Is anyone else Sick and Tired of it?

[Wildaboutheels]

Tired of receiving Compliments ALL the time? Yeah that's what I thought. I am NOT talking about here at these Forums of course but out in the real world.

Did I lose you? Seriously, I'll bet we can all agree on one thing? No one gets TOO many compliments if any at all. No matter whether we are male or female and/or dress in the "correct" clothes. Correct, according to Society of course.

I will bet that we can all agree on a second thing also? That women are FAR more likely to receive compliments [simply because of their appearance] than men are. Undoubtedly, women in general are "required" to be much more careful about their appearance because the vast majority of men are so visually oriented and most women are "competing" for men.

There seem to be so many here always fretting and wondering about WHY they feel compelled to CD. Isn't wanting to be "appreciated" or noticed for effort as likely a reason as anything? At least one contributing factor.

When was the last time, dressed as a man, you receieved a compliment? Can you even remember? Or the last time you gave a compliment?

[Lynn Marie]

[SIZE="4"]I give and get compliments all the time. It's all about your frame of mind. I like people, they sense that, and the reciprocate. I try to never criticize, condemn, or complain. The evil 3 "C"s. It makes life so much easier. I do whine a little just for effect though![/SIZE]

[Cynthia Anne]

Sir I just love that tie you're wearing! And that flannel shirt is so dreamy! Nah, I don't think it's gonna catch on! Kinda makes me sick to the stomach just typeing it! Hugs!

[Ressie]

I got a compliment as a man about a month ago on my shoes. And of course the compliment was from a woman.

That women are FAR more likely to receive compliments [simply because of their appearance] than men are.

This is true, but I think women are also more likely to give compliments if they are warranted. Guys complimenting each other isn't a guy thing. "Your hair looks great Bill". Now Bill is thinking his friend might be gay lol. I do compliment girls or guys if I genuinely feel it. I enthusiastically complimented a woman on her colorful blouse recently and she asked me if I wanted to take it home with me. She no longer gets compliments from me.

[Cari]

I really struggle with gracefully accepting compliments.

[Jocelyn Quivers]

I really struggle with gracefully accepting compliments.

Same here I tend to blush a lot when I get them (which seemingly happens all of the time since I've been married), and I try to break out of my shy bashful shell. Back to the original question in male mode I never get tired of compliments.

[Foxglove]

I'd say the compliments I've received in drab have been few and far between. Can't remember when was the last time I got one. But that's OK with me, because I couldn't care less what I look like in drab. I'd say that's probably the reason I don't get many compliments. I neither deserve nor want them.

If I got complimented on my preferred appearance, that would be a true delight.

Best wishes, Annabelle

[Frédérique]

I will bet that we can all agree on a second thing also? That women are FAR more likely to receive compliments [simply because of their appearance] than men are. Undoubtedly, women in general are "required" to be much more careful about their appearance because the vast majority of men are so visually oriented and most women are "competing" for men.

[SIZE="2"]Oh, women RECEIVE compliments, but they rarely accept them; at least that’s what I’ve noticed during a lifetime of interaction. Either they don’t trust a male viewpoint, or they don’t want ME to compliment them, or they are somewhat at odds with their own female imprisonment. I’ve encountered women who were angry about their obligations to look a certain way, constantly appearing attractive as if they were stuck in a perpetual dating game. Of course, women (and men) dress to look good in public, if the situation calls for it – they have to look good for many reasons, either to be taken seriously, to be seen as a leader, or to be seen as a successful person amongst his or her peers. Women are careful about their appearance if their surroundings require it, or if they need to make an impression on someone...

Here in my little Kansas town, I recently saw an interesting photo in the newspaper. A new sign along the hiking/bicycle path was being dedicated, so local notables gathered to have their picture taken – the men stood on one side, the women stood on the other, and they ALL dressed alike (t-shirts, shorts, and baseball caps). Since the men and women were “hitched” as soon as they graduated from high school, there was no longer any need to look good for reasons of attraction. Their lives are over, or settled, or however you may want to look at it. Meanwhile, the senior prom came and went, an event where the girls dress up in a ritualistic sense to attract males, and the boys begrudgingly wear ties to look reasonably good for the girls – I wonder how compliments are taken, or received, under those curious circumstances? I wouldn’t say that men are visually oriented, rather they are sexually oriented, like hunter/predators, with a view to a kill. "You shore are purdy, darlin..."
[/SIZE]

[Beverley Sims]

Women are so nosy they are always smiling and looking at each other, giving compliments, remarking on fashion, shoes, makeup and just about every thing else.
If you want to pass you really have to sharpen up your act. Compliments are better than getting busted.

[GBJoker]

I have recieved millions of compliments, all the time, from every person of every walk of life, every race, ethinicity, and of course, sex.......... When I am a male.

Not a single one when I am dressed as a female.

I give compliments EXTREMELY rarely. And rougly 90% of the time, they are misinterpreted.

Freddie: I must be meeting the exact opposite kind of people in my life. I have never met a GG who didn't like compliments about anything concerning her. While most try to hide it in some way or another, I just put on my Cal Lightman, "Lie To Me" mode, and see through it all.

[Audrey34]

In guy mode I rarely get compliments. When I do it's usually when I'm in a suit and ready for a night on the town. In Audrey mode, I surprisingly get compliments from other CDs and even a few GGs! And I love to give out compliments too.
-Audrey

[Chickhe]

Complements are a stuggle for me because they immediately tell me that the person making the comment has just judged me in some way...

[Tina B.]

Girls, you need to dress better, I get complement every now and then, the last time we where at my wifes doctor, when her doctor looked over at me and said, my your sure dressed sharp to day. I was wearing slacks, and a turtle neck, I think it was the slacks, around here, you don't see that, that often.
If you dress just a little nicer than those around you, it does get noticed.
Tina B.

[Presh GG]

I give compliments daily, on the street , the bus wherever . Men or women if they look nice or are wearing an unussual piece of jewelry , a simple " you look nice today" is all that is needed.

It's a normal exchange in the PNW
Presh

[Karren H]

When was the last time, dressed as a man, you receieved a compliment? Can you even remember? Or the last time you gave a compliment?

Friday. At work.... I have an amazing collection of Jerry garcia ties and always get compliments from women and men as to how good I look. A few weeks ago I had a random guy out of the blue at a convenience mart come up to me and say "no garcia today". Holy crap. I felt like he was stalking me. Lol. But I give more compliments than I receive. For sure.

[noeleena]

Hi

A comipliment for being a male , gee i think not , not this kid any ways , as a woman yes of cause , i get comments because iv taken time in makeing my clothes , im known by those around me . Jos of cause , i have to make the effort of cause , so yes i do get comments that reflect what they see. & no we are not doing to show our selfs off for the men. i dont & nor need to, i do it becauce i like dressing in my clothes .& its a part of what we do in our groups,

...noeleena...

[Rachel Morley]

There seem to be so many here always fretting and wondering about WHY they feel compelled to CD. Isn't wanting to be "appreciated" or noticed for effort as likely a reason as anything? At least one contributing factor.

Not for me. I don't dress to go "fishing for compliments" and being noticed or complimented is not a motivator for me.

[Babette]

Somebody has to be different so let it be me. Yes, I do receive compliments of all sorts on a regular basis. I make a point of being mannerly, respectful, approachable, appreciative and sensitive to all. By doing so, many people will quickly warm to you presence and share their feelings. When people extend a compliment, I will thank them instead of countering with self deprecation.

Don't wait for compliments to come you way. Be proactive and compliment people for their best whatever it may be. Show appreciation for their efforts and they will always remember you. I believe you will reap what you sow.

Babette

[Vieja]

As I get older I try to compliment the ladies I meet in checkout lines usually their hair but sometimes a skirt or blouse. It makes me feel good when I get a smile in return.

At my age I know they wont think I am trying to hit on them.


Vieja

[ReineD]

There seem to be so many here always fretting and wondering about WHY they feel compelled to CD. Isn't wanting to be "appreciated" or noticed for effort as likely a reason as anything? At least one contributing factor.

When was the last time, dressed as a man, you receieved a compliment? Can you even remember? Or the last time you gave a compliment?

Wild, it's true that women at least of my generation weren't socialized to be forward that way. You accurately describe women as paying more attention to their appearance because they compete with other women for males. Here's another truism: in addition to knowing that most men are visual, women know that they enjoy the chase. And so women have developed much subtler ways to compliment men, to encourage them, so to speak, in pursuing them if they are single, or letting men know they are attractive if the women are partnered. So maybe you need to pay more attention to the ways that women do compliment you. It could be as subtle as a double take when you walk by. Or a shy smile, a toss of hair, holding your gaze for a few seconds longer than necessary, asking you questions about yourself or trying to engage you in conversation, turning her body to face you when she speaks, leaning a little forward to talk, etc.

My SO is the first to admit that he never had a clue when a woman was interested in him. lol. I pretty well had to bop him over the head with a stick. I suspect there are many CDers who share this trait. I know there are many CDers who do not believe themselves to be attractive in guy mode (even though women think they're gorgeous), and so I wonder if some CDers experience low self-esteem as a male and this makes it more difficult to know when they are receiving these subtle signs of approval from women?

[sometimes_miss]

That women are FAR more likely to receive compliments

I suppose it's because most men will tell women whatever they think will get them laid in the vast majority of the cases, and that's a compliment, whether it's true or not, then add that other women will tell their female friends how good they look even when they look hideous.
And,

When was the last time, dressed as a man, you received a compliment? Can you even remember? Or the last time you gave a compliment?

Can't remember.

[ReineD]

[SIZE="2"]I wouldn’t say that men are visually oriented, rather they are sexually oriented, like hunter/predators, with a view to a kill. "You shore are purdy, darlin..."
[/SIZE]

I suppose it's because most men will tell women whatever they think will get them laid in the vast majority of the cases, and that's a compliment, whether it's true or not

Oh no! You're shattering my little world!

Seriously, I do see this happening, but men are also capable of becoming smitten. And women have pretty good radars. We can tell the difference between men who just want sex and men who are genuinely attracted to us ... most of the time.

And, well, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. A man can have a genuine admiration for a woman and tell her so, without necessarily wanting to get into her pants (?)

There was a man fixing water damage to my home who had a gorgeous head of hair. A beautiful strawberry blond color, thick, shiny, wavy, just gorgeous. So I complimented him. He was embarrassed. Maybe he thought I was coming on to him (I wasn't) but he clearly gave the impression he did not appreciate the compliment.