In a previous thread I asked for advice re: An Enhanced Driver License. Based on feedback here and from the US Border Patrol (yes you can call them) I decided for purposes of crossing into Canada and coming back into the US (most important) that it would be best to go ahead and get the enhanced license but with my male photo. It hurts to just type that. While I haven't changed my name yet my photo on my regular license was Michelle. I went today and did the deed. I dressed in the only male attire I own. One blue striped golf shirt that I kept to work on the car with instead of ruining something nice. I wore the most androgynous slacks I own and I think I pulled it off. I told the girl at the DMV that I had lost my license and needed a replacement and would also like to upgrade to an enhanced license. No problem. That is until I stepped up to the camera to get the photo taken. It turns out that when the brought my record on the screen it showed my old license in full Michelle glory. This caused quite a bit of confusion. I didn't know what was going on just that something was confusing her. She called a supervisor who couldn't figure it out either. They kept punching in my info and getting the same result. Finally one of them motioned for me to come back to the counter and very discretely asked me if on my last license did I have long hair and makeup. I proudly said that yes I did and if not for the fact that it would cause issues at the border I would have the same now. Her only reply was "Wise choice". I left with my temporary and should receive the permanent in 2-3 weeks.
Now for the down side. I feel like I have just taken a giant step backwards in my journey. As tho somehow by giving in and going back in male mode I have let myself down. I am feeling pretty depressed about it. It also means that when we do cross the border I will also have to be male and then change back once across. I think that would make me feel like a crossdresser going to a meetup or something. I don't mean to imply that there is anything wrong with that because there isn't. In fact I attended many such events myself. It's just that I feel that I have come so far. WHEN WILL I GET TO THE POINT THAT I JUST FEEL NORMAL?????