Or at least, thats what they tell me.
I work under the premise, after reading many a post on here, that being truthful straight up is better than lying. And then, if you choose to wait, when in the best time to say anything? First date? Second? No, for me, I find that after I build a good rapport going with the woman I want to date, I tell them. I don't show them, I don't go dressed up, I simply start a conversation about judgmental people and slowly lead into it.
Well, sadly, this came back and exploded in my face good. This girl I've liked, for years, finally single and seems to like me despite me being a huge nerd, we flirt like crazy people. We chat at all hours. Finally, I asked her about how she felt about crossdressers. How judgmental would she be if someone she dated turned out to be one? "It's just not my cup of tea", was her response, and I withdrew. Slowly, I stopped talking with her, didn't really go out of my way to explain why. Might have been a dick move, sure, but if there is no future, why continue?
Finally, she calls me on it. And I told her. I have a rule that if someone asks me, straight out if I crossdress, I won't lie. I just ask the people who do know, well, to zip it. I introduce them to others who do so they have an outlet to chat with, if they need to. Or they can talk to me. So, she's quiet for a bit, starts asking little questions. I get hopeful she's changing her mind. And for a few days, it felt like she did. But finally, she says to me, "I just dont know if i could handle that. Its a little to much baggage but i mean we can for sure be friends and what not".
....
Really? Too much baggage? For who? I'm not some pervert who stalks the streets, I'm not some freak of nature. I'm just a guy, a wierd one but just a guy none the less, who occasionally wears lady things because it helps me calm down or relax. Makes me feel good about myself. It was something she'd never have to see, nor interact with unless she wanted to. However, it WAS something that was part of me and wouldn't go away.
This isn't the first time this has happened, either. The last few girls my friends have tried to set me up with, who all know, come to find out their friends aren't as open and non-judgmental as they believed. I don't blame them, there is no blame to put anywhere. Just shitty luck. But I mean, I get it's something you wouldnt really know what to do with, or how to interact with it. Fine. I accept that. But there are guys who knock around women, treat them like garbage and girls would go and stay with them. The hell? Actually the girl who called it baggage actually just DID come from a relatonship where the guy would beat her. Almost daily. To the point where if I said Hi to them when they came into where I worked, when they got home, he'd hit her. Which is exactly why I had some police come to my door a few weeks later when I jumped him him the alley in a ski mask and beat him so bad he couldn't even summon up enough strength to press charges. But I digress.
Is it really fair to judge someone on wearing clothes that aren't made for them when during the judgment, the girl is wearing a guy's hoodie, baggy pants and a cap? Double standards suck, the dating world sucks. I'm just going to buy another cat.