I was, in my teens and she was sympathetic and promised not to tell a soul and kept her promise.
If you were caught/found out by your mom, how did she react?
I was, in my teens and she was sympathetic and promised not to tell a soul and kept her promise.
If you were caught/found out by your mom, how did she react?
I haven't been caught, but I think my mother would immediately assume I was gay, which would lead to a monumental meltdown. She'd probably keep it inside, and then a couple weeks later, my dad would tell me how much it hurt her feelings. Hell, I might get disowned. My dad would flip his shit for sure. To me, it's not worth my parents' happiness to tell them. Never ever.
I too was in my teens, she told me to take her clothes off and nothing else was ever said...
Last edited by AndreaSC; 06-10-2012 at 06:09 PM.
She never officially found out but I am sure she would have given me the yard stick across the bottom if she had.
Second star to the right and straight on till morning
when my mom found out ____________________
Mom for years thought my dad was chating on her, 2 years ago I found out why. She had found red hair in the bath room, the girl mom thought dad was chatering on her with has red hair and I ware a red wig. The red hir had to be from my wig. So I felt I had no choice but to tell her I am a CD. The first thing she asked me is "are you gay?" I replied with a no mom i'm not gay. Mom: Dose our GF know? Me: Yes, mom she knows and she is ok with it. Mom: Well I do understand why but I still love you. Better keep this form dad .
Wish I could have told her much sooner then I did. Just the way thing work out I guess, but if I did it could have saved a lot of fighting. At least know she knows and is ok with it. She has also stoped thinking dad is cheating on her.
Mom found some girdles of hers under my mattress when I was about 6.
Well I got a talking to, and it went away.
About 2 years later, she found more of the same in a different hiding spot,
Again I got a Stern talking to.
This time i went to work and built in a secrete hiding spot in the bottom of a built
in dresser drawer in my closet.
She never found that spot.
Rader
my adopted mom may have wore girdles an i did some thimes she told me she wood put me an dad in for being fat but wen i went to live with my real mom i started wearing hers well she went to the store i though for a bout 2-3 hrs well gess what happen she come home eraly an i was in her girdle an hose no time to take it off so i though i wiil just wear it put my pants on an went to help her well it was not long an she put her hand on my but she new an said git us a beer we need to talk i was 18 she ask me how long i had doing it an how it felt to me we talk for a long time an she said if i wonted to wear her it was ok but we need to git my one things an we did an she help me be a girl-women i am to day makeup an everthing she is gon but ever time i dress i thank of her i love her so much for what she don for me
My Mom disovered my secret when I was Sophmore. She gave my extra space/time on occasion, to be me. Nothing was ever said, just our little secret. I really miss her now.
Marcia (LOVES) Blue
My Mom yelled at me and told to stay out of my sisters dresser.
Marilyn Monroe: I don't know who invented high heels, but all women owe him a lot.
I came out to my Mom when I was 19 back in 1975. She didn't kick me out or punish me but she was very nasty about it so I told her I "quit" a year or two later and she happily forgot about it. Nowadays I am out of the closet but I live at my sister's place. My Mom is 90 and we take care of her. I simply go about my business and I never dress in front of her or talk about it with her. My Dad has been passed away for years. He wouldn't like my dressing. It would've worried him. He would have passed over the subject of my dressing as if it never happened.
If my Mom had caught me, she would have been angry and upset. Oddly enough, my Dad would likely have been much more tolerant, but I remember how she used to get "disgusted" when she'd see a "drag queen" on TV.
No not caught, but my mom has said somethings that seem like she suspects. I know for sure she pretty much thinks I'm gay(which I pretty much am). She's never came out and said it but I can tell from the way she talks because it was the same way with her suspecting my brother of being gay. She likes to beat around the bush to get you to tell her rather than just asking. I know at some point everything will have to come out, kind of wish she would come right out and say what she thinks. It seems like it would be easier that way.
This post is making me cry.
Mom knew I was wearing her panties and found a few of her things, and my grandmothers, in my room too.
She did not so much discuss, she confronted me," Do you like to dress as a woman." in an angry, disappointed, self answering tone. I said no and made up some stupid excuse that she did not question. In my mind I can still hear her voice and feel my shame...sob sob. She called me a pervert once too, which really hurt and made me cry on another occasion.
I imagine she felt she was shaming me into being normal, and I did not dress for many years, as I could feel that shame, and did not want to disappoint her by being a pervert.
I have done my best to try to be a "normal" male that does not CD but as we know Cd'ing is very difficult to run from......oh drat let me stop with the serious and likely boring diatribe.
I wish Mom were far hipper than she was.
♥♥♥
Noemi
Last edited by Noemi; 06-11-2012 at 12:03 AM. Reason: grammer
polythene pam
This is a post that really cuts to matters very close to the heart of a lot of us - the parental (especially mother) acceptance issue. I never got caught properly per se, but when I was about 11 or so I remember my mum was very uspet was she was putting away teh family laundry and seemed to be in an argument with my Dad. I came in at the end of it, and he seemed to be trying to calm her down, talk her out of whatever it was she was upset about (good old Dad). She then asked me, "have you been wearing my knickers by accident?" Of course she had figured this out despite my attempts to hide it from her. Cue extremely awkward scene and me denying everything. So bad.
Nothing more was ever said about it but I knew she suspected from that day on. Bit of a don't ask don't tell. But she was never keen on the idea of cross dressing and would make negative comments about them if she ever saw one in public. She is pretty disgusted by it all to this day no doubt. My Dad, well I think he'd actually be more tolerant of it, but probably a bit disappointed in me. Hence, I am highly unlikely (nor do I have an urge) to tell them about it. Don't want to hurt them for no good reason.
My mother discovered me with my sisters underwear and some make up, when I was around 12-13. She was very angry that night, told me: "society does not accept gay people" and all the damage I would do to my life, of course asked not to be done anymore. After that, I was never left alone at home but no more was said about it. I stopped to dress for many years until I restarted 30 years later.
Rachelf
Never left at home alone again? Arrrgh! I would have gone mad. I was the queen (still am) of making use of the smallest window of opportunity to dress...mind you, led to many a heart-stopping moment when she or my brother came. Have to say (touch wood) I have never been caught dressed in person to this day
Sad though about how negative a lot of these caught reactions were...just confirms my own fears on what it would be for me in the same situation. It seems so damaging for all parties involved sadly. All I can take from this is the absolute commitment to my own kids to be as open-minded as possible.
Luscious_LeAnne, Wow, that is exactly how it is for me. And I heard my mother saying out loud things like "Gay people must have some kind of illness" when I was around, I'm not really gay, but she certainly assumes it.
I was caught by mom at age 11 was caught wearing her bra late one night in my room. i used o fress whenevet nobody was home and was caught again at age 16 never really got punished just askd why snd do i need to go to a thrtapist i said no and to this fay i dtess on occasion but im married snd the wife knows but doesnt approve my parents dont know and dont plan on telling them either dont want to go thru that grief with them sgain
One afternoon I found my sister's prom dress and tried it on pulling the back zipper up. No matter what I tried I could not reach the zipper to get out of the dress. Mom came home and I called her down to the basement. When she saw she kinda laughed a little and asked why I was wearing the dress. I told her I just wondered what I would look like. She helped me get out of the dress and nothing else was said.
Billie
I posted this on another thread several months ago - simpler to C/P/edit:
I was 15 or somewhere in there when Mom found my 'stash' and put it on the bed but she didn't say anything. I promptly hid it again. She found it again...put it back on the bed...again... but this time cleaned/folded. So, I hid it again...found again...but now its in the drawers and my lone dress, 2 tops and one skirt are hanging in the front of the closet. After that, several times I found panties and/or a bra "accidentally" in my drawer...so I'd wear them instead of sneaking into my sisters room and grabbing them from her dresser. That is till one time I felt guilty about wearing them so I went to put them in Sis's drawer where they belong and sitting on top is the very pair I'm putting back. Mom was 'accidentally' giving me my own panties and other lingerie. Mom bought all our clothes (sis and mine) at that time. About a year or so after that little game of hide and seek I found out a lot of my clothes were coming from a trendy clothing store. A trendy GIRLS clothing store. How?
I had to drive my Mom around for about 3 weeks after she had foot surgery right after I got my license. We stopped at a ladies clothing store and I went in with her. There on one rack was the top I was wearing at the time - a white knit with dark blue knit arm/neck openings and a ring zipper running from the neck to the shoulder along the collarbone...we're talking 1973 here - and another rack several over the pants I had on - dark blue corduroy with no belt loops, no button and a zipper with a 1 inch ring on it that went down instead of up...I loved those pants...thinking about it now, can you imagine how kinky a one inch ring is hanging from your crotch?...god was I naive. OK at this point I wont say that I caught on but while she "shopped" (now that I think about it I wonder if she was, in her quiet way, letting me know where my clothes were coming from) I did some shopping to. I found a baby-blue satin Peasant blouse with puff sleeves, went in a changing room and put it on, came out and found her and asked her what she thought. Her exact words were "If I buy that, your wearing it to school tomorrow". Other than that one time, neither of us ever talked about/discussed it...ever. I wish I had now as she passed several months ago and to that day I had many times thought I'd sit down with her and find out just what she thought or what she remembered. But thats another blessed thing...Mom's have selective memories...
I was never caught and confronted face to face. But I think mom had to know that I was wearing her stuff. I would leave stains on her skirts and dresses. I wanted to come out to her but unfortunately she passed away this past summer.
Brigid
Not by my parents, but by a woman who we rented a room to. I didn't expect her home till later but she came home early from work and caught me dressed in my mom's clothes. I was about 10 at the time. She never said anything to my mom (I think) and she lived with us for a few years and she was almost like a big sister to me. Matter of fact she used to travel to Columbia a few times a year and I'd sleep in her room when she was away, more exploring then too.
I got caught at least three times. The first, I was totally dressed when she unexpectedly came home. I was in the basement, so I had a little buffer, so I scrambled to get everything off before she could get downstairs, but I was naked, and she knew something was up.
I had jammed all of the clothes in a chest. She was rooting around, looking (to this day, I think she planned to catch me) and she found them a couple of hours later...and she melted down. I got called all sorts of names. I was gay. It was the evil influence of cable TV. I was sick...just awful. I hid in my room hoping the floor would open up and swallow me forever.
By the way, I am not counting the times I got caught blotting chap-stick on my eyes like eye shadow in 1st grade, or stuffing nerf balls in my shirt etc, or the time I used candy-colored Easter eggs as pretend eye shadow, or that time I pretended that christmas tree tinsel were Wonder Woman bracelets. Or pulling my socks up to my knees like I was wearing boots. This one, the actual getting caught with everything exposed out there, and my mom knowing exactly what I was wearing, was way worse.
The second "big" time I made the mistake of not getting all of the mascara off one afternoon. She was looking for it and she found it.
The third, after counting something like 486 days in a row without touching anything "feminine", I was in the basement one night and once again, I was completely dressed and made too much noise. She woke up (or, probably was listening for me) charged downstairs and caught me as I was hiding the evidence.
In both cases when I was dressed, at least I hadn't made makeup stage yet. That used to be the last part for me, after everything else was on and perfect (incidentally as I got older, the makeup is almost always first before I even think about getting dressed!)
I cannot tell you how horrible these situations were. I still cringe thinking about it...so much self-doubt and shame and hate inside. I never thought I would get caught, and when I did, I wanted to die.
And people wonder why we are scared to tell our spouses (and admonish us for not doing so). I can't tell you how sad that judgmental stuff makes me feel inside.
Well, if you went through anything CLOSE to what I went through, you would understand. The consequence was so horrible that feeling "normal" (when I did dress) wasn't worth the risk...until at least when it was worth the risk. No matter the possible cost, the need always comes back.
And if I couldn't accept that about myself, how could I tell someone else? I didn't tell my wife everything, even when "it" came out a couple of years ago, because I had repressed a lot of details from myself. It was only after an intense emotional experience that "it" even came to the surface.
I thought I have beaten "her", the inside "her", once and for all. I purged for the 15th time since those days...and it's all back and then some.
I try and deal with it the best way I can, wait for the urges to let "her" out wash by (they always pass) and hope to one day know what it's like to not think about this topic 100 times a day. Sure, the urges pass, but they always come back.
Meghan
Last edited by Meghan; 06-12-2012 at 06:14 PM.
"No matter how far you've gone down a wrong road, turn back."
~Turkish Proverb
I was around 9 years old.
My 15 year old cousin had moved in with us. It was a sad story, her mother had died, her father remarried, the typical wicked step mother, car wreck, her father died and the step mother went into a nursing home.
Somehow in my 9 year old mind, I thought she (the cousin) was getting favorable treatment from my parents. I wanted to get the same kind of treatment.
For some reason I thought if I wore her clothes, my parents and grandparents would shower me with affection also.
I put on a pair of her yellow big panties (this was about 1958) and a pair of her side zip jeans. Nobody even noticed. (In retrospect I don't see how they could not have known, but they didn't say anything to me at the time.)
One time when my parents went on a trip and the cousin was in charge of us. She was downstairs reading a book. I got on a pair of her panties and crawled into her bed. (In our house it was scandalous to sleep in anything but pajamas or a nightgown.)
The cousin came upstairs and turned on the light in her bedroom and saw me in her bed. I feigned being asleep. She came over and ever so gently lifted up the covers and saw me in her panties. The covers came back down, she turned out the light and went and got into my bed.
After a while, I went into my bedroom in just her panties. She was in my bed reading a book. I told her I was scared and wanted someone to hold me. She looked at me and told me to go back to bed and hold myself.
The episode was never mentioned again.
She eventually went away to college.
Fast forward about 5 or 6 years. I had developed a bedwetting problem. Wet beds and wet sheets were a real bummer.
My father insisted I was just to d*** lazy to get out of the bed to go to the bathroom. Lots of tears, spankings and wet pajamas. My mother eventually bought me several pairs of 'stay dry' incontinent pants that I was to wear under my pajamas. I was both embarassed and excited about them at the same time.
My father had remodeled our basement and turned it into a bedroom. I was down there by myself, had a tv and radio and my school desk where I did my homework.
I had progressed to buying my own panties by this time.---this was before walmart and kmart. Went to Kresgee's or Woolworths to get them.
One night I was in bed in a just a pair of panties.
My mother came downstairs to kiss me goodnight. My pajamas were lying on my desk, along with some laundry she had told me to put away earlier in the day.
She told me to get out of bed and put away the laundry like she had told me to do. I told her no, could I do it in the morning, I was tired.
Mother insisted I do as she told me to do. Then she saw my pajamas and wanted to know why I didn't have them on and did I have on my 'protection' (That was our code word for the incontinent pants and diapers I wore to bed....we would NEVER call them by their real names, only by protection.)
Mother than told me to get out of bed right now. I refused. She reached down to pull my covers off of me and I blurted out, "Mom, I'm naked!"
She went over to my desk and picked up my pajama bottoms, gave them to me and told me put them on and put away the laundry.
I put the bottoms on over my panties while still under the covers and got out of bed and started to put away my laundry. She then insisted I wear protection to bed and I was always to wear protection and pajamas to bed. Nice people didn't sleep without pajamas.
She then swatted my butt. She must have been able to tell I had something on under my pajamas because she pulled out the waistband and asked me what I was wearing.
I started crying. I told her it wasn't fair, I hated wearing protection, I hated having to wear big white briefs (JC Penny double seats--she bought them for me) that looked like diapers, I hated wearing diapers to bed and I liked how these underpants felt. I told her I had bought them thinking they were boy's bikini underpants.
She hugged me and said she understood how I felt. But until I outgrew the bedwetting it was so much easier on her to have me wear protection. It was too much trouble to have to laundry everyday--we didn't have a dryer- and to wipe my face and put on my protection and go to bed.
And she stood there. I didn't know what I was supposed to do. I was too embarassed to pull off my pajama pants and have my mother see me in panties. I had only occasionally put on my protection in front of her, never in front of my father.
Finally I said the heck with it, sat on the bed and took of my pajama bottoms. I then walked over to my desk in my panties and turned my back, took off the panties and pulled on my protection.
I started to get back into bed and my mother asked if I was forgetting something. I started to put on the pajama bottoms. No, my mother said, finish putting away the laundry.
I put away the laundry in my chest of drawers just wearing my protection. I was so embarassed and excited at the same time and didn't know why.
When I was done, my mother came over and kissed me and said, 'don't forget your pajamas." and went out the door and turned out the light.
Oh man, I knew I was in trouble. Not only was I a bedwetter, but my Mom had found out I wear panties. And she was probably going to tell my dad. I worried about that until I fell asleep. I think I cried myself to sleep that night. I wished I had on panties instead of protection.
The next day when I got home from school, I was in my basement room lying on my bed watching TV. My mom came downstairs with a bag from Sears.
She sat on my bed and said she loved me and was so proud of me for being a nice young man. She told me she was sorry that I struggled so much. She knew I was a good kid. Things will get better she said. Then, as she leaned over and hugged me, she said, "I understand boys need their privacy," and handed me the bag. "These are for you", she said.
Somehow I knew I had the upper hand. I just laid there and didn't return her hug or take the bag. She got up, left the bag on my bed, said supper will be ready when your father gets home and went upstairs. At the top of the stairs, she turned and said to me, "I am not going to mention this to your father."
After a while, I looked in the bag. There was a package of panties from Sear's. Three pair, blue, yellow and white.
Pretty obvious that often parents have no idea of The Damage they are doing to their children. Especially, often sensitive transgendered
children! Meghan's Story really concerns me. Darlin' you need to get some competent professional Guidance, from someone trained in gender issues. Your beating yourself up, and it's not for any useful purpose. Judging by your narrative, you always have been, and will always continue to be transgendered. THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT! You just need to get some help in accepting whom that wonderful person is, that resides inside you.
I will relate a little of my own background. From earliest memories, I emulated and desired to dress like my Sisters, like my mother, and about any other "glamorous" woman that I happened to notice. Growing up in The 50's and sixties, I had lots of role models to choose from, and I imagine I sampled from them all. Caught by Mom, and my Sisters so many times I can't even guess on a count, but certainly many more than thirty times. All ways the same responses, "Freak-Out" from Mom, derision and shaming from my sisters. I almost laugh when I read some of these threads about "Who's had a female who "encouraged" them." I certainly didn't get any sympathy or love! They didn't understand my behavior, and actively discouraged it. Finally around age twelve, after another very embarrassing episode of being caught, Mom gives it up for just A Bad Mess. Question to Joanie: "Do you want to be a Woman?" "Do you want me to help you?" Ah, but too many years of bad episodes with zero tolerance or acceptance....I'm way too freaked out to admit anything, to tell The Truth about myself. So, I stand there in stunned silence, figuring "If I admit anything, they will lower The Boom. I just can't stand The Rejection and Pain anymore."
BUT, fast forward this tape about ten years. We are now into The Permissive Seventies, I'm mostly grown, and I start to learn about "Others." "Other People," who are just like me! And step by step, I start to find connections with those people. I already knew all about being sneaky and stealthy. So, I begin to learn, and grow, and meet people. Yes ladies, even before The Internet, there were ways to find others. You just had to really fight your inner demons and "gut it out." Initially, my help came from The Gal who ran Rose-Lee's up in Chicago. Made a six hour trip twice, to work up enough nerve to walk into The Store, and honestly answer "YES," when she wants to know if I love to dress. How incredible that first time, actually talking with someone about Femme Things, no judgment, just acceptance. Rosie took a lot of pity on a young crossdresser, "Honey, do you want to meet some people?" That was another huge step. But it worked out! Back then, and it seems as time passed it only got better. Anyway, she's not around anymore, but Rosie I owe you a lot! She was kind to me, when my Family wasn't! She didn't judge, she didn't punish....she just helped.
Any semblance of good mental health I might have found, comes from that good person. She got me started along The Pathway.
My Mom didn't understand, and probably was incapable of helping. That's OK, I really don't hate her for any of those failings. She did what she could, and thought best. But my point for Meaghan and other Gurls who have wasted a lot of emotion on negative things from childhood. "Get Help People!" There are other folks who can, and will help. It doesn't have to be a life of torment and guilt. There are Alternative Pathways, you just have to find them.
Peace and Love, Joanie
Last edited by sterling12; 06-13-2012 at 12:43 AM.
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