How hard would it be for me to start living as a girl?

[johnthefisherman]

Both in terms of passing, and if it seems to be right for me. I still am not sure if I should start living as a girl.

I've always like women's clothes, and I like crossdressing very much. I especially like the thrill of going out in public as a woman. I'm soon moving off to college far away to New York City. I thought I'd live partially as a girl, but now I'm thinking maybe I could live full-time as a girl, and dress androgynously (but still girly) to class, talking to advisers, etc. I have some questions, since I'm inexperienced with living in a large city, living as a woman, and living at a college, and if you have any advice other than the answers to these questions, it would be greatly appreciated.

Are there any obstacles I haven't thought of that I would run into if I live as a girl full-time in this new city in college? Should I do it as soon as I get there so floormates initially think of me as a girl? (roommates have to be the same gender, but I might get a single. floors are co-ed). Would there be any trouble at places since I'm legally male and that it would say that on college records, license, etc? Would it be possible to get dates? I haven't really picked out a female name that I like yet (Rachel, Katie, Michelle, and Olivia).

And in terms of passing, how hard would it be for me to live as a girl? These pictures are from a while ago, but I haven't changed a lot. I'm 5'7.5", 130 pounds, waist measurement is about 27", hips are 35". I can take some more pictures to show what I look like now if that's needed. And please be honest in critiquing my pictures (and in advice).

My pictures are on the pictures board: http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...d-girl-mode%29

[Krista Doll]

These questions are hard to answer but in N.Y. city You can get away with alot but I would suggest talking to someone in the school about what plans You have and maybe they can be of some help. You should consider getting in some form of counseling before You leave. As for the living conditions only the school can tell You what is possible. But going anywhere in the city You have many options there are so many places too go. And people are more accepting in the city. Just watch where You go You will find out more when You get there or look on the web for some places to go someone here may even be able to help.

[Barbara Ella]

IMHO, just a bit premature to be worrying about that aspect of your life. get to College, try it out, see how you fit in and how dressing fits into the rugged schedule. College is hard enough without the immense pressures of trying to be female 24/7. Get to know yourself before getting any more pressures. Worrying about future things that may never happen can take the fun right out of everything. Live in the present and make sure it works for you and is fun. Your feminine nature will take care of itself, and when it does, you will not have to even ask the question. You will know.

Barbara

[AllieSF]

I think that if you are exploring at a young age, then doing it at a university far from home is the perfect place, assuming the university is typical and fairly open minded about gender expression, which I believe most already are to varying degrees. You will hopefully also have access to the school's medical center which again normally always offers some type of counseling and therapy for the students. Many students go through some pretty emotional times being away from home for the first time and the schools try to provide help to get them through their difficulties. LGBT counseling, albeit potentially weak, should be part of that. All this out of site and mind of the family and close friends, unless you have some close by in NY. So take it slowly and see what happens. Be careful, network with others similar to your self and you may answer a lot of questions earlier in life than most of the members here were ever able to do. Treat it as an experiment for yourself knowing that you can switch back when you want or when you need a break.

From your pics, I would say you can go male, female or androgynous whenever you like. Since college dressing is very informal, a lot of androgynous clothes will serve you in all three modes. As you can see, I am encouraging to try it to see if you like it, can do it and want to do it more. Good luck and you really do look like a girl in your pics.

[sometimes_miss]

Be very careful about the compliments you get here, because few will want to say anything bad; it's a CD support site, after all; we're trying to be nice to each other, and just like real girls, even if you look horrible we're not going to say that. The pictures you have here don't show nearly enough of you to make an educated guess as to how you look in real life. I suggest taking a video with sound and post it on youtube and get back to us with a link, and you can also take a lot of pictures of you dressed up as good as possible, and post them on http://hotornot.com/. That will tell you how good (or not) you look. But even at hour height and weight, passing is still quite rare. Most people in major urban areas will politely ignore your transgender status, however, but don't take that for passing. Post some pictures here first. Remember, about 90% of our lives are the same whether we are male or female. It's the other 10% that will make the difference, and what you do inside the house by yourself won't matter at all. Oh, and your voice can be a giveaway as well, no matter how hard you train it. Puberty can be a real nonreversible bitch sometimes.

[Kate Simmons]

Too many variables and unknowns with the situation to be able to give any kind of viable answers Hon. I think a lot of the answers to the questions you ask can only be found by doing.

[Beverley Sims]

I would stay as a boy and see what the environment at college is like first.
At least they have counsellors that can assist you with your dilemma.
It does happen frequently, so you will not be thought of as odd.
If you come out as a female at the college you will be more readily accepted by others as they observe your change.
I think college people are more understanding and lot less likely to ostracise you than in the real world.
So go as a guy and maybe graduate as a lady.

[Lesley_Roberta]

As I see it, you are young so you have that perk, you look genuinely female, sure helps, and really that is a major problem for most of us without a lot of talent in doing the make up etc.

I would suggest, you leave and arrive entirely as female, and be female 100% of your time there, and leave your male back home in a box.

But don't blame us if A. you can't find a girl friend and B. you have guys wanting to be your boyfriend

[Roberta Marie]

It's difficult to give advice with out knowing anything about the college. But most colleges have an LGBT support group on campus, which you should be able to find on the college's web site. I would suggest contacting the faculty advisor of this group for guidence.

Some more progressive colleges have gender neutral housing and restrooms, but some more conservative colleges are not at all tolerant. I would think that, unless you are in a gender neutral dorm, even co-ed, there might be issues, especially if you have a roomate. In a dorm where each room has a provate bath/shower room, it may not be a problem. In a dorm where a pair of "suites" shares a common bath/shower room, there may be issues. In a dorm where there is one or two communal bath/shower rooms per floor, there probably would be issues.

Also, we do not know what your home situation is. Do your parents know and are they supportive of your crossdressing? 10 or 15 years ago it may have been easier to insulate college life from home life. But that is becoming more difficult with Skype, Facebook, and blogs. Our youngest son is currently studying in Paris, France for a semester, and we know more about what is going on in his life than we did about his sister's, who is 10 years older, when she was going to school just a couple of hours away in the same state.

These are just a couple of the challanges that come to mind, I'm sure there are others. If I think of it, I'll ask my son his opinion the next time we Skype. He will be in his 4th year at a smaller campus just outside of Cleveland next year, and is very involved in the on campus LGBT group (he is gay). Also, in my local transgender support group, there are a couple Kent State University students, as well as some recent grads from Cleveland State and Case Western. I'll see if I can ask them your questions and get some opinions.

[Lesley_Roberta]

Hmm very good points Roberta Marie, I missed thinking of that entirely.

[Karren H]

Or..... Instead of spending so much time worrying about what clothes you want to wear you could put some effort into figuring out what you want to do for a living... A carrier... What college is all about... Be a shame if you made it all the way to graduation... wearing pretty dress and end up using your art history degree to work at McDonalds? Lol.

[deebra]

Go/live as a guy in drab so your classmates will accept you and you won't be the talk of the campus, THEN dress as your second-self as a female and go to games, pizza shop, shopping and enjoy life on campus and in town as a girl and in secret. This way you won't be setting your self up for nonacceptance and you can enjoy the secrecy of being two people/genders incognito and it will be safer and a lot of fun. You are blessed with such natural attrabutes that allow you to transition to a very attractive woman, just keep dressing and being a girl, it's far to much fun to not enjoy it to the fulliest.

[katie_barns]

Or..... Instead of spending so much time worrying about what clothes you want to wear you could put some effort into figuring out what you want to do for a living... A carrier... What college is all about... Be a shame if you made it all the way to graduation... wearing pretty dress and end up using your art history degree to work at McDonalds? Lol.

lol
I agree Karren, but come on!
To go to a new town and be totally free to be yourself...... How exciting. I am sure there is going to be lots of things that weren't though about but the only way to find out is to jump in............ You can always transfer in the spring

Think about housing. Wearing a dress and living in the boys dorm might not be the best idea.

[Lesley_Roberta]

College is not forever, but where you eventually end up living is a big deal.

It might not be the end of the world to tell the girl to suck it up princess, don't make my college harder than it already is.

Because as was mentioned, you might have trouble explaining why you didn't mention your anatomical reality when they were assigning your living spaces. Then again, if you are like many, don't actually use dorms (nothing says you have to) this might not be an issue. My mother rented rooms in our house to kids going to the local college. Now if a guy as a girl said she needed the back bedroom because of her secret, mom would have realized the bedroom in the basement able to hold 2 was not an option. After that, well that just means you never shower on campus and you just do what is needed to be a credible girl.

But then you still need to fend off boyfriends

[Stephenie S]

So to go a bit against the grain here, I am going to be totally encouraging.

Can you go off to college and live totally as a girl? No. No you cannot. Changing you gender is far to complicated for you at this stage in your life without the complete assistance of a major support system, ie your parents. Are they on board? No? Then it won't happen. If you are paying the bills, it will be far easier.

BUT. And here's the big one.

There is NO environment that you will ever live in EVER that is more accepting of weirdness in dress and difference in presentation. For goodness sake, unless you are planning on attending a religious right bible thumping college you will be able to wear absolutely anything you want. Have you heard of grunge? Hippies? Preppies?

If you do your job well (keep your grades up) no one will give a sweet flying patootie what you wear. Wear ANYTHING! College will be (is) a wonderful place to explore just how it is you want to present to the world in a safe and supported environment. Every college will have stringent anti discrimination policies already in effect. Most will have well organized LGBT offices. There is no where you will ever be that will be as accepting or supportive your college campus.

Change your gender? You may be putting the cart before the horse. There's a lot you have to do to accomplish that. But experiment with wearing female clothes 24/7? You could not ask for, or find, a better place. Go for it.

Please let me echo Karren's advice. College is for beginning the work of finding out just how you plan on supporting yourself, how you are gonna make money, for the rest of your life. Use your time well. This is more important than anything else.

Auntie Stephenie

[bobbimo]

I think you have the looks to pull this off. But your living situation might be the hard part.
The chances of getting a single room in NYC are pretty slim, so you have to figure out if your rooming with a guy or girl. I'm not sure how the strait roomy might take to having a changling in their room and how will they explain that to their parents on visiting day?
Are you heading towards transition or just cross dressing? If your going to transition than you need to tell the college so that your treated as female from the beginning.
Your your just CD then your going to have to take the luck of the draw with your roommate, or dress in private.

[kimdl93]

I agree with Karren that your focus should first be on your degree...regardless of how you dress. If you pick something appropriate to your interests and skills, as well as a field in demand, then work very hard and graduate with a good record, you'll have more opportunities in life beyond college.

Regarding dressing at college, I think you could pass, but you need to think about a lot of other factors mentioned above. What about friends and family? What are your long term personal goals? Any thought to transitioning? Do you want to be a male that dresses or become a woman?

[Sam-antha]

Year one is far to soon. Wait a bit and ensure yourself a plce in year two at least. Then you can see what the water is like and then you will be more confidant rf your studies. Uni is not school and the chang e is huge. A little neglect of what you are there for and you are lost in the world.
S~

[Vickie_CDTV]

I tend to be the voice of caution (and a bit of a wet blanket)...

First and foremost, focus on school and think very carefully about what you will be doing with that degree and if there will be any jobs available in your field by the time you graduate (they may be very hard to get or nonexistent in 4 years, take it from someone who has been there.) I would talk to the school about what you plan to do before signing up and forking over the money (or putting yourself in debt for the rest of your life.) You are young and have limited experience with living as a woman so take it slow and be very careful, once you are out to everyone you cannot go back. Also, outside of the trans stuff, it is a very good idea to learn a marketable skill or trade to fall back on if the jobs in your field go away (again, take it from someone who learned that the hard way, college is no guarantee of anything.)

If you are living on campus and are outed, can you live with that? While colleges tend to be pretty liberal, you are also in a social environment full of young people (especially testosterone pumped up males) who may or may not appreciate the fact you are different. You may face some backlash for it, maybe not but it is possible. I dressed while I was in college (off campus) but kept myself from being discovered (and I would imagine it would be harder being fulltime since you are always visible.)

One more point to consider, while you look very good in your pictures, remember you are still young and puberty can last into your early 20s. You look like you are of Mediterranean ethnicity, and your facial may go from light to dark and course and make passing difficult (I have been there!), and you may continue to have other changes like your voice etc.

[DeeArel]

I would be very cautious with mixing this with school. Take it very slow. The faculty will be called upon for references for future employment. Those ahead of you in school will likely be the recruiters and interviewers for prospective jobs.

You can blossom and come out at shool later if you decide that is the lifestyle you want. Pending freedom can cause you to jump too quickly.

[johnthefisherman]

These questions are hard to answer but in N.Y. city You can get away with alot but I would suggest talking to someone in the school about what plans You have and maybe they can be of some help. You should consider getting in some form of counseling before You leave. As for the living conditions only the school can tell You what is possible. But going anywhere in the city You have many options there are so many places too go. And people are more accepting in the city. Just watch where You go You will find out more when You get there or look on the web for some places to go someone here may even be able to help.

Thank you

IMHO, just a bit premature to be worrying about that aspect of your life. get to College, try it out, see how you fit in and how dressing fits into the rugged schedule. College is hard enough without the immense pressures of trying to be female 24/7. Get to know yourself before getting any more pressures. Worrying about future things that may never happen can take the fun right out of everything. Live in the present and make sure it works for you and is fun. Your feminine nature will take care of itself, and when it does, you will not have to even ask the question. You will know.

Barbara

Thanks

I think that if you are exploring at a young age, then doing it at a university far from home is the perfect place, assuming the university is typical and fairly open minded about gender expression, which I believe most already are to varying degrees. You will hopefully also have access to the school's medical center which again normally always offers some type of counseling and therapy for the students. Many students go through some pretty emotional times being away from home for the first time and the schools try to provide help to get them through their difficulties. LGBT counseling, albeit potentially weak, should be part of that. All this out of site and mind of the family and close friends, unless you have some close by in NY. So take it slowly and see what happens. Be careful, network with others similar to your self and you may answer a lot of questions earlier in life than most of the members here were ever able to do. Treat it as an experiment for yourself knowing that you can switch back when you want or when you need a break.

From your pics, I would say you can go male, female or androgynous whenever you like. Since college dressing is very informal, a lot of androgynous clothes will serve you in all three modes. As you can see, I am encouraging to try it to see if you like it, can do it and want to do it more. Good luck and you really do look like a girl in your pics.

Thank you. The place I'm going has a vibrant LGBT community. When I went there, I accidentally walked into an official school-sponsored LGBT student thing, and there were quite a few people there.

Be very careful about the compliments you get here, because few will want to say anything bad; it's a CD support site, after all; we're trying to be nice to each other, and just like real girls, even if you look horrible we're not going to say that. The pictures you have here don't show nearly enough of you to make an educated guess as to how you look in real life. I suggest taking a video with sound and post it on youtube and get back to us with a link, and you can also take a lot of pictures of you dressed up as good as possible, and post them on http://hotornot.com/. That will tell you how good (or not) you look. But even at hour height and weight, passing is still quite rare. Most people in major urban areas will politely ignore your transgender status, however, but don't take that for passing. Post some pictures here first. Remember, about 90% of our lives are the same whether we are male or female. It's the other 10% that will make the difference, and what you do inside the house by yourself won't matter at all. Oh, and your voice can be a giveaway as well, no matter how hard you train it. Puberty can be a real nonreversible bitch sometimes.

Yeah, I was sorta noticing that. The video thing might be hard since I live with my parents now, so the only time I'm able to crossdress is at 3AM when they're sleeping and I'm half-asleep. And thanks for that link. I'll try it. Do you think the pics I posted here are good enough to post there? (It's hard to take new pics due to what I said)

I would stay as a boy and see what the environment at college is like first.
At least they have counsellors that can assist you with your dilemma.
It does happen frequently, so you will not be thought of as odd.
If you come out as a female at the college you will be more readily accepted by others as they observe your change.
I think college people are more understanding and lot less likely to ostracise you than in the real world.
So go as a guy and maybe graduate as a lady.

OK, thank you

As I see it, you are young so you have that perk, you look genuinely female, sure helps, and really that is a major problem for most of us without a lot of talent in doing the make up etc.

I would suggest, you leave and arrive entirely as female, and be female 100% of your time there, and leave your male back home in a box.

But don't blame us if A. you can't find a girl friend and B. you have guys wanting to be your boyfriend

haha Thanks!

It's difficult to give advice with out knowing anything about the college. But most colleges have an LGBT support group on campus, which you should be able to find on the college's web site. I would suggest contacting the faculty advisor of this group for guidence.

Some more progressive colleges have gender neutral housing and restrooms, but some more conservative colleges are not at all tolerant. I would think that, unless you are in a gender neutral dorm, even co-ed, there might be issues, especially if you have a roomate. In a dorm where each room has a provate bath/shower room, it may not be a problem. In a dorm where a pair of "suites" shares a common bath/shower room, there may be issues. In a dorm where there is one or two communal bath/shower rooms per floor, there probably would be issues.

Also, we do not know what your home situation is. Do your parents know and are they supportive of your crossdressing? 10 or 15 years ago it may have been easier to insulate college life from home life. But that is becoming more difficult with Skype, Facebook, and blogs. Our youngest son is currently studying in Paris, France for a semester, and we know more about what is going on in his life than we did about his sister's, who is 10 years older, when she was going to school just a couple of hours away in the same state.

It's a more progressive college. If I get my first dorm pick *crosses fingers*, I get a single, and on each floor there are single-gender shared bathrooms/showers. My parents don't know yet, but they would probably be supportive. I might use Skype with my parents at college (when I get a laptop with a webcam). But my parents don't use Facebook, and I barely use mine. And we don't have blogs. My parents are old, so they don't use/understand the internet a lot, and I make sure I don't have a noticeable public internet presence.

Or..... Instead of spending so much time worrying about what clothes you want to wear you could put some effort into figuring out what you want to do for a living... A carrier... What college is all about... Be a shame if you made it all the way to graduation... wearing pretty dress and end up using your art history degree to work at McDonalds? Lol.

I'm going to be pre-med, and eventually get and MD/Ph.D.

Go/live as a guy in drab so your classmates will accept you and you won't be the talk of the campus, THEN dress as your second-self as a female and go to games, pizza shop, shopping and enjoy life on campus and in town as a girl and in secret. This way you won't be setting your self up for nonacceptance and you can enjoy the secrecy of being two people/genders incognito and it will be safer and a lot of fun. You are blessed with such natural attrabutes that allow you to transition to a very attractive woman, just keep dressing and being a girl, it's far to much fun to not enjoy it to the fulliest.

Thanks This is what I was kind of planning on. The only problem I could see is if those two things eventually blend together. But your plan does sound like one of the best solutions.

Think about housing. Wearing a dress and living in the boys dorm might not be the best idea.

There are no "boys dorms." There are some single-gender suites, but every dorm and every floor is co-ed. But I'm hoping for a single-room (and my crossdressing isn't the only reason. Even if I couldn't do that at all, I'd still want that single).

Because as was mentioned, you might have trouble explaining why you didn't mention your anatomical reality when they were assigning your living spaces. Then again, if you are like many, don't actually use dorms (nothing says you have to) this might not be an issue...After that, well that just means you never shower on campus and you just do what is needed to be a credible girl.

But then you still need to fend off boyfriends

I'm staying on campus for all 4 years, since it's pretty expensive in NYC. I'm hoping for a single (as I stated above in this post). And all of the floors and dorms are co-ed. But if I get that single, I'd probably use the male bathroom on the floor (unless I am dressed as a girl of course).

haha Thank you

So to go a bit against the grain here, I am going to be totally encouraging.

Can you go off to college and live totally as a girl? No. No you cannot. Changing you gender is far to complicated for you at this stage in your life without the complete assistance of a major support system, ie your parents. Are they on board? No? Then it won't happen. If you are paying the bills, it will be far easier.

BUT. And here's the big one.

There is NO environment that you will ever live in EVER that is more accepting of weirdness in dress and difference in presentation. For goodness sake, unless you are planning on attending a religious right bible thumping college you will be able to wear absolutely anything you want. Have you heard of grunge? Hippies? Preppies?

If you do your job well (keep your grades up) no one will give a sweet flying patootie what you wear. Wear ANYTHING! College will be (is) a wonderful place to explore just how it is you want to present to the world in a safe and supported environment. Every college will have stringent anti discrimination policies already in effect. Most will have well organized LGBT offices. There is no where you will ever be that will be as accepting or supportive your college campus.

Change your gender? You may be putting the cart before the horse. There's a lot you have to do to accomplish that. But experiment with wearing female clothes 24/7? You could not ask for, or find, a better place. Go for it.

Please let me echo Karren's advice. College is for beginning the work of finding out just how you plan on supporting yourself, how you are gonna make money, for the rest of your life. Use your time well. This is more important than anything else.

Auntie Stephenie

Thank you Auntie And I'm not really sure I want to change my gender as you say it. "wearing female clothes 24/7" (and attempting to pass obviously) is a much better description of what I hope to do.

I think you have the looks to pull this off. But your living situation might be the hard part.
The chances of getting a single room in NYC are pretty slim, so you have to figure out if your rooming with a guy or girl. I'm not sure how the strait roomy might take to having a changling in their room and how will they explain that to their parents on visiting day?
Are you heading towards transition or just cross dressing? If your going to transition than you need to tell the college so that your treated as female from the beginning.
Your your just CD then your going to have to take the luck of the draw with your roommate, or dress in private.

The single is in the dorm, and quite a few people get singles there. I'm not heading towards transition. Out of all the transgender-related terms, almost all of them apply to me, except transsexual probably (and intersex of course). But hopefully I get my single!

I agree with Karren that your focus should first be on your degree...regardless of how you dress. If you pick something appropriate to your interests and skills, as well as a field in demand, then work very hard and graduate with a good record, you'll have more opportunities in life beyond college.

Regarding dressing at college, I think you could pass, but you need to think about a lot of other factors mentioned above. What about friends and family? What are your long term personal goals? Any thought to transitioning? Do you want to be a male that dresses or become a woman?

As I said above in this post, I'm going to be pre-med, and eventually get and MD/Ph.D. None of my friends are going to be in NYC, and my family is far away. I'm not planning on doing anything so drastic that I can't present as male when visiting them. I'm not completely sure about my long-term personal goals. I want to be a husband and (biological) father, but being a woman (especially in the city) sounds so nice. I definitely don't want genital surgery, so I'm not planning on full transition.

Year one is far to soon. Wait a bit and ensure yourself a plce in year two at least. Then you can see what the water is like and then you will be more confidant rf your studies. Uni is not school and the chang e is huge. A little neglect of what you are there for and you are lost in the world.
S~

Thank you I'll think about that.

I tend to be the voice of caution (and a bit of a wet blanket)...

First and foremost, focus on school and think very carefully about what you will be doing with that degree and if there will be any jobs available in your field by the time you graduate (they may be very hard to get or nonexistent in 4 years, take it from someone who has been there.) I would talk to the school about what you plan to do before signing up and forking over the money (or putting yourself in debt for the rest of your life.) You are young and have limited experience with living as a woman so take it slow and be very careful, once you are out to everyone you cannot go back. Also, outside of the trans stuff, it is a very good idea to learn a marketable skill or trade to fall back on if the jobs in your field go away (again, take it from someone who learned that the hard way, college is no guarantee of anything.)

If you are living on campus and are outed, can you live with that? While colleges tend to be pretty liberal, you are also in a social environment full of young people (especially testosterone pumped up males) who may or may not appreciate the fact you are different. You may face some backlash for it, maybe not but it is possible. I dressed while I was in college (off campus) but kept myself from being discovered (and I would imagine it would be harder being fulltime since you are always visible.)

One more point to consider, while you look very good in your pictures, remember you are still young and puberty can last into your early 20s. You look like you are of Mediterranean ethnicity, and your facial may go from light to dark and course and make passing difficult (I have been there!), and you may continue to have other changes like your voice etc.

As I said above in this post, I'm going to be pre-med, and eventually get and MD/Ph.D. I'm not sure if I can or cannot live with it, since I don't really have a social network there yet. You are off with my ethnicity, but I completely understand why you say that (it's closer than what most people say: Hispanic), but I do come from an ethnicity that is known for being particularly hairy, so I am kinda worried about that. I'm working on my voice kinda, but it's sorta hard to do so with 3 other people in the house.

I would be very cautious with mixing this with school. Take it very slow. The faculty will be called upon for references for future employment. Those ahead of you in school will likely be the recruiters and interviewers for prospective jobs.

You can blossom and come out at shool later if you decide that is the lifestyle you want. Pending freedom can cause you to jump too quickly.

I probably won't go to class as female, mostly because of what you said. As I said, I was kinda planning on only being female while in my room and when doing most social and non-academic stuff (doing stuff for fun and things like shopping)

[Kaz]

Do college first, then come back to it. It will be a diversion that screws your studies... I teach at a UK University... you do not need this extra hassle... your studies are SO important... Priority #1. You can come back to dressing and transition issues later... get the degree!

[busker]

John, just off hand I would say, go to school, do the dressing when you have the urge, but seeing that your intentions are MD/PhD, you are looking at 12+ years of education--maybe an internship in the MD side, Phd in what? Medical areas are not only competitive but I suspect that the males would have trouble with you dressed, and the women would be put off and more women are getting MDs these days as well as PhDs. You are biting off a lot here. You seem to have two major goals that I would say off hand are not very compatible. You also mention fatherhood, marriage, children. whew!!!!!! A journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step, and I would say do it as a male. You face is feminine looking but that is only a photo and in real life it may not be so convincing. Post more from diff angles if possible and perhaps full pictures.

[ColleenA]

John, I don't know which borough of NYC your school is in, but an excellent resource you can turn to is the Sylvia Rivera Law Project in Manhattan. Whereas many LGBT centers at universities and elsewhere focus more on lesbian and gay issues than on TG concerns (not trying to criticize them, but it's true), SRLP is concerned primarily with the TG community. You can check them out on the web before you even arrive in NY.

[Sophie_C]

You know, if I was your age right now, I'd go for it, 100%.

Why?

There's quite a few reasons:

1. You're having a new start and since you'll need to have a new start to try it out, it's the perfect opportunity.
2. If you don't like your life after it, you can just have another fresh start as a guy.
3. You're not going to be the only person in NYC doing this. Look at Kyle Farmery, for example. There's another person who was in this forum who transitioned, as well. People won't be as shocked as you think.
4. While we're at it, most people in NYC are too busy in their own lives and about letting people do their own thing to care. And they're even given a hard time if they do, since it's just treated like they're too weak to handle it. IMO, you're literally going to be bothered the least in any place I've ever been at.
5. The earlier you do it, the better the results will turn out. Don't be entirely hard on yourself now, as you haven't worked it it for long. You can transition well. And, if you do what people are saying, waiting 12 years or whatever, your body will be severely masculized with 12 more years of constant testosterone.
6. If it works out, you can graduate from college as a girl and pretty much have your entire life as yourself. It's much, much easier that way.

Now, to answer the initial question, I believe it'll be hard, but worth it, if a woman is what you truly are. Believe me, I am jealous of your situation.