Urg to dress increasing

[Delila]

Recently I have wanted to dress far more frequently than normal. My wife is incredibly understanding but I don't want to push the limit. I am just wondering if the urge to dress becomes more frequent as you get older or if this is just another stage in my progression to becoming more transgendered? Anyone who has encountered the increased urg any advice would be welcome.

[janet54]

Delila. I have allways had the urge to dress. The older I got the the feelings became more of the norm. I now dress 24/7. My wife is very supportive. But honey that urge never goes away.

[ArleneRaquel]

The older that I get the desire just grow & grows.

[Delila]

Delila. I have allways had the urge to dress. The older I got the the feelings became more of the norm. I now dress 24/7. My wife is very supportive. But honey that urge never goes away.

I really hope that is not the case with me I love dressing but I would not want to overwhelm my wife.

[Billie1]

Delila, I, too, am going through a stage of increased desire to dress more, and expand the variety of my dressing. For myself, it seems to be much more comfortable (and natural) recently to be in stockings, heels and a skirt, than drab pants and socks. This is happening after decades of wanting to wear feminine clothes. Like you, I has wondered if this is leaning more towards the transgendered side of the scale, than what I have always accepted as my 'normal' crossdressing. I actually don't think so. I say this because, after all these years, I have been in my male persona, and have my responsibilities to my family, that is first and foremost. And I gladly accept that responsibility, because my family is that important to me. So, it's just a matter of balance, and for whatever works for you. I hope that you find that happy medium.

Be well.

[Simply Joslyn]

I've gotten the same way lately, and then it just kind of halted like I'd over done it and need to take a bit of a break, maybe your not doing it enough lol

[Rebecca W.]

Delila,
I have encountered that urge to dress more often right now. It is impossible to suppress it, so I am currently dressed and I feel great. My best advice is to wear something girly all of the time to calm the inner "girl". I have tried to stop her but it only gets very costly disposing of my girl clothes and then having to buy more. Some days I feel great just in panties and pantyhose all day, others, I need to be fully dressed as she keeps pushing me to express myself. It will never go away so dress in something or the girl within will drive you crazy.
It is better to control it then to have it build up to a point where you cannot control it. Been there.

[Sandra1746]

Dressing as a new found freedom can be like that, getting lost in the pink fog. Whether this is a bad thing for you is something only you can answer.

Dressing for me is comfortable and relaxing and since I don't have to be REALLY careful hiding all traces of it, I am dressed more now and more openly.

Life is too short to worry about little things.

Enjoy,
Sandra1746

[Miriam-J]

It's hard to find the right balance, Delila, but it sounds as if you have your priorities right and your wife is accommodating. I've been working at the same balance as well. Please consider:

• How much time do you feel you owe yourself to your own guy side? To your wife?
  
• What level of crossdressing causes your wife's perception of you to shift from guy to gal? Your own?
• How far do you need to dress to satisfy your own perceptions?
  
• Do you feel a need to go out frequently dressed en femme? Is your wife comfortable with this and willing to come along and help?
  

If you understand the answers to these quesions, you can find the right balance. For example, if your wife still sees you as a guy when you're in a nightgown or a simple dress, maybe even with breast forms, you can dress that way a lot of the time without much impact on your relationship. In any case, you still owe yourself enough time to satisfy the guy inside that is likely a huge part of your life, and your wife's. But each person's, and couple's., balance point is different. I wish you well as you work it out.

Miriam

[Tina B.]

Yes, as you get older you do seem to have a desire to dress more and more, there is only one solution to the problem, give in to the desire!
Tina B.

[reb.femme]

Hi Delila,

I too seem to have a desire to dress more since I came out to my wife a few months ago, but I put this down to the freedom to do so. Your concern that you may overwhelm your wife with Delila resonates with me, as this too is my major worry. Maybe a little simplistic, but have you asked your wife how she feels, is it too much for her, etc.?

I love dressing but I do temper this so as to give my wife plenty of guy time. After all, that's who she signed up for, as Rebecca was in the closet then .

Rebecca x

[Cheryl T]

I always have the urge and always have had it.
When I came out to my wife 7 years ago she told me I could dress when I felt like it...I told her that was all the time so be careful what you say...lol.
At first I would call and tell her if I would be dressed when she came home and then she said it wasn't necessary. Now every evening after work I just change into something more comfortable.... and on the weekends I'm dressed unless we need to go do something that requires the man of the house.

All she needs to do is say change and I do, because I have more than ample time to dress.

[Stephanie Michelle]

For me every year I seem to want to dress more and more. Since my divorce it was not problem when I was living alone. Now that I am dating and my GF knows I have even more desire and she is OK with it. I just have to make sure that I give her man time and get my "man" things done.

[carhill2mn]

Generally, it seems as if the urge to "dress" increases with age. I also think that the more you do it, the more you want to.

[STACY B]

Or the more u get away with the more u want too ?

[RADER]

Well now that I am retired, I both have more time, and desire to dress.
When I was working, dressing took a back seat to everything else; however,
Now I can under dress almost all the time, and dress at my leisure in my
closet/home as I want. And I might add, My wife is OK with my dressing.
I do watch as to not overkill a good thing.
Rader

[goodnhose]

For me, It's like waves at the beach, they keep rolling unending/unstopable. They seem to get bigger with time.

[paulinescotlandcd]

Generally, it seems as if the urge to "dress" increases with age. I also think that the more you do it, the more you want to.

Yes, i would almost certainly agree, the urge increases as we age. For me it was late 30's early 40's. At this point my children were always around so this in effect pushed me out into the company of other CD'ers, no bad thing plus it did make me think twice about how I looked. It is one thing swanning around the house and another thing getting an nice outfit together to sit and chat to others.

[ReineD]

I wonder if those of you who say your urge to dress increases, are in relationships where you do not feel comfortable pushing your limits, or if you go out on a regular basis dressed. Might it be that unexpressed needs make things worse?

My SO doesn't speak to me about urges. I've no idea if at any point in her life, while she was still closeted, she thought about dressing every day. I've no idea if she thinks about dressing every day now. But, she has constructed a life for herself such that she can leave the house 45-60 minutes after the decision is made to go out (from beginning of shower to out the door), which makes it easy to dress whenever she wants to. She goes out on average twice per week, sometimes less and sometimes more, depending on her schedule. The rest of the time he seems perfectly content in guy mode. He rarely dresses just to stay home.

I spoke to her on the phone this evening. For the first time in several years, she drove to a city two hours away to spend a long weekend dressed. She left Friday morning and is returning Monday morning. This afternoon (Sunday), she decided she had had enough and he reverted to guy mode. She's in her 50s and she began dressing when he was 12. She's been going out in the mainstream for about 5-6 years, and was attending only gender support groups for about 8 years prior to this. And before all of this, she dressed only at home. He was single for much of the time and so had no constraints placed on him by a non-accepting SO.

[Kathy Smith]

I really, really love this post, Reine! You certainly have a way with words.

In my own case, since "coming out" to my wife, I don't think my urge to dress has increased very much, but the way I dress has changed tremendously. I'm far more interested in "looking about right" than anything else now. I've found that I'm spending more time on things like deportment and makeup than I ever did before. I can't explain this. Perhaps the "inner girl" is maturing a little!

[GiannaD]

Since I've just started on my CD journey, I want to every day! Can't do it at home though, so...I dress almost daily now at the office. After 3pm, there's now one here so out come the panties and bra, panty hose, and heels! Oh...and makeup too!