Of all the adventures in my fertile brain that I want to write about in the next year, this is not the one. We never dream of this day. First Karren and now me.
Thursday I decided to live dangerously and wear my ladies diamond pinky band to work. Have before so it's no big deal. When I leave work I took it off and put it in my pocket. Friday morning I went to get it out of my pocket to wear again....it is NOT THERE !!! I searched everywhere...no luck. I am praying as I go to work that it is lost anywhere but at home.
Friday midnight she (wife) comes into the den and waves the ring in my face (OH CRAP !).....Who's the other woman !!! (Very loudly). I did the what's that number and got you know what this is. She found it behind the toilet (why didn't I look there....I thought I did?) I tried the "there is no other woman honey" but she wasn't listening. She stomped off to the bedroom and shut the door. CRAP AGAIN !
Saturday morning she came out and announced that it could be my daughter's who was there a couple days back. She heads for the phone and starts dialing.....I recognize the number....my daughter's. Okay, if this is gonna happen I don't want the kids knowing so I took the phone from her and hung it up.
"IT'S MINE."
I can't believe I just said that. I'm now whispering a prayer to be spared a painful death.
"Yours?"
"Yes....MINE."
She stomped again around the house gathering her purse and keys. She leaves. My heart is about to pound it's way out of my chest. Quick emailed Karren and told her I was caught. She thinks I'm joking. Great. Now what do I do. More praying for God to keep this from becoming a divorce. How much do I tell her? I'm feeling guilty now....because my toenails are painted. Oh geesh. What timing.
When she gets back she asks me to join her in the den. Okay, here we go.
"Your ring huh?"
"YES."
"where did you get it?"
"eBay."
"How much did you pay for it?"
" $9 plus a couple for shipping." (What is all this ???)
"Liar."
"$9 "
"For a diamond ring huh?"
"Yes, the lady said she thought it was Zirconium."
"So you're buying my Christmas present on eBAY huh?"
At this point I'm starting to figure out she and I are on two pages and her page looks much better than mine. So I decide to read my lines off her script. I confessed to being on eBAY again, to being so cheap as to shop for her there, to keeping secrets from her, to trying to hide the face that the ring was mine........and then she put the ring on and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
And the only hurricane in the states was Wilma.
I am still not believing how close that was.
Emily Ann