Gals, how does your fella feel about you becoming feminine?

[Krazee]

The main reason I ask this is my fella has said he like me for being a man. Now I have shaved legs, and talk about other girly things, he isn't sure how far he can accept where I'm potentially going.

[StarrOfDelite]

You don't really supply enough facts to answer the question. However, I am inferring that you are a genetic man who is in a relationship with another man, and, I am also inferring that you were presenting yourself as a gay man to him during the inception of the relationship, and not did not identify yourself as a M2F crossdresser. If those inferences are correct, I suspect that you should lay things out to him plainly and simply about where you are "potentially going." Almost every bisexual crossdresser, and I am one, who has posted on this forum has stated the same conclusion, most gay men are not interested in crossdressers for physical or psychological companionship. Almost by definition, gay men are interested in men, not women or men presenting themselves as women. There is at least one segment of the Alice in Genderland blog which devotes itself to the issue, and Dr. Novicky describes the frustrations of the situation as well or better than anyone can do. If my inferences are incorrect, I apologize for my mistake.

[Vickie_CDTV]

I am a bit confused, are you a TV/TS in a gay relationship with another male, and you did not disclose that you are trans to him from the beginning of your relationship?

[TxCassie]

Krazee, I was at first too, confused at your post, and I'm a gay man, Ha! But I do understand your dilemma Kraze. I think you need to take some time for yourself and forge a vision of where you "are going with this". You don't have to make long term decisions but you should define for yourself where you are today, your desires, your feelings, your hopes, aspirations today. Next, think of the possibilities for yourself in relations to your life. Then, sit down as a male to your partner. I say this, because it sounds you entered into the relationship as a male, then give him a bit of fairness and interact with him as a male, at least when you speak to the constructs of the relationship. If you want Krazee to be more a open and mainstay part of your life, let him know. But be ready for his honest response.

For our other TGals, a bit of information. On large scale, crossdressers are frowned upon by many gay men. They simply reject the notion of crossdressing and crossdressers. For many gay men crossdressing represents every bad sterotype a gay man is tagged, a sissy, weak, wants to be a girl, is less than a man, etc...
For many gay men, the fact they desire masculinity as their sexual object violates the very essence of heterosexual manhood, thus, they reject anything feminine being associated to their person. The "Drag Queen" is a totally different phenomenon. The Drag Queen is an exaggeration, an illusion, and ultimately a performer and as such has a popular place within the gay community. For many, once the show is over, the Drag Queen will change into their male clothes and be perfectly male and masculine and happy as such, with no desire to be feminine. The crossdresser is non of these attributes. We are true to ourselves en femme.

So, honey, first, be honest with yourself in where "you're going with this" Even if you don't have all the answers, you do have the answers for today and that's all you really need for now. Then, be honest with him, and give him some time to come to grips with it all. You may be surprised, you may not. He can only do what he feels can handle and is willing to deal with in his relationship.

I hope for the best for both of you. For, each person is deserving to be happy in their relationship.

Cassie.

[Krazee]

Thanks for your updates. Nasically I am in agay relationship and when we first got together I was mainly dressed in drab, but enjoyed occassionally dressing. As time has gone on, the urge has become stronger. Yes I shave my legs, keep my toes painted and been growing my hair longer, but surely it can't be that bad for him.