create difficulties for the straight crossdresser, but we don't help our cause if we obsess over it. Our actions speak much louder than anybody's suppositions.

Veronica

[sometimes_miss]

Just as there are women who desire men in less than full macho mode, there are men who desire other men who are effeminate. It's a widely varied world.

[kimdl93]

please don't cower You're a very attractive young person and should be quite confident about your ability to present persuasively. OK, now to the the question. The spurious association between CDing and homosexuality may be as old as humanity. Its just an incorrect assumption. As you point out,though, its counterintuitive. Gay men are attracted to men, with some exceptions I suppose. There's no reason or benefit in dressing up as a woman if one is seeking male companionship. Having spent a few evenings in TG friendly gay bars, I can attest to the fact that gay men were simply not interested. I was never hit on by a guy even once...but oddly enough I was hit on by several women. Go figure.

[Cheryl T]

When young I struggled with wondering why I wasn't gay if I liked to dress like a woman.. And at the time the logic worked for me. Not knowing a lot about gays or myself for that mater.

Me too, seems that is a commonality for many of us.

I remember a saying from when I was about 18 and we were all called TV's.... "Too much man for the straights, Too much woman for the gays".
Perplexing isn't it?

[Beth Wilde]

Just to put a different view out there..... I'm a gay man who loves to dress, my partner is a gay man who loves to dress (lucky, eh?), and we love each other however we are dressed. For me, I enjoy knowing the guy has a softer side but he absolutely does have to be a man under the clothes for me!

[Kate Simmons]

I dunno but it doesn't help the misconception when super drag queens are crowned as "Miss Gay..(insert local area name)..". That is probably one reason it is perpetuated.

[katie_barns]

A gay man is looking for a man, not a man looking like a woman, in most cases. Similarly, a straight woman is looking for a man, not a man looking like a woman, in most cases.

Very true statement

Sexual Identity and Sexual attraction are 2 completely different things. To enjoy crossdressing and expressing a feminine image has nothing to do with sexual ordination.
This is the most common misconception. Unfortunately most people don't understand this. There is no one fits all when it comes to things of this nature. Some CD's are gay, or Bi, but no more than anyother group.

When dressed I love getting attention from men and women not because I want to have sex with the men; but it's a confirmation of my image I am presenting. Ok and maybe a free drink now and then.

[KellyJameson]

Your question is supremely difficult to answer and one that I have struggled with for years and still do.

I do not consider myself logical because I do not like linear thinking but unfortunately it is difficult to use words in a fashion other than linear going from point A to B and ect..

So here is my attempt to answer your question..

Start with the design nature uses to sustain mammilian life including humans with the male who because of xy chromosomes produces hormones that shape his brain to be predisposed to certain "male" behaviors. This process is precarious and easily distorted by maternal stress, diet, environmental toxins and chemicals, epigentics, synthetic estrogens that come from countless sources and many other variables resulting in the brain not being fully masculinized creating to separate impulses held in one body.

One impulse is male and this is the impulse to penetrate ( to act on/to enter ) and it is territorial wanting to control resources for the expression of the desire to penetrate (copulate) and you see this with men competing with other men for the attention of females. It is the pure expression of the power of being one, of being alone acting on the environment in competition ( autonomy comes first, (me first than others)

Than there is the other impulse which is "to be penetrated" ( to bring inside yourself )(to attract for the purpose of being entered) ( to use by being used, first others than me) and autonomy comes second because it needs another for its expression.

In general look at the differences between how men compete with men, it is usually open but sometimes hidden versus how woman compete with woman, it is usually hidden but sometimes comes out into the open. (the individual as one in relation to everyone else versus the individual as part of a group as relation to self)

Being CD/TG in my opinion is having to opposite forces in conflict within one mind and how you measure the desire to penetrate or be penetrated will tell you where you live on this continuum. I have met many woman who wish they were born with a penis because it is in their nature to "act on" and their sexual behavior reminds me of men, they do not wait they take just as I have met many men who would have been better served being born with a vagina because their power is best expressed through another and is dependant on another.

In my mind it is perfectly natural not to want to be with someone who is gay because you want a man who wants to be with a woman (you) and not another man. Your natural energy is to be penetrated but as a woman. This is one of the painful problems of GID because the more extreme you experience it the more likely you will not want sex with a man as a man because your brain is wired to seek out heterosexual men just as a heterosexual woman would. These are just my own opinions and experiences and each person is different but hope my thoughts help.

I wish I could do a better job answering your question but it is difficult to describe two opposite forms of power, how they are blended and how they respond to each other between people and within each person but when you understand the patterns everything starts to make sense. What helped me was thinking in terms of Yin and Yang, the duality of the feminine and masculine and forgetting about what someone has between their legs because it goes way beyond that and ultimately is the pure expression of the mind that was created by the brain shaped by environment but than goes beyond it to search for its own voice.

[JustineFallow]

And nobody's mentioned the obvious counter-argument: "Explain why leather chaps, which aren't known for being feminine attire, seem to be so popular in gay nightclubs/culture!"

[Kate Simmons]

Just be yourself Hon and everything else will naturally follow.