[SIZE=2]Hello everyone.. it’s me haven’t been as active on the site, with only a few comments and pm’s in the past year. Certainly have not dressed enough or taken pics I’m not sure why..maybe it’s the job with many hours and no sight of catching up. Maybe it’s my foolish thinking that I will let it all go (hmmm so why is it in my head all the time ). Or even more foolish, is the thought that I could win over my ex-wife to the point of seeing each other again..wonder how many of us have thought that one before????..[/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]Course, with the idea of the ex accepting this side of me or the issues I have with her are really too deep for any reconciliation. [/SIZE]
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[SIZE=2]So what is this thread really about????? [/SIZE]
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[SIZE=2]I began my Friday evening after work doing what I mostly have been doing for the past year, meeting up with my long time buddy who I have known for about 12 yrs and actually was on the same ship as we cruised out from the west coast back in the ‘80s during our military service. Except he was down below in the air-conditioned spaces, while I was running by behind off topside at a 100+ degrees in the Indian Ocean . [/SIZE]
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[SIZE=2]Our evenings were normally having a few with some various foods at different restaurants or sports bars and talk about this and that…while checking out some lovely ladies (no he does not know about my activities). Yep, like many of us, I see the pretty girl/woman and then I see the outfit Sometimes I have to catch myself as we oogle the ladies and my replies to his comments, at the tip of my tongue I want to say something about the outfit or her makeup..lol. But I fall in line and say something man-ish..which in part is really true on one half of my brain, while the other wall is stuck on her lipstick or eyeshadow.. [/SIZE]
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[SIZE=2]Last night was like any other as we stopped at a sports bar/restaurant where all the waitresses and bartenders are young girls (20-27ish…that is my story and I’m sticking to it.. ) in next to nothing. Two piece swim suits with some being basically thongs, but have a variety of themes, like cavewomen or cammie look. Well, there is a lot to be seen especially if you are seated at the round bar watching the lovely ladies parade by (hmmm what half am I thinking with????)[/SIZE]
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[SIZE=2]One woman caught my buddy’s eyes as she seemed a bit older but very well put together in her two-piece. After our normal comments about her, my buddy (Bill?) says “gosh, it has to be a lot to go through with putting on makeup everyday to look that good”[/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]“uhhhh..what????” was my initial response, but as he expanded on it about time it takes to put it all together just to come show everyone, etc.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]So I thought about it all..and agreed with him that it does take time but some got it down to a science, like driving and putting on mascara J Then I added that some had more natural looks to minimize how long it takes as I pointed this out to him as we looked around. [/SIZE]
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[SIZE=2]Yes, this will get funny so hang in there..[/SIZE]
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[SIZE=2]So my mind is spinning..and I turned the conversation about the themes some of them were portraying and told of past costume parties that I had gone to with my wife at the time. How we wore various costumes such as king and queen, yes I was the king..at least at the time I told of how some did their makeup to fit the costume, etc. [/SIZE]
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[SIZE=2]So I said that one time (in band camp..) a few years ago, a friend and I were going to a costume party for Halloween so she came over to get ready. So I nervously said “you wanna see her?” he nodded yes, typical guy..lol.[/SIZE]
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[SIZE=2]So I showed him a pic of ‘her’ with her back showing in the pic with no face. He was “wow, that is a nice costume, who is she? Is it ‘name’ or who? ” [/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]“No, it’s not her, let me see if I should show you her face” as I was nervously fidgeting with my phone to find a frontal pic and took a deep breath..in the process of deciding to show him. So I took that bold step and showed him.. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]“Hey, she looks very sexy and pretty..who is she???” [/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]“You can’t tell?, really? Look closer..” as I got antsey about it all wondering what I am doing and what his reaction would be…[/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]“No, I don’t know who it is? But she is pretty”[/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]So in my head I’m like ‘come on..get this over with…’ I turn a bit to the side so he can see my shoulder as I pull up my sleeve exposing my tattoo..and I said look at the pic again..Nadda..nothing..the light didn’t come on..[/SIZE]
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[SIZE=2]So I tried another pic of the same fairy outfit and still no go on knowing it was me. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]So I took a deep breath and said “it’s me, dummy”[/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]“REALLY??? Wow..that is cool..really, that is you? You shaved your stash and all? Did the makeup yourself?”[/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]“YES, I SHAVED ALL and no, it’s not easy doing the makeup. Its something I do once in a while.” [/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]“ok, that is cool..”[/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]“What do you think of her? Would you take her out?”[/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]“yes I would. Does your family know or others?”[/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]Told him only a few people and my daughters but not the rest of the family.[/SIZE]
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[SIZE=2]So I showed him a few more pics of me as I listened to his comments..then I sort of started shaking..and fidgeting even more…[/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]“what’s wrong?” he asked. Remember we are in this crowded sports bar and I’m opening this side of my life to him, putting all my chips on the table..so reality was hitting and I was becoming overwhelmed with his reaction..[/SIZE]
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[SIZE=2]“I didn’t think you would be ok with it..thought you would deck me right here being how we talked about things and what we do as guys on the prowl (ok, something like that)”[/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]“No, why would I hit you..if it makes you happy then that is good. Your still my bro and always will be..well you know what I mean”[/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]So after calming down a bit, he opens his arms to give one of them ‘bro’ hugs ..which I later laughed about because how times do you see two guys sitting at a bar hugging each[/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]other except when just meeting up???[/SIZE]
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[SIZE=2]So we finished our talk and went separate ways as I had a small get-together to get to for a bit..another small bar for a birthday bash..and once again, I was playing the dude trying to pick up a woman..lol.. but then I looked up at a mirror and thought, who am I kidding.. and went home.. No I wasn’t dressed, it was just me seeing inside myself knowing I was in a confused state and needed to exit. [/SIZE]
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[SIZE=2]So I thought I would share this LONG story..sorry, wanted you to feel as if you was there..[/SIZE]
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[SIZE=2]No this is not for everyone so don’t take it that way if you are in the closet. It comes down to what you are willing to gamble on and sometimes its what you need to do to keep sane. [/SIZE]
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[SIZE=2]Thank you for reading..may you have a wonderful day in whatever mode you choose.[/SIZE]
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[SIZE=2]Hugs,[/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]Marissa[/SIZE]