I think its like Alzheimer's, if you think you have it you dont. If your thinking about becoming a TS you can't.
I think its like Alzheimer's, if you think you have it you dont. If your thinking about becoming a TS you can't.
Well for me I had been crossdressing for awhile and was a full time woman, then I decided to get the sex change done and become a TS. I don't even think twice about it anymore, I am now a woman and wouldn't want to be a man again.
I am who I am... no more and no less... I have spent most of my life wishing I was someone else and not really appreciating who I am... I am now trying to get those years back by finally being me. I am Kaz and he/she is a nice place to be!
Kaz xx
__________________________________________________ ____________
This Woman Within is Flying without Wings
I can try and offer a outlook on things..This all can definitely be confusing for some so you are not alone.You just gotta do what you can handle and what best fits your life.
I agree with some things here.For me it was never about clothes.For a long time I did not even dress.Those are things very far from what the real issue is.Sometimes I see the real issue has become nothing more than a idea instead of the roots of all of it.People love to say your not real if your not running out and transitioning when no pill or body modification makes you transexual.If somebody is transitoning its because they were transexual before that.People say that gender is up there and not down there which needs to be looked at and understood for the words they are actually saying.If we are who we are that is really the big picture.Not what people think you should be doing. There are some of us who feel very different from others.Ive listened to a lot of girls and feel what they say. Theres people that have no idea whats its like to feel like nothing you could ever do would make things right. I cant even express what that feels like..People think its so simple and clean cut.I dont like men just like there are women who dont like men but that puts me in a tough spot being born the way I was.I dont know where it leaves me..There is such inner turmoil and things to deal with that transitioning alone is not the answer to the problem.On the other side of that,people have familys,jobs,lots of things to take into account. I havnt even been able to get the hair off my face yet. Things take money and if your life puts you in a position where you may be trying to transition on the street,well,thats a lot to think about. What kind of road is that.
Ive seen it all in my short time around.People with ideas,people who say things I only see as tools to validate themselves. Its all fine.People are people.They can take all they want but this is something nobody can ever take away.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
You're born TS. You don't decide to become TS.
You can be TS and not transition...
EDIT: And Nathalie reminded me with her following post that you can be CD and transition to live full time pretending to be a woman... but I'm sure that's pretty rare.
Last edited by Bree-asaurus; 05-16-2012 at 09:42 PM.
I started dressing when I was 6 or 7, dressed in secret up to my 20's , tried to quit, started again a few years ago, and ended up in nearly every single place in my locale venturing out as a woman. And by all accounts, I should be transsexual, but I'm not.
Bree above me is right. However there many confused folk who can't tell, and are unsure. I say this because I know about 5 people personally who decided to transition, did HRT for a while, then gave it up and de-transitioned. It happens.
That's not really fair. Seeing something as a "deformity" is not necessarily a good place to be at, whether it's your nose or your penis or a mole. I'm TS and I went through a couple phases of hating my genitalia and came pretty close to ending up in the emergency room, and I really needed a therapist more than I needed SRS.Originally Posted by MandyGG
As a TS woman who is very attracted to women, it really is difficult to sort things out mentally, and it's certainly not unreasonable to be hesitant to do anything to screw up your sexual relations with women. Of course, if you are a TS lesbian you will eventually come to the realization that you need to be with another lesbian. But for me, I knew I was TS for many years and was mostly held back by my desire to have normal relationships with women and my inexplicable inability to accept that I was a lesbian and understand there are plenty of lesbians in the world.
I agree with you, but a lot of people have a knee-jerk reaction based on semantics here. You don't "decide" to be transsexual. You decide to transition. But for many people their thought process is, "Do I repress this silliness and try to be a normal guy, or do I choose to do something about it and be a freak?" And that's a tough place to be at. And in their mind it's "deciding to be transsexual."
I know exactly where you're coming from. I spent years thinking, "I'm just uncomfortable in my own skin. I'm crazy. I'm obsessing over gender issues, but who's to say if I transition that anything will be better?" And even when I first went full-time, there were months of my thinking, "This is awesome, but this is stressful! And what do people really think when they look at me? Is this really what I should be doing?" But eventually I realized things were so much better.
Don't spend too much time worrying about if you're really TS. If you're on this forum, and you enjoy looking like a woman, and if you've had (or would really like to have) permanent facial hair removal, and if you've laid awake wishing you could live as a woman, and if the idea of being accepted as female by society would be a dream come true, then you're probably TS.
I was with a woman who decided she wasn't a lesbian, so I had to semi-de-transition into an androgynous state for her. Then we ended up breaking up anyway, and I needed to move and my job prospects were pretty limited so I had to cut my hair and totally de-transition. And that really put things in perspective. Because being a guy sucks.
Sorry to ramble on here, but there are two things I see a ton of around here:
One, the semantics. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're born TS. Whatever. People try to out-tranny each other by shouting how they knew when they were 6 months old that they needed to chop off their c*** and put a daisy in their hair. I was just born me. Pretty much without gender. I've come to realize that things fit so much better as female and things were often an awkward struggle trying to fit in as male. But I'm still just me.
And two, people get comfortable with things. Change is difficult. I accidentally stumbled across a bunch of people I went to high school with 15 years ago, and most of them had the same haircut and just looked older and 50 lbs. heavier. And there are a lot of guys still rockin' the goatee well past its era. But that's what they're used to. If people can't change their damn hair, what hope do we have? It takes a lot of strength to turn your world upside-down, and a lot of people convince themselves that they're just crossdressers to save their marriage and/or make things simpler.
But being TS doesn't necessarily mean your strong. How many people do you see every day who really care how they present themselves? There are probably tons of people who would be happier as another gender but they just don't care that much and it probably barely bothers them. It's not whether or not we're trans, it's whether or not we care enough to turn our lives upside-down. And what makes us crazy is not that we're the wrong gender, it's that we care enough about our gender to want to bother changing it.
I've dated some pretty hot women. I was a pretty attractive guy. I went from there to dating an overweight not-so-attractive woman who I fell totally in love with and who supported me through my transition, and then turned around and cheated on me and called me a freak. She called me a f*g in a dress -- and I rarely wore dresses!
I mean, I can't help thinking, "Come on! I've been with so many hotter chicks than you! And now I'm the freak? And I'm being dumped by you?" Obviously that's shallow and obnoxious, but I can't help thinking it. I'm just saying it sucks. It sucks being trans and having to choose between being a normal guy and a woman who may or may not be accepted as a woman and may or may not be able to get a job and may or may not be able to get a date.
In the end we have to forget about that and be ourselves and everything will work out so much better, but -- getting back on topic -- we have to work hard to try to see things from another person's perspective when they come to the forum and are maybe hurting and confused and asking the wrong questions.
Last edited by Raquel June; 05-16-2012 at 10:26 PM.
Nice to see you again, Raquel!
And thanks for saying the above. It's true that sometimes we just need to be able to read between the lines.
But let me ask you ... (this is a general question and not about the OP) you've come across CDers in pink fogs who also enjoy looking like a woman, would like to have permanent facial hair removal in order to pass better, would like to grow breasts, wish they could live as a woman, who are not TS? Does wishing all those things mean that someone is TS? I'm interested in your opinion. Does having a sexual motive or not determine the difference?
Last edited by ReineD; 05-16-2012 at 10:56 PM.
Reine
Preisely. It's like Mr. Ollivander says in the HP novels, "the wand chooses the wizard, not vice versa."
IMO Transexuality is something you KNOW, not something you worry about.
If its been there from an early age and you hate your penis, then I say youre probably transexual.
If you 'dont mind' your penis then get therapy.
If you like you penis then stay CD/TV.
thats the long and short of the matter.
The way I see it, it comes down to dysmorphia, if you dont feel right in the skin youre in, Im mean WRONG in the skin youre in, then you need an extensive course of hormones and perhaps surgery.
Otherwise, if it keeps you happy, why change anything???
Just my 2 cents
Samantha -x-
Does my own somewhat semi unusual story add anything? For me, crossdressing was/is a physical act that, once undertaken (at age 54, so timidly!) opened a door that I am not sure I would ever have seen otherwise. Now I feel fairly far down the transgender continuum/path, at least in spirit. So it's not about the clothes, or the shopping, or the wig and the makeup and the extra close shave, but those things soothe the gender dysphoria and they work somehow on the spirit/the unconscious...so it's not about the clothes, true, but it's not not about the clothes, either.
elizabethamy
Those are some dangerous ideas you're putting out there.
You can't reduce transsexuality down to how much you like or dislike your penis. There are crazy people who try to cut off their penis who aren't transsexual. And there are transsexual people who are somewhat indifferent to their penis.
And likewise you can't equate how "comfortable you are in your skin" to how much you are or are not transsexual. Because, again, there are a lot of people with issues who are not at all comfortable in their skin who seriously need help but are not transsexual. And there are occasionally people who are absolutely transsexual but their life isn't a mess and they don't hate themselves.
If you want to simplify things, being transgendered is dependant on how much you would rather be another gender. It's not healthy for it to be a total focus on your genitalia or general dysphoria of feeling like you don't have a place in the world.
I disagree. I decided to be TS, I thought to myself, how can i royally **** up my entire world just with words and clothes
here I am! ; )
in all seriousness, there are a LOT of misconceptions about TSes, a lot of bad information out there. Its not about who you want to ****. Its not about hating your penis or loving it its not about clothes but that doesn't mean you can't be all girly girl and love clothes and make up. Its not about a desire to have sex as a woman (or man for F2Ms) though if you are a woman it makes sense that you'd want to have sex as one. In a nut shell, for me, its about having the right body
Last edited by Aprilrain; 05-19-2012 at 07:52 PM.
becoming a transexual is not something you "decide". It is something that is inherent. Sounds like your SO has come to terms with all of this and is willing to let you go, so that you can be who you are. She apparently knows well who she is and what she wants. I suggest go ahead and live your life as you truly desire, your so has also come to terms (let go) in her mind and will deal with the what ever will be will be. Good for her and obviously for you.
April, I know of several folk who started out as crossdressers, then after a few years later, transitioned or are transitioning. The notion that you are born transsexual is probably true, however there are many who don't act on it for various reasons, or act on it later in life. I have quite few friends who transitoned late in life, midlife actually, and from what they say, and from what i've observed, that the midlife transsexualism kicks in like a hyperbolic curve....that is the urges start on a low incline, then gradually begin to rocket up to an almost straight vertical path (the way I hope my 401K savings works).
Last edited by NathalieX66; 05-19-2012 at 11:58 PM.
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