Why do you want to?

[Kate Simmons]

My next logical subject question is why do You feel like you want to look and be like a woman? What is it you perceive about women that you want to be like them? Is it something mysterious or something ordinary or a combination of the two? We seem to be unique individuals who usually begin by emulating girls and women but if we get in touch with the feelings we come to being our own person and expressing our feelings in a way that is pleasing and comfortable to us. Why is it that we want to do this? I know sometimes it may be a fetish and done for pleasure but for others it is something else entirely. Does this bring us closer to women and people in general? Motivations vary from person to person. What do you feel yours is?

[kimdl93]

The ultimate "why" for a transgendered person. I know I am fundementally the same person wearing male clothes as when I'm en femme. So why dress otherwise? I certainly like the clothes, I know I enjoy presenting the illusion that I'm a female, and I believe that by presenting as a woman, I'm bringing my inner workings and exterior into closer conformity. That last element seems to resolve the conflict I've harbored within for most of my life.

[sonna]

there is just something so satisfying. maybe even a stress relief no matter bad my day,week or month is
dressing up makes me feel better.

[JenniferR771]

I cannot even begin to explain it, Kate. I am a crossdresser. I love to wear women's clothes. And hair, and makeup and pretty, cute shoes, especially tall sexy heels. I am sure I was born this way. Why do women like high heels? (At least for special occasions.)

Its something inside of me. Brain sex. Why do I like women? Say as compared to hunky-looking men? Or as compared to a curvy ewe? Or a slender, but young and svelte elm tree? Nothing against Ulmus americanus. Something inside my head decides. I love the way they sway in the wind, though.

Did you ever look at porn when the women's faces were plain, or their hair was a mess--me neither. It just doesn't work.

[suzy1]

I don’t think this question applies to some of us does it?

I don’t want to or not want to. It’s just a part of me. It’s who I am. Its not a lifestyle choice.

[Marleena]

Another great question Kate!

In my case I'm not trying to emulate them, I'm being myself. Due to life circumstances I can only be me part time. That said there is lots to learn about being female after being raised male and living as one for decades. In my case it's a need not a want.

[suchacutie]

Kate, I didn't want to. I spent 55 years just being a guy and thought that was just fine.

And then my wife and I were just kidding around...no intent at all...but there I was in clothes of hers that she was likely to discard and, as luck would have it, fit me as I had lost a bunch of weight just before that point. A bit more joking and a few more of her things and suddenly we both knew something had changed. She just blurted out "we need to buy you a dress".

So why did it continue at that point? This one is pretty simple at one level: We both wanted to know who the devil Tina is!!! Clearly this feminine part of me was there, had always been there, and was not likely to go away. What part has Tina played in our lives? What part will she play? What is she like? What interests her? The list goes on and on.

We had discovered a new person and it was important to know all about her. It still is important. So, we knew we needed to let her develop and we've helped her to do that. After 6 years the journey is very much not over, but is only beginning.

[Karren H]

If I knew.... I wouldn't be hanging around here. I'd be writing a self help book and makin a friggin fortune!! Lol.

[Kate Simmons]

If I knew.... I wouldn't be hanging around here. I'd be writing a self help book and makin a friggin fortune!! Lol.

You could do it Karr. Many folks look up to you and appreciate your example Hon, including myself. Sure life would have gone on without knowing you but it wouldn't be as much fun.

[Nikki A.]

Good question, I for myself don't wish to become a woman but I do dress and I do feel very comfortable dressing as such. I do think I have a strong fem side that I need to express to keep a balance.
I do like the clothes, I do like ability to look be able to alter my look using make up and undergarments. Best of both worlds to me would be able to wear whatever I want, but still be me. Unfortunately I don't feel comfortable, nor do I think society in general feels comfortable with the "man in a dress" so when I do dress it is either mildly androgenous or dressed fuly enfemme.

[Debra Russell]

All of the above and .. uh I don'no why can't explain - just do and enjoy .....................Debra

[Stephanie47]

Personally, I believe my inner soul is accepting of being a man and a woman. If I recall my biology, sex is determined during the course of fetal development and not at inception of life. I was raised as all boy. I did all the scrappy things little boys do. I played sports. I got into trouble. I liked girls, exclusively and still do. Frankly, I think the scale of my soul tipped into balance somewhere along the line. I fought against cross dressing. I viewed myself with self loathing, disgust, all the negative thoughts society told me to accept. I participated in manly activities. I went to war. I married. I raised a family. Yet, my inner soul encouraged me to accept her presence. No matter what I did as a teenager or young adult, I could never increase muscle mass. I could get really good muscle tone, but, eating a lot of protein and weight lifting did absolutely nothing to increase muscle mass. Slowly she has emerged and co exists with HIM. I like being a male. I like being a female. SHE wants to wear a dress! So, why should I deny her?

[Kate Simmons]

I can't deny that I like looking pretty, in fact I love it and actually have a lot of different femme looks. I do not despise my looks as a guy though. To me it's definitely an art form as a block of marble. The sculpture is in there it just needs to be brought out and honed by artistic expression. Somewhere along the line something happens though which I have yet to explain. I actually fit into the skin of my own creation. Not necessarily as a different person but a female expression of myself. Self made clone? Who knows. All I know is I get my money's worth when I undergo this process and have fun with it.

[BRANDYJ]

I had spent a good part of my life trying to figure out why. I have some theories and opinions as to why, but I'll spare you the book iot would take to write it. I will say that in being TG/CD, I honestly think it made me a better man...a better person. I truly believe it gave me a much higher respect and regard for women then the typical non-CD man.

[Cheryl T]

The ultimate "why" for a transgendered person. I know I am fundementally the same person wearing male clothes as when I'm en femme. So why dress otherwise? I certainly like the clothes, I know I enjoy presenting the illusion that I'm a female, and I believe that by presenting as a woman, I'm bringing my inner workings and exterior into closer conformity. That last element seems to resolve the conflict I've harbored within for most of my life.

I agree with Kim. It brings about a balance that I achieve no other way.
Also it's not that I want to be "like" them. In many ways I Am like them, but can only demonstrate that in this way. For me it's not emulation, it's self-expression.

[phylisanne]

this question has been asked thousands of times and i myself still dont know.we have many guests coming to our meet up meetings here in new york and they always ask how we got started and what prompted it.when i am getting dressed i am in my feminine mode and it just feels right ,like the inner woman of me comes out of her cocoon.

[Simply Joslyn]

Its a tough question, I remember my first urge to go find some stuff, my older sister and mom had just finished putting some old clothes in my closet (what do I need a closet for anyway I'm a guy) and something just said in my head go do it, it may have been me remembering when I exchanged clothes with my twin a couple times when we were younger and playing around, but something there just clicked and it started a long string of fighting with myself and loving how I looked, I purged quite a few times in an attempt to rid myself of this "disease" as I thought and eventually I gave in and couldn't fight it and began to open my mind to something more something that could have stayed hidden but didn't want to, I felt beautiful, I felt better about myself, and I felt like someone I wanted to be versus the timid tall guy noone wanted to talk to, but even if they tried I couldn't bring myself to trust most people. Nowadays I'm alot more communicative, and accepting of others, so I suppose Joslyn made me instead of the other way around. Of course it could also be that I see woman as works of art, rounded and curved, like a fine vase, aswell as the clothes they wear making each one more beautiful the flow the shape and the vivid colors showing their personality. What do guys have to show they're personality? their cars, maybe... I don't think so, don't drive a souped up prius eater or suv, your a wuss get out of her. Men remind me of the music video for pink floids the wall, all the children with masks that look alike showing how they all must be uniform, just saying as a guy you can either be manly or your screwed up in the publics eye. Ok my little rant is over, just trying to say when I look like Joslyn it doesn't feel so much as a mask to hide behind as a piece of me thats there to let me be myself and not have to worry what the world thinks of Josh.

[Antoinette]

I respect women a lot and most definitely look up to them. I was raised by women with no father figure so I couldn't really relate to any males. I had to teach myself to be a man. I kind of look at it as dressing up as your favorite character for whatever occassion. Let's say batman. Why would anyone dress up as him, well because they look up to him, they want to be him, they can relate, there's so many reasons. Well for me dressing as woman has been like that. I love how women present themselves and express themselves. I've also grown to accept my feminine side and let her be a part of me. It may sound weird but those are my reasons.

[Antoinette]

Where in new york do you meet, if you don't mind me asking?

[busker]

Kate, funny you should ask. It is something I've thought about for a long time, would love to understand the origins but I accept that there is something that motivates that is beyond my complete control. as a kid, I never dressed up for halloween, I have absolutely no theatrical abilities, I'm a pi$$-poor liar so trying to pull off something like passing for a woman is totally beyond my comprehension. The motivation began in my teens 13 or so, and it came like a flash and eventually I was caught in a round-about way. That stopped it cold--for a while--but the die had been cast either by psychology or hormones, and I always had an eye for women's clothing. It only hit me recently that a whole life of shopping in stores started via the women's clothing aisles. I dressed a few times while married but it was not a regular part of my life. I did all the guy stuff, though sports interests eluded me , and does to this day--like watching paint dry.
When I found this site, I had already come to terms in my mind with this thing, I wasn't desperately seeking to see if I was the only one in the world like me. I grew up before Christine Jorgenson has her surgery and certainly saw crossdressing in the movies later on. Some years ago I had cancer surgery which did screw my hormones even more giving me gynecomastia. Everything was boosted at that point, but internally/emotionally I am NO different. I dress now all day, wearing stuff that blends, no wig or anything else--so I look like most women in pants, shirt, bra and jacket to cover the obvious. I don't have two personalities, wouldn't want to have, but I do consider myself generally more "sensitive" than a lot of men, etc. I'd just as soon be one way or the other. I'm more inclined to attribute psychological origins rather than chemistry which would be difficult to prove at best. There is an odd peacefulness dressing but I think I would have no problem putting my stuff away if I had a woman companion because the clothes in my case don't make the person. However, with one foot in the grave and the other already on the banana peel, it is nothing I am seeking.

[Frédérique]

My next logical subject question is why do You feel like you want to look and be like a woman? What is it you perceive about women that you want to be like them? Is it something mysterious or something ordinary or a combination of the two?

[SIZE="2"]I just want to wear their interesting clothes and feel different, in a way distancing myself from the reality of being male. I used to think that females were very mysterious creatures, but, now that I’ve been “run over” by a few of them, I have been cured of that. I often wonder why I still wear female clothes, and construct a female appearance, since I have re-thought, or retro-fitted, my original intentions. My perceptions about women are now nearly equal to my perceptions about men, and, if they are outsiders, they are ALL against me. I now dress to be something I cannot be, namely an approximation of a fictitious idea, or a mystery, wrapped in an enigma, smothered in self-imposed ideals I can never live up to. It’s not “Female or bust,” but more like, “Let’s put on this dress, or this skirt, or these shoes, and snuggle up with something forbidden.” I need some comfort these days, so I keep re-shaping myself to fit the clothes I love to wear – it’s still FUN, I'm pleased to say...
[/SIZE]

[Sandy Michaels]

when i first started out as a kinky thing i did part of my sex life, which at the time i was in a destructive way. the usual sex, drugs, alcohol, violence. now that i've calmed down a bit. i still have stress and issues to deal with. dressing is my escape and therapy, and its one of the best things for me, along with this site. once my problems are fixed i wont need to dress, but i will. it's part of who i am now.

[STACY B]

Hell this is an easy one ,,They got all the good shoes thats why .

[Organza]

I've been thinking about this for fifty years. In the past two years I think I've reached a partial understanding, but really it applies only to myself, because my style of CD is in a minority here. Mine has a fairly strong masochistic component, but here's the twist. Somehow I feel that women are good and men are not. There are some parts of me that believe that women are "better," based on various kinds of logic and evidence (male strength is an atavistic holdover from the caveman era, men stink, men commit more crimes, the males of many species are useless drones, etc.), but I don't think the feeling is entirely logical. What I feel when I try to look like a girl is that I'm approaching the state of being "good enough." If I'm being a slave as well (doing tedious housework, following orders, etc.), then I'm even closer to being "good." Being abused for the slightest mistakes, and for not being an actual girl, reinforces this even further. I especially enjoy being punished if it's unfair, excessive, and capricious. I suppose I'm really trying to please someone out of my past, probably my mother, although I have no feeling when I dress up that my mother is involved at all. In fact she never ordered people around and she was a wonderful mother, so that line of reasoning doesn't really make sense, but that doesn't mean it's untrue. The bizarre irony is that I'd rather be in this situation, always trying and failing to emulate a girl, than be an actual girl, which would do away with all the fun And it would also end my wonderful marriage...
Lisa

[Julia_in_Pa]

Well that's easy, I'm intersexed and I transitioned five and a half years ago so I better look like what I am.


Julia