Was wanting advice how to get my wife to accept my crossdressing fetish I have been patiently giving her the space she wants to try and accept it and I am having bad withdrawals of dressing just wondering how to bring it up with her again without making her angry thx for any advice I can get
You can't 'Get' anybody to accept anything that they don't accept. Either she comes around or not, any attempt to push will just make it worse.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Jeremiah: It might be easier for some of us to give you better advice if we had more information. A lot of acceptance or non-acceptance is based on a number of factors including age, location, religious beliefs, etc. Overall, honesty is the best policy and you need to negotiate something that works for both of you
I agree that more information is needed on your situation to properly help you!
Along with what VickysBFF said:
How long has she known? What was her reaction? Have you asked her if you CAN dress? Explain "Fetish".... etc.
Real Men (Among Others!) Wear Panties
Tell ya what NOT to do !! Dont steal her CLOTHES !! They ,,,Woman dont like that at all ,,, Atleast get your own .
Yull Find Out !!! lol,,,,
Gently, slowly, her pace, thoroughly, reassuringly....
Try an take her shopping ,,Stay with her put yourOriginally Posted by STACY B
in an suggest outfits an show her you want to dress an your realy into it .
Yull Find Out !!! lol,,,,
While she is coming to terms with this "fetish" as you put it, ask her to join here and enter the domain of the GG's
There she will be able to discuss this with others who have a similar situation.
It may work out for you this way, or it may not. But the least she will find is that she is not alone, nor are you.
If she will not accept, discuss the possibility of you going away for a weekend, either alone, or to one of the conventions that happen.
Inside every good man, there is a good woman.
You'll get tons of advice on this Hon but no one or no couple situation reacts the same way. Circumstances and people's outlooks on things vary. Just be prepared for the eventuality that she may never accept it. If it is to be, it will be.If not, it won't.
Second star to the right and straight on till morning
You posted this in march. If it was March when she found out, then that is not long. It can take months even years for an SO to be accepting/supportive.
You could just tell her that you would like to talk about it, don't go bull in a china shop take it slow. Tell her you will answer any questions that she has as honestly as you can, don't whatever you do is say something just because you think it is what she wants to hear, it will come back and bite you and cause more problems.
Sandra
Administrator
I always used to rib you about your legs can't anymore. R.I.P Sexy Legs
R.I.P Rianna
That's the truth. I say do it sooner than later because as time goes on it get really more complicated. Have you tried anything yet? Have you mentioned any desire or interest? Is it really a fetish (which really implies that it is sexual in nature)? All these things will have different reactions in different people. Expect lots of questions and have an idea of how you will reply. Don't lie, don't brush her ideas or concerns off. Don't get angry when she has whatever reaction she has. Don't jump out of the closet and yell "SURPRISE". I also don't think leaving small clues is a good idea. My ideal way would be sort of like this:
Hand her a nice glass of wine, sit next to her on the couch and gently say "I would like to discuss something with you." Tell her how you feel, why you feel that way and that this does NOT alter your feelings for her. Hopefully it won't alter hers either
Last edited by Sandra; 05-24-2012 at 02:22 PM. Reason: I think a "nice glass of wine" sounds better than a "Mice glass of wine" lol
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“Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,
The only sure fire way I can think of is to get her hypnotized to think she a lesbian.... Then she will force you to crossdress.. Maybe even get srs! Or divorce you for another woman....
I agree with Jess, the wife will accept or not, but let your spouse to have all the times she needs to adjust and make her own decision. Prodding her will not help IMHO. During a 33 year marriage I never told my wife.
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I got my wife the book "My Husband Wears My Clothes", and "My Husband, Betty". She read them both, as did I. They were both very good, but the latter (MHB) went into things I never intend to leap into. I explained my thoughts and desires to her, and explained that it has been this way ever since I can remember. It has been over a year, and I am still careful to respect her space, and not go overboard. This seems to work pretty well for us, but every situation is different. Good luck!
Life's too short to not be enjoyed! Live each day to the fullest!
One thing to remember is to go slow.Do not push it, tell her truthfully all the answer to
her questions. Maybe bring up the subject in a round about way, just to start a conversation.
Good luck.
Rader
Best of luck, Jeremiah. Whether she accepts or not is really out of your control, so as best you can, try not to stress over it because that will only make it worse. If it's been several weeks since you talked about it and she hasn't said a word about it, then think about just sitting her down and saying "can we talk. . ." Just tread very carefully, hope for the best but expect the worst, and don't push. If you don't get the response you want, try not to react badly. Not saying that you can't be disappointed, but you'll have better luck convincing her down the road that this isn't as scary a thing if you keep calm.
Hi jeremiah. My opinion may vary from most but I think you should put her panties over your jeans and shake your bootie. see if she likes it. Maybe she'll be grossed out or hopefully play along....at least you'll have a better idea where she stands and that may prepare you better for what she says when you finally break it to her. But you do need to tell her sooner than not. I wish you the best and more! xoxo
Opposites attract: I think I took this concept of physics a bit toooo personally!!Hetero, Gay, Lesbian, Bi, TG, TS, TB, BP, BS, ET....I know I fit in there somewhere...but who cares!!! Happiness: lies in self progress, truth, love, and tolerance. I'm Me! No one else can be me but me. Ironic: is how society made me embarrassed to go out in public, and yet the biggest reason I wanna go out is to seek their approval.
The fact that girls and guys both CD is an indication to me that there are parallels that exist that allow many of us, at times, to be able to actually feel what it's like to be that opposite sex...in every possible facet. the way they think, feel, react, speak, and more. It's a two way street that many of us intersect down the way. Soooo....Be happy with what you have and SMILE!! Kisses and Hugs to EVERYONE!!!!!
She has known since March she caught me watching some you tube videos how to dress and transform temporarily and she had caught me before but she blew it off. She has helped me dress twice once for a Halloween party and once since I got caught in March and completely came out to her I pushed her pretty close to the edge if no return then after that and lately I've been giving her space and hoping she'd come around on the idea of it's just dressing no sexual involvement or wanting to be transgendered I just like ti dress like a woman to relieve stress but she hasn't mentioned a word about it in over a month and my urges to dress are. Getting worse by the day just dnt knowhat to do and thick
Thank you all for your support and help so far sorry bout the ending on that other post I only have s phone for internet
All you can do is ask her sincerely if the two of you can discuss your crossdressing. Basically, you need her to set some boundaries that will make her comfortable and allow you to be you and not "surprise" her. As for getting her to accept, you can't. Only she can do that.
Totally agree with Stacy. So true.
just try being honest with her
You have been giving her her space, but has it really been more like ignoring her thoughts and needs? Has she told you not to dress. Has she put any limits? These are all important things that factor into what you are looking for. The timeline you are working on is far too short to expect any developments if you are not talking to one another, and are floating. Be honest, get her some literature, not My Husband Betty to start with, it goes too far as a starter. Dont push your dressing on her, but dont repress your needs either as that can erupt badly. Get some boundaries.
Dont expect acceptance, just get the situation defined. Then keep talking, and after some time, some changes may occur.
Barbara
He (she) who would learn to fly one day must first learn to stand and walk and run and climb and dance.
- Friedrich Nietzche -
I may never get to fly like the other girls, but I do so want to dance, so I continue to climb.
you may be having "withdrawals", put that on the back burner, if you care about your wife and your marriage, but then again maybe your dressing is more important to you... this is not about you, right now. Did she know before the marriage? it is a completely different situation if this is something that you kept from her until years into a marriage.
LOL
I believe in the Chinese water torture. Tie her down and drop water on her forehead until she accepts it. LOL
Sorry they either do or do not. Good honest communication between the 2 of you can help, but she may never come around.
It's all about meeting each other's needs.
Last edited by Sandra; 05-26-2012 at 10:56 AM. Reason: Everything else that was written is irrelevant to the question
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