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Thread: Am I selling out?

  1. #1
    Member johanna.kitten's Avatar
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    Am I selling out?

    So I got two job Interviews today and I feel like I have to put a suit on for the occation. Darn - that was ling time ago! Scary stuff I might admit. I'm not sure any of the two of them will fit as I have lost 16 kg since I last even looked at them. Sorry about going metric again.

    /Johanna or perhaps Johan today then...
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  2. #2
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    You have to accept all parts of yourself. Every once in a while the male side is bound to come out.

  3. #3
    Junior Member CarolineM's Avatar
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    Good luck on your interviews, whoever you go as! In a perfect society, you might be selling out. Today you're being pragmatic


    Oh, and remember your brolly - it is wet up here


    xxx

    Caroline

  4. #4
    Diamond Member Persephone's Avatar
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    In today's economy we do what we have to do, so best of luck with the interviews.

    I "sold out" once, a lot of years ago. Another firm and mine would occasionally partner on projects. We were doing a joint bid for a project with a company we'd done work for a few years before.

    The head of the other firm, a guy we'll call Joe, was putting the final bid together. He kept paddding it upward and I thought he was going to far.

    "Don't worry," he said, "the other bidder is IBM and they'll be way higher than us."

    I wasn't so sure and expressed that to him. Meanwhile, he said, "the vice-president who will make the final decision is flying in to meet with us. You need to get your hair cut."

    I argued that my hair had been equally long on the previous project we'd done for them, but he was adamant. I finally "sold out" and cut my hair into a more masculine and "businesslike" style.

    We had a good meeting with the prospect's vice-president. He even said, "Didn't you have longer hair?"

    He returned to the east coast and accepted IBM's bid. In the post award conversation with us he said, "I couldn't believe it, you guys were actually asking way more than IBM!"

    Hugs,
    Persephone.
    "If you are living the life you want to live you've successfully transitioned to being the person you want to be." - Eryn.

    "If you truly care about me you should damn well want for me what I want for myself" - Michael Westen (Burn Notice)

    -.-. --.-/-.-. --.-/-.-. -../ Persephone™ and Persephone™ are trademarks of Persephone herself, accept no substitutes. The terms "en femme" and "en drab" originated with Marcia Sampson/Staylace (OBM).

  5. #5
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    How are you going to afford nice clothes if you do not have gainful employment? You can always underdress for the occasion!

  6. #6
    Miss Conception Karren H's Avatar
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    In this job market.... If your serious..... You do what the prospective employer wants you to do... Wear what they wear.... If you don't need a job..... Feel free to wear what ever you like.
    Current Obsession - Breasts and Lingerie!

    .......My Photos

  7. #7
    Member LisaMallon's Avatar
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    Yeh, sadly money is money. It is not 'selling out', it is survival unfortunately.

  8. #8
    Member DeeDeeB's Avatar
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    I've always been told to dress one level above the job you are interviewing for. So if it is an office job where dress is business casual, wear a suit. If it is a warehouse job, dress business casual. If it is as a female impersonater, go for the gown. You are not selling out, you are trying to convince the employer you are the best candidate for the job. So keep the earrings for the first day on the job.

    Dee

  9. #9
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    If u feel you're selling out, Johanna, then u r! But, don't feel bad! Most of us do that many times each day!

    It's like asking us if we ever lie! Only the real liars say they don't! The rest of us admit to it!

    MOST OF US do what we must to get by in the REAL WORLD!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  10. #10
    My Ship has sailed? Barbara Ella's Avatar
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    Not selling out, just selling yourself to the person who is interested. Their dime.

    Barbara
    He (she) who would learn to fly one day must first learn to stand and walk and run and climb and dance.
    - Friedrich Nietzche -
    I may never get to fly like the other girls, but I do so want to dance, so I continue to climb.

  11. #11
    Member rita63's Avatar
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    At least my work clothes, scrubs, are androgynouse. Patents call me Miss and Mam all the time and I don't correct them

    hugs rita

  12. #12
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    I've hired a couple three people here and there. Plus considered a few more.

    A co-worker made an interesting observation and I've come to rely on. It goes some thing line "There is little resemblence between the person that shows up for the interview, to the person that shows up on day 1, to the person that's present at week 6.

    It's one of those observations that I have to agree with because I can't find fault!

    The takeaway for an applicant is "do whatever is necessary to advance to the next stage". Unfortunately I cannot tell you what that is because it varies from interviewer to interviewer..

  13. #13
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    Certainly not. Unless you're committed to full-time existence as a woman, you'll be making compromises from time to time. There's nothing at all wrong with compromise.

    I do have a question, tho. Are you considering going full time in the future? If so, perhaps it would be a good time to familiarize yourself with the Human Resource policies at either prospective employer. Your choice between employers may boil down to the one that is most hospitable to TG employees.

  14. #14
    Member johanna.kitten's Avatar
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    Hia, sorry for the late reply - been a busy bunny.

    So, it is all Johan vs. Johanna...
    johan.jpg johanna.jpg

    Yeah, the jobs I'm going for are all in IT, so I should be alright to be Johanna, but perhpas not at the interview nor the first day. But I always make clear to all parties involved that I take an interest in "fashion". Stephanie, I always underdress, got nothing else, acutally all of Johan's stuff is getting a hard time to stay out of the bin. I have made up my mind, all that stays are 2 black Armani suits, a Versace fur coat, a pair of mens shoes, a white Boss shirt and any items that damaged my wallet with more than $4k.

    Karren, I did actually find some drab jeans in the attic - I was tempted to post them across but opted for the open living room window.

    Dee: Yeah, it is kinda office work, I have not yet landed any of the jobs interviewed for this week (6!). A European stock exchange, Yahoo (short contract), Google, Facebook, a software house and some minor players. Last gig was cool, I could rock up as Johanna in 4'' heels, no worries.

    Finally, yep I do feel I sold out as I really like to keep the full time going, being on HRT for 6.5 months now. Even if I buy a lousy T-Shirt I make sure it is a girlie one. I am even going to ditch my brand new Sony Xperia S in white - for a pink one that will match my bag. I'm also getting a new pink laptop, help me on this one, please!? It needs to be: pink, small, thing, pref. have gps/3G/wifi/hdmi. Lenovo? Eee? I'm going to run Kubuntu on it... Hehe, my old laptop is resting at the airport in Bangkok I suspect... hope it will find a new home someday soon.

    wpid-DSC_0073.jpg

    Hugs
    /Johanna - http://wannabegirl.co.uk

    wpid-DSC_0477.jpg
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  15. #15
    Silver Member BRANDYJ's Avatar
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    My take on it:If you are a CD, then why in the world would you even think of this as selling out? If you are serious about a job then you need to present as the gender you were born as. I can't even begin to think about presenting as a crossdresser while looking for a job, or showing up to work in fem mode on the job. On the other hand, if you are a TS and are in transition, then that's a different matter all together. but I looked at your profile and from what I can see from it and where you posted this thread, I can only assume you are not a TS and are in fact a CD. So leave the CD stuff at home and go win that job! Being a CD is private and personal to me. No need to show up telling the world what you are. So no, it's not selling out.... It's being smart and wise to separate your part time fem interests and your income interests.

  16. #16
    Member Xrys's Avatar
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    It is not selling out, we all must make compromises to survive. As long is you can accept the concequences of the choices you make, then there is no problem. And there is nothing from preventing you fromm changing later. However, since you mentioned that you are on HRT, if you plan on keeping this job for a long time, you might want to start things off as a woman, so there is less confusion when you decide to go full time later. You know the situatuin better than I, I can only speculate and provide sugestions.
    "Your transformation is not a disease. You were just given the key to the door in front of you. There's no need to know the cause. No need for sorrow or sadness. What comes next is up to you. You can use your keys to open the door...or lock it tight." - Urahara Kisuke

  17. #17
    Making a life for Tina! suchacutie's Avatar
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    I would look at it as "advertising". There is something you want (a job) and the way to get this job is to advertise yourself in a way that shows you are capable of doing that job well!

    Advertising!


  18. #18
    Member johanna.kitten's Avatar
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    Advertising sounds good to me Thing is that I'm aiming at transitioning but I have not got that far yet. Yesterday I got my first referral in my new country of residence so I'll be able to continue with my HRT and this time for free as well. I'm now looking at ffs, and other minor improvements that can be done. So, wherever I'll be working, Johanna will take over in a few weeks!

    The modest upper growth after 6.5 Mts of HRT has resulted in UK size 34B, so you won't notice it much when wearing clothes...

    Hugs
    /Johanna
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  19. #19
    Platinum Member Eryn's Avatar
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    Hey, you do what puts food on the table. Get the job, and later on, once your worth is proven, you can make adjustments.
    Eryn
    "These girls have the most beautiful dresses. And so do I! How about that!" [Kaylee, in Firefly] [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
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  20. #20
    Member johanna.kitten's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eryn View Post
    Hey, you do what puts food on the table. Get the job, and later on, once your worth is proven, you can make adjustments.
    I guess. Then again, my skills are in damand big time but it always takes time to locate the good jobs. This time around I have gotten offers from places like
    NYC, Lima, Peru, Sydney and Perth, Australia which I rarely get. Most of the time it is the UK, Ireland and mainland Europe, perphaps South Africa.

    It is my intention to go 100% en femme at work as soon as I land myself that contract. Keep in mind, doing this does not always mean you wear 4'' heels and
    above-the-knee skirts. I'll just adjust to what all other sheilas in the office wear.

    Hugs
    /Johanna
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  21. #21
    Silver Member Tina B.'s Avatar
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    Wear the skirt, you'll look great, probably won't get the job, but then you'll be broke, can't buy food, you will lose weight, and you'll look even better!
    Why would you want to wear the suit, maybe get the job, go out and celebrate getting the job, put on a lb. or two, can't fit into that cute dress, have to go spend all that new money on new dresses and skirts, that's just tiering.
    Tina B.
    Magic is the art of changing consciousness at will.

  22. #22
    Member johanna.kitten's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tina B. View Post
    Wear the skirt, you'll look great, probably won't get the job, but then you'll be broke, can't buy food, you will lose weight, and you'll look even better!
    Why would you want to wear the suit, maybe get the job, go out and celebrate getting the job, put on a lb. or two, can't fit into that cute dress, have to go spend all that new money on new dresses and skirts, that's just tiering.
    Tina B.
    Tina, yeah, there is always two sides of a coin I guess. I had to wear a suit for two days on the trot, it made me feel sick and I think I did sell out in the end.
    Got another interview in about two hours time and I'm going as Johanna, mainly to gain the experience but also to check how tolerante they are. It will be Johanna's first ever interview. It will be fun.

    Hugs
    /Johanna - Can't step down from my RLE
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  23. #23
    wishing on a star! Rebecca Star's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Karren Hutton View Post
    In this job market.... If your serious..... You do what the prospective employer wants you to do... Wear what they wear.... If you don't need a job..... Feel free to wear what ever you like.
    Spot on, seriously it's not rocket science!
    ~ it's not how the world sees you but how you see yourself that counts ~
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  24. #24
    Member johanna.kitten's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rebecca Star View Post
    Spot on, seriously it's not rocket science!
    True, I want the transition so at some point at any job, Johanna will be introduced, and I think the sooner the better. One does not have to overdo things, there would be little need for me to rock up at the new office dressed like in the pictures I've posted on this site.

    /Johanna
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  25. #25
    Member johanna.kitten's Avatar
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    OK, so I'm shortlisted for a pretty cool positon - it is NYSE. I assume there would be little room for Johanna to trot about the office in 4'' heels. Gotta give it a miss... too bad.

    Hugs
    /Johanna
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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