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Thread: Schools that teach Female Etiquette, Mannerisms and Posture?

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    Schools that teach Female Etiquette, Mannerisms and Posture?

    I was just wondering where one would look to find a place that teaches Female Etiquette Mannerisms and Posture?

    Would like to hit all three at once, so I can get some personalized one on one training to learn how to be a lady better.

    posture, walking, talking, gestures, standing and talking with others, greetings, departure's, formal and informal female practices.

    I don't do too well with video's or tutorials, I learn better if I have someone showing me and guiding me.

    looking for something or someone in the Nashville, TN area.

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    Silver Member RenneB's Avatar
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    Aside from gettin the lessons on disc (search the web for that one) I'd just head to the local mall.... stay away from walymart unless you want to know what not to wear.... LOL...

    Check out the youtubey videos and then practice, practice, practice....

    I bring a lot of the mannerisms from the girl side into the other side of my day to day life.... Like getting into the car. Butt first then swing the legs in. It's so easy. Now not all GGs do it that way, but the really good ones do..

    Renne.....

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    Quote Originally Posted by RenneB View Post
    Aside from gettin the lessons on disc (search the web for that one) I'd just head to the local mall.... stay away from walymart unless you want to know what not to wear.... LOL...

    Check out the youtubey videos and then practice, practice, practice....

    I bring a lot of the mannerisms from the girl side into the other side of my day to day life.... Like getting into the car. Butt first then swing the legs in. It's so easy. Now not all GGs do it that way, but the really good ones do..

    Renne.....
    i want to work with someone in person. not watch a video. I want interaction with someone while they are teaching me, showing me things, I want feedback on how I am executing the actions.

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    I once saw an article about a school near Boston, MA.
    The person applying was a man, and they would not let him in.
    It was stated since it was a privet school, there was no law to
    force them to take on a male student.
    Rader

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    Senior Member JohannaH's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RenneB View Post

    I bring a lot of the mannerisms from the girl side into the other side of my day to day life.... Like getting into the car. Butt first then swing the legs in. It's so easy. Now not all GGs do it that've way, but the really good ones do..

    Renne.....
    I've learned to do that since starting to wear skirts instead of shorts in warm weather. Now it is second nature so I do it all the time, even when I wear pants!

    John
    Last edited by JohannaH; 05-30-2012 at 07:50 PM.
    My wife says to me all the time, "You're not a man".

    Well, guess what? She backs the statement up by buying me dresses.

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    Isn't Life Grand? AllieSF's Avatar
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    There are some people who consult with the MtF TG community and offer exactly those services. A friend of mine used the services of a post-op MtF TS and could only rave about her and the results. I can attest for the results because we have been out together several times. Unfortunately for you, she is out here on the West Coast and charges quite a bit per hour. She handles voice, mannerisms, posture, walking, dressing, fashion and wigs tips. I also know someone who does a somewhat similar service, though I am not exactly sure of her areas of specialty. This one is mobile and may be able to meet you closer to your home. If interested, PM me and I will see if I can find their contact information.

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    Member Stephanie-L's Avatar
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    One thing I have been doing is in conjunction with my voice lessons. My instructors are very interested in all axpects of communication, including the non-verbal stuff. So, they have had me work on mannerisms, posture, etc. They had me pick an actress I admire, in my case Cote De Pablo, and watch clips of her on talk shows (not while she was acting) and we would discuss things like how she moves, sits, etc. Another thing I have been doing is observing the way women, especially those I would like to emulate, walk. One great place I have found to do this is at the airport. I just sit there in the chairs outside the security checkpoint and watch the people go by. There are usually lots of women in my age range, and many are business travelers which means thay are dressed a little nicer than average. I also get ideas about what looks good on a certain body type this way. Watching women with a critical eye can be very instructive, both what to do and what not to do.................Stephanie

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    Quote Originally Posted by AudreyTN View Post
    I was just wondering where one would look to find a place that teaches Female Etiquette Mannerisms and Posture?
    At the mall? At work? Being a woman around women is the best way to learn how to act like a woman. Boys and girls learn their social roles by emulation. There must be DVD and lessons, but it's like with the voice. It does not happen until you have too use it. I am post-op and I am still learning what it means to be a woman in society all the time.

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    Senior Member Debglam's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Frances View Post
    At the mall? At work? Being a woman around women is the best way to learn how to act like a woman.
    Yeah, I tend to agree. Go anywhere the GG's are and just watch them. For one-on-one, how about any GG you know? I'm pretty skeptical of these "schools" that teach you how to be "a lady." If it works for you, that's great, but I would rather see how the GG's act in the real world and try to learn from that.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    Debby

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    Quote Originally Posted by Frances View Post
    At the mall? At work? Being a woman around women is the best way to learn how to act like a woman. Boys and girls learn their social roles by emulation. There must be DVD and lessons, but it's like with the voice. It does not happen until you have too use it. I am post-op and I am still learning what it means to be a woman in society all the time.
    does anyone actually READ the thread? I know MY abilities better than anyone else, and how I learn, I wish people would actually READ what I have written, and stop making assumptions that they have the answer, when it in fact does not apply to me.

    I don't care about DVD's, I don't care to go to the mall, or watch a youtube video. There's a reason I asked if there was a school or someone who specializes in this. I'm not trying to be cross with you, but it's frustrating at times when what is initially written goes blatantly ignored.

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    I think any place that teaches those kinds of things are going to be teaching all those stereotypical, froo-froo, born with a silver spoon feminine etiquette and mannerisms.

    And I also think that those posh, holier than thou types would frown on a 'man' wanting to take the lessons.
    Last edited by Bree-asaurus; 05-30-2012 at 11:04 PM.

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    Audrey,

    Go back and read Fances's post. She knows what she is talking about. She is there, right where you want to be. What she is telling you is the right way to do this. You can't learn it in a hour long lesson. You can't learn it in a week, or a month, or a year even. If you want to know what it's like to be a woman, then you have to hang out with women. You have to live and work and be around women. Girls spend years learning this stuff as they grow up, you will need to do pretty much the same thing.

    Now, are there schools like you describe? Yes. Yes there are. They are in every major metropolitan area and many smaller areas. There's one in Barre Vermont for goodness sake. So why don't you utilize one of them? Because they can't do what you are asking, and they are very expensive. Think about it. You want the undivided attention of a teacher for how long? A day? A month? Just how long do you figure it will take? Frances has been full time for years now and she is still learning. The expense become ridiculous. Do you have $20,000 for a year's tuition at Miss Perkins finishing school for girls in Peabody, Mass? It's a four year school.

    You don't need to go to the mall if you don't want to. Just go out into the world and live. Pay attention. Listen, watch, be, learn.

    Stephie

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    Fashionista VeronicaMoonlit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bree_K View Post
    I think any place that teaches those kinds of things are going to be teaching all those stereotypical, froo-froo, born with a silver spoon feminine etiquette and mannerisms.
    Pretty much.

    And I also think that those posh, holier than thou types would frown on a 'man' wanting to take the lessons.
    Actually...no, some are quite open to it because they know they can make money from transfolk who may be somewhat insecure in their skills since the market for those that usually do such things, like pageant contestants, is small.

    http://www.femimage.com/

    And at least one post-op TS does image consulting.

    Veronica
    If you believe in it, makeup has a magic all it's own -- Sooner or Later (TV movie)
    We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?- Marianne Williamson
    Have I also not said that "This Thing of Ours" makes some of us a bit "Barefoot in the Head"? Well, it does.

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    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Google is your friend.

    Found this on Manta. It's a modeling school categorized under "Finishing School, Charm and Modeling": http://www.manta.com/c/mm6xkc1/jo-susan-models

    Here's the website: http://www.josusanmodels.com/

    In addition to modeling and acting classes, they teach poise and etiquette classes, and self-confidence.
    Reine

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    Quote Originally Posted by AudreyTN View Post
    does anyone actually READ the thread? I know MY abilities better than anyone else, and how I learn, I wish people would actually READ what I have written, and stop making assumptions that they have the answer, when it in fact does not apply to me.

    I don't care about DVD's, I don't care to go to the mall, or watch a youtube video. There's a reason I asked if there was a school or someone who specializes in this. I'm not trying to be cross with you, but it's frustrating at times when what is initially written goes blatantly ignored.
    I replied with a quote from you own post. I must have read it, right? Good luck with your transition.

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    Quote Originally Posted by VeronicaMoonlit View Post
    Actually...no, some are quite open to it because they know they can make money from transfolk who may be somewhat insecure in their skills since the market for those that usually do such things, like pageant contestants, is small.

    http://www.femimage.com/

    And at least one post-op TS does image consulting.

    Veronica
    thank you Veronica!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by ReineD View Post
    Google is your friend.

    Found this on Manta. It's a modeling school categorized under "Finishing School, Charm and Modeling": http://www.manta.com/c/mm6xkc1/jo-susan-models

    Here's the website: http://www.josusanmodels.com/

    In addition to modeling and acting classes, they teach poise and etiquette classes, and self-confidence.
    thanks Renee, you had better luck than I did.
    Last edited by ReineD; 05-31-2012 at 02:54 PM. Reason: You wrote your response inside my quote, so I removed your response and placed it under the quote.

  17. #17
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    Audrey, I'm anxious to hear what you think of whichever school you choose. I am admittedly skeptical but tring to keep an open mind for you.

  18. #18
    '..',,~ Inna's Avatar
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    Funny you should ask, I have started such classes! Together with LGBT organization Metro Wellness Community Center I have established a local Feminine Poise Class, you can find the info at: http://www.facebook.com/FemininePoise

    However it is local class and as you point out, the hands on experience is unmatched by simple often misleading videos of :How Toos" on you tube.
    I have though though about structuring some instructional videos so that it would be bit more simple and right down to the core of the essence of femininity and manner, but demand has to be quite large and being in poverty my self such would need to be somewhat sportive as I do nearly everything for free now, lol, but so far I am surviving only on love alone pretty well

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    Quote Originally Posted by Stephenie S View Post
    Audrey,

    Go back and read Fances's post. She knows what she is talking about. She is there, right where you want to be. What she is telling you is the right way to do this. You can't learn it in a hour long lesson. You can't learn it in a week, or a month, or a year even. If you want to know what it's like to be a woman, then you have to hang out with women. You have to live and work and be around women. Girls spend years learning this stuff as they grow up, you will need to do pretty much the same thing.
    I did read it, but I can't learn that way. I have a short term memory issue, so even if I see it, I can;t remember it a few hours later. I have to see it, do it, and repeat it, and it's better for me if I have someone verbally guiding me, ensuring that I do it correctly, and showing me how I am doing it wrong, how I should be doing it right. Thats why I want the school or a personal teacher. Once I do that, and get the basics down, then I can use video tutorials and what not. my brain is just wired differently in terms of how I learn.

    and no, it won't be a year or anything like that, maybe someone I could hire to do some sidework, just working with me individually to get some basics, and then accompany me out in public on a few occasions to monitor my technique and progress. I don't think a 4 year school would be applicable, or necessary, although it would have been a great idea had I been in this process before college, and then it might have been beneficial. But for now, all I want to do is establish the fundamentals and ensure they are sound and properly performed and I need someone to be accountable too, that can push me. I accomplish good things under pressure, but when left to learn things on my own or figure them out for myself, I usually have some trouble finding the motivation to begin and follow through.

    I wasn't trying to jump down France's throat, but I clearly stated what I did for a reason, and it seemed like that was either not read, or it just wasn't recognized.

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    Not to be dismissive, but...

    You can't just acquire it from your surroundings?

    I mean, I get that you want to work on your presentation and all. I get it. I just don't understand how you can expect to learn any other way.

    Even if you have poor short-term memory, there are these magical inventions called the pen and the pad of paper. If you do something wrong, you can pretty quickly gauge such from the reactions of those around you -> like every other woman learns these things! If you can't learn that way, then how do you even function as male?

    Quote Originally Posted by Frances View Post
    At the mall? At work? Being a woman around women is the best way to learn how to act like a woman. Boys and girls learn their social roles by emulation. There must be DVD and lessons, but it's like with the voice. It does not happen until you have too use it. I am post-op and I am still learning what it means to be a woman in society all the time.
    Precisely.

  21. #21
    Isn't Life Grand? AllieSF's Avatar
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    I have clearly seen the results of a specialized consultant assisting a TG friend of mine. My friend is tall (6-2) and definitely is a male in male mode. However, with the assistance of her consultant, who is a fairly well known TS in some parts of the TS world, she looks, sits, walks, and has the mannerisms of a female. She did not go to school, rather she had one on one meetings over the course of time until she felt that she was felt that she was ready to go it alone. When practicing when out in the public she purposely over emphasized her learned mannerisms, often times being kidded by her friends about it. However, one day she said it just came naturally and she was there without the exaggerations. There is a lot to be taught and a lot to be learned with this type of one on one training and for those that can afford it, it can be well worth it. After that, tutorials and first hand observations become more relevant and useful. To me the only downside is the high cost and time. For my friend, once she decided she wanted to be able to go out and blend in and also be noticed in a good way when entering a restaurant or wherever, she took the professional route to speed her progress along with fantastic results. One of the difficult things for a lot of people is to truly be able to recognize and note what are the little gestures, head tilts, voice inflections etc. that someone else has. Good actors have to work at getting a specific character down so that they can properly and accurately portray the other person. Yes, we can learn some things by observations, but being males we have a great tendency to overlook the details. I say go for it if you can afford it.

  22. #22
    Gold Member Jorja's Avatar
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    Years ago, back in the 50's even the late 60's there were finishing schools. Mostly girls attended. It seemed as though there was one in every town. Unfortunately, that is a thing of the past. You might try a local dance troupe or even an actors school. I found an older woman, who thought it was cute that I was trying to become a woman, to help me. Simply ask a GG to help you. What can she say, no?
    Jorja

    I may not be perfect, but parts of me are pretty damn awesome!

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    Quote Originally Posted by konkbent View Post
    Not to be dismissive, but...

    You can't just acquire it from your surroundings?

    I mean, I get that you want to work on your presentation and all. I get it. I just don't understand how you can expect to learn any other way.

    Even if you have poor short-term memory, there are these magical inventions called the pen and the pad of paper. If you do something wrong, you can pretty quickly gauge such from the reactions of those around you -> like every other woman learns these things! If you can't learn that way, then how do you even function as male?



    Precisely.
    what works for you, may not work for another, and in instances like these, that won't work for me. The fact is, I know myself, my habits, my tendencies, and if left to learn something on my own, it tends not to get done, or it doesn't get done properly. If I have someone to be accountable to, I get much better results. I am not lazy, or dumb, I just respond to things differently when I have someone holding me accountable, and pushing me. I'm kinda a like a car with a manual transmission, and a faulty starter, most things I can do on my own, but sometimes my starter just don't get me going, and I need someone to get me rolling, pop the clutch, and away I go.

    If videos and tutorials and sitting at the mall work for you and others in this thread, I'm not saying don't use it, I'm just saying it won't work for me. I used to sit at the mall trying to emulate guys, when I was trying to prove to myself that all this feminine desires and crossdressing was nonsense, and I watched the cool guys, the slick one's that could show up with 3 of their buddies, and then leave with 5 girls. Tried to take note of their clothes, the way they walked, talked, what they talked about. it didn't go over so well. so no reason to go down that road again when I already know the end result.


    Quote Originally Posted by AllieSF View Post
    I have clearly seen the results of a specialized consultant assisting a TG friend of mine. My friend is tall (6-2) and definitely is a male in male mode. However, with the assistance of her consultant, who is a fairly well known TS in some parts of the TS world, she looks, sits, walks, and has the mannerisms of a female. She did not go to school, rather she had one on one meetings over the course of time until she felt that she was felt that she was ready to go it alone. When practicing when out in the public she purposely over emphasized her learned mannerisms, often times being kidded by her friends about it. However, one day she said it just came naturally and she was there without the exaggerations. There is a lot to be taught and a lot to be learned with this type of one on one training and for those that can afford it, it can be well worth it. After that, tutorials and first hand observations become more relevant and useful. To me the only downside is the high cost and time. For my friend, once she decided she wanted to be able to go out and blend in and also be noticed in a good way when entering a restaurant or wherever, she took the professional route to speed her progress along with fantastic results. One of the difficult things for a lot of people is to truly be able to recognize and note what are the little gestures, head tilts, voice inflections etc. that someone else has. Good actors have to work at getting a specific character down so that they can properly and accurately portray the other person. Yes, we can learn some things by observations, but being males we have a great tendency to overlook the details. I say go for it if you can afford it.
    where's the like button? This is exactly why I started this thread and exactly the results I want to get. thank you for such a wonderful post Allie!

  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jorja View Post
    Simply ask a GG to help you. What can she say, no?
    That's precisely what I did. I have one helping me with fashion and makeup since she went to college for Cosmetology and my other friend is going to help me with mannerisms, etiquette and cooking.

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    Audrey, I think you are missing the point I was trying to make. I did not say go sit at the mall and stare at people. I said be a woman in society. What kind of lady are we talking about here anyway? Melissa Ethridge or Queen Elizabeth II? Transition is about becoming a real person, yourself. So why would someone have any kind perspective that would be better than your own? You talk about basics, fundamentals, performing and accomplishing. Identifying a problem and finding a solution. That sounds like guy talk to me.

    How does a woman walk? I see as many gaits as there are women out there. How does a woman sit or stand up? This is nonsense, but it's your money and your time. Nothing in those classes will prepare you for being infantilized by men or hit on by men when it's unwanted. Nothing will prepare you for being excluded by women for not being young or pretty enough. Learning to hold a teacup properly for sure won't help you.

    You think I don't understand what you are going through or your special circumstances? That's fine. Like I said, good luck with your transition. I hope everything turns out well for you. I was not answering your exact question, because I truly believe you are barking up the wrong tree. Unless you are an actor and this is just for show.

    Once again, however, it has been made abundantly clear that experience has little to no currency on this forum.
    Last edited by Frances; 05-31-2012 at 08:19 PM.

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