Confused when young

[Jonien]

Many many years ago when little I would prance around in my Mothers shoes and land up with a belting from my Dad.
But when my sister did the same it was ain't she cute.

when Sis tries Mums lipstick she gets shown how to put it on properly.
when I tried it it got scrubbed off with a scrubbing brush.

If I went in my Sisters room just to talk the strap would strike again
but if my Sister came into mine that was OK.

When my Sister wanted to go to dance classes that OK.
but If I wanted I'm a sissy.

[DonnaT]

Definitely not fair Jonien. Does anyone in the family know how you feel now?

[TGMarla]

Being all grown up now, and looking back, and mixing in the way society conditions boys and girls, does this treatment really surprise you? Despite all the stories here about the ladies on this site claiming to have been too tired to shave and slap on some makeup and a wig when they go out wearing skirts and heels, with all apologies to the one who actuall posted pictures of it here, society in general has a swift and violent response to gender bending (outside of Hollywood or the recording industry). Your parents were only responding to their own cultural conditioning. Sad, isn't it? Anyway, I hope you're in a better place now. Pretty face, by the way.

[Jonien]

Definitely not fair Jonien. Does anyone in the family know how you feel now?

My Wife and Son and my friends But I haven't told the rest of my formerly as yet my Mum & Dad have both past on.
My brothers and sisters have not yet been told as I don't see them much although I want to tell them I don't know how as yet.

[Jonien]

Being all grown up now, and looking back, and mixing in the way society conditions boys and girls, does this treatment really surprise you? Despite all the stories here about the ladies on this site claiming to have been too tired to shave and slap on some makeup and a wig when they go out wearing skirts and heels, with all apologies to the one who actuall posted pictures of it here, society in general has a swift and violent response to gender bending (outside of Hollywood or the recording industry). Your parents were only responding to their own cultural conditioning. Sad, isn't it? Anyway, I hope you're in a better place now. Pretty face, by the way.

It Is sad with all the conditioning and brain washing you loose your own identity and live the the life that other dictate

[mand]

Hello Jonien "A man has to be a man but a woman can be herself", sounds about right doesn't it love
Jonien I've read you're posts and we have spoken a little by PM, I know how you are feeling, we feel the same.
We were born with female minds and souls but nature really screwed up, we were given male bodies so it's not our fault.
However people, familes, parents are only see the physical gender, they can't see the real person inside and for someone who is quite content with there gender they can't really understand people like us.
We are therefore expected to behave in the "appropriate manner" for the gender that they see and understand.

Well I bet we have both towed the line over the years and behaved in the "appropriate" way, haven't we
It seems to me that we have both reached the stage were we have said "hold on a minuite, I only live this life once so I will live it as is it right for me".
We aren't going to be dictated to on how we must live, we have decided to be our true selves.

Jonien you always make sense to me love, it is so unfair .


love mand xxx

[Kimberly]

When my Sister wanted to go to dance classes that OK.
but If I wanted I'm a sissy.

Never had that problem... mind you, never had a sister!

Dancing was fun -- but I was the only guy.

[confused]

My Mom has always saw me as a girl. Growing up I had more dresses in my closet then guy clothes.

[Billijo49504]

As my mother once said, they should tke the wqord fair out of the dictionary. She was very right...BJ.

[darcyann]

Hello

I thank I had a post once that went a long time. Life is not fair we all know that, but we make the choices sometimes bad sometime good. As for me I like to dress and it is so wonderful, and some people dont know I dress. As for us we get kicked down when we wear womens cloths, but if women wear mens cloths they say it is a new fasion statement. So do what you want that is what I say, life is not fair. Do what matters to you.


Love

Darcy Ann

[Elinor]

I askd for lipstick too when I was around three or four.
I was put into a red dress when four.

I enjoy being a secret sissy Janegirl myself.

Pity I can't just go out in a skirt as a guy.

But the world is not fair and never was and never will be, we just have to live with it.

The great thing about the internet is that we now all know we are not alone in being crossdressers.

Yes We Are All NORMAL! Whatever that means.

[Jodi Lynn]

Confussed most of my life as to what I am. Am I a boy or a girl, am I gay or stright, or would I be better off if I wasn't born. To me it is an endless life of confussion.

[Jonien]

Getting back to my childhood days (when today it may be noticed) if one was not what yours piers thought to be normal then you was a mental case and must be locked away.
although I did not understand at the time my parent did know that something was not as it should be at the age of 7 I was sent away to this place that was for my own good, as I was told,. I soon found out that unless I did things right I would have to stay there, looking back now I see this place as an open prison in as much as you were not locked up in a cell but you had no freedom you mind becomes there property do as you are told or feel that stick.
this was a time in my life that I would like to forget but it keeps on coming back I feel this was the time that I learned that showing signs of being my self was bad and grow into what others think I should be.
although through my life I have being crossdressing (this was not a sexual thing more just comfort) It has taken a long long time to shed this cloud in my brain box and with the help of my sisters and friends on hear I have found me the brain washing has gone I am a girl and will be spending the rest of my life as me.
for the first time in my long life I can smile and say look this is who I really am.

[Jamie001]

You can go out in a skirt as a guy. Most of the demons are in our own mind. Please see:

http://www.mensfashionfreedom.bravehost.com/

Jamie

I askd for lipstick too when I was around three or four.
I was put into a red dress when four.

I enjoy being a secret sissy Janegirl myself.

Pity I can't just go out in a skirt as a guy.

But the world is not fair and never was and never will be, we just have to live with it.

The great thing about the internet is that we now all know we are not alone in being crossdressers.

Yes We Are All NORMAL! Whatever that means.

[Jonien]

Confussed most of my life as to what I am. Am I a boy or a girl, am I gay or stright, or would I be better off if I wasn't born. To me it is an endless life of confussion.

Iv'e been cofussed most of my life too I have always been told I do things like a girl and had it playing on my mind one night and I was crying I cryed myself to sleep that night the following day my wife being conserned made an apointment for our docter that was the terning point in my life it's not easy but my mind is my own now and I know where I'm going the boy torment is no longer a problem and I can engoy do the things I like.
like knitting the things I had to do in secret.
there is no him any more.

So may I suggest that you seek out someone to talk to and get help like me just talking to my GP made me ME

[Wendy me]

i always like to hang out with girls when i was young i could go off and do the boy thing but some how i just never felt like i realy fit in .....

[Kim E]

Hi Jonien ~
I think Mand has said it all, so much better than I can find the words to.

For those like us, social conditioning can force us to assume another identity for public survival, but it never quells the desire or the truths we hold inside. So, from our childhood, we lead duel lives, one that we're not and one we truly are. Unfortunately, society dictates the one that society, and parents as well, will accept.

Its very sad to think of the wasted childhoods, wasted years and wasted lives; all because some of us were born the wrong gender.

Mand ~ The more we talk and the more we discover about each other, the more I'm convinced we were truly sisters in a previous life.

Love ~ Kim

[mand]

Awww Kim, from one sister to another ............


Take care and see you soon love ....................


love mand xxx

[Jonien]

as a baby (OK there was a war going on and clothes not easy to get) I was dressed in my sisters handmedowns that was OK I didn't at the time no any difference but then my Dad came back from the war and it all changed I can no longer were what I thought was my clothes but them horrible stuff that didn't fit.
then come Christmas my sister would have all these nice things and I'd get a train set yak what do I want with a train set watch this thing go round and round a track where is the fun in that.
now my sister has a dolls pram and dolls and later a dolls house now that was fun.
well I now have my own dolls house and just finished putting all the lights in and papered all the walls but not made all the carpets yet but the rugs are nearly done and looking good

[Jonien]

My thanks to you for your replies it dose mean a lot to me.




having a lot of time on my hands these days gives me the time to look back as I have always kept my self very busy getting involved with others problems and not allowing my own feelings to show through but now when I look back and think of the past I can see that it was always there.
when my younger sisters where leaving school I was there to help them take them shopping


to get the right clothes for work help them with there makeup and and do there hair but now I look back no I wasn't being a good brother I was doing what I wanted for myself just didn't know it.
Going out with Girls in my teens there was nothing sexual I was not interested in getting them into bed I just wanted to be with them consequently thy never lasted.

[Jamie1]

Christina

It is a tragic situation that had you caught in between two different parents approaches at raising you...with your mother having you in dresses was perhaps a financial issue, hand me downs may have been all the family could afford and not boys clothes; then military Dad comes home and no nonsense there, you were born male, period. No wonder you were confused. At age six for a masquerade party I was forced by my parents to wear my sisters dress, which I didn't like but in my teens I tried on some of my sisters clothes, got caught by my Dad and although he did whack or yell at me, he walked away shaking his head not knowing what to do or make of the situation. The parents didn't realize the effect on us from our experiences, nor did we know the power of the mind to the memory and perhaps the seed that may have been planted.

Back in the 70's when I worked an evening shift, it would take a while for to wind down and when I got home I watched tv and after the Tonight show I saw one night Tom Snyder talking to two women that had transgendered from men and two men that had transgendered from women...the common thread was that all had known around the age of 3 or 4 that they felt they were a men trapped in a womans body or a woman trapped in a man body.

I wouldn't doubt that maybe quite a few of us may have thought about that option, but I know I don't have any serious thought in that direction. I am a hard wired male hetrosexual. I don't know the url but I am sure a search can take you to the Rochester Clinic wherby you can take an online test by answering questions in determining where you are in the scheme of things from cd to are you a candidate for gender reasignment. I just have a fetish fantasy.

Your wife sounds like a great caring lady that did the right thing in directing you for some help and may have saved your life.

Hugs, Jamie