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Thread: Sex with men as Crossdressing girl

  1. #76
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MsJanessa View Post
    Sure there are predators out there who want to hurt CDs or GGs--that doesn't mean we shouldn't date or have intimate relationships--it means we should be carefull
    Who said that you shouldn't date and have sex with men?

    If you're in a venue (OK, I'll say it ... a tranny club) where there are men looking for Tgirls you'll be fine. The dangers lie in straight clubs. You just don't know what the guy who thinks you're sexy will do once he finds out you're not a GG, if he's homophobic. There's no way to control someone else's reaction ahead of time. So how can you "be careful" in a situation like that?

    In the video link that I posted, Gwen Araujo was at a party. She was killed when some of the guys found out she was TS.

    Quote Originally Posted by Princess Chantal View Post
    So when a cd friend tells me their fantasy I usually let them know that in reality they are not being treated as a woman but as a gay bottom. They should be comfortable with male on male contact before preceeding on with their curiousity.
    I agree.
    Reine

  2. #77
    Always be happy Mistybtm's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EmilyWa View Post
    I got this question, from a few of my Cd girls friend, wondering about my sex life ? Do i have sex with men in Crossdress or when i dressup as Emily, Answer is YES !
    and i have some tip for any girls who might want to try any sexual actions with guy!
    1. Honesty : You must be honest to the person you going to have sex with that you are Crossdress, many guys have an fantasy of a girl with a dick.
    2.Looking for someone who have an Open mind about SEX>
    3. Make sure ( MUST ) that your makeup done right, Your wig are tight and not going to fallout during the sexual activity : )
    4. Shave all of your Facial hair and body hair.
    5 Use Condom ( MUST )
    * If guys wanted to have sex with you doesn't mean he love you or he might but the most important is you and him enjoy the moment....

    EmilyWa
    very good advise, I do all the things on your list all ready except the body hair hard to get the back hairs when you live alone. every thing else yes.
    Mistybtm

  3. #78
    TrueNorth Strong & Fierce Princess Chantal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReineD View Post
    In the video link that I posted, Gwen Araujo was at a party. She was killed when some of the guys found out she was TS.
    Actually in October of 2010, there was assumed an instance here in Winnipeg that a guy committed an arson to a bath house due to being "fooled" by a transgendered person. The end result there was 2 casualities in the fire, one being a drag queen friend. I haven't heard if the dq friend was the one that had interacted with the arsonist prior to the fire.
    But looking at Remembering our dead list and reading the articles associated with the deaths, you would notice quite a common theme with what happened to Gwen
    Last edited by Princess Chantal; 06-18-2012 at 01:17 AM.

  4. #79
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Thanks for posting this, Chantal.

    I'd like to add that Max was perhaps under the impression earlier that I was advocating against CDers dating men. This is not true, I think it's wonderful when male-attracted CDers find men they can be with. But the stark reality at least in this part of the world is unfortunately, homophobia is alive and well. I'm not saying that every man is homophobic, but I think it's important for people to develop a very strong sense of the general attitudes in their own milieus and not get lost in a sense of false security. It's a tricky balance.

    When this thread started it raised a red flag for me because it was posted by someone who lives in a part of the world that accepts transwomen more easily than they are accepted in the Western world. And Emily's OP came off as if the only requirement for safety is to tell a straight guy that you're trans, and as long as you do this then you can go ahead and have a good time. While this may be true in Thailand, it's not the case here. A beautiful TS could be sitting at a bar 20 feet away from a guy that she hasn't even spoken to, and if he has been eying her all night then finds out she's TS things can get out of hand.
    Last edited by ReineD; 06-18-2012 at 02:44 AM. Reason: Correcting the OP's name.
    Reine

  5. #80
    TrueNorth Strong & Fierce Princess Chantal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReineD View Post
    A beautiful TS could be sitting at a bar 20 feet away from a guy that she hasn't even spoken to, and if he has been eying her all night then finds out she's TS things can get out of hand.
    So true, Several years ago, while I (not crossdressed) and a few friends were out enjoying the night at one of Winnipeg's popular Exchange District night clubs there was some chatter floating around the club about beating up a "*******". Apparently the transperson had attracted some interest from several guys. After dancing with one of the guys the truth of her birth gender was exposed and didn't take long for the transphobic juices to gush out.
    Thank gawd the staff of the club got a whiff of the chatter and took the appropriate actions. At the end of the night, a couple bouncers accompanied the tsperson and her gg friends to make sure they were safe while they waited for the taxi.

  6. #81
    Senior Member Presh GG's Avatar
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    As Reine so well pointed out, we have a few very beautiful TS women here on the forum who were almost killed just for being.. period.

    One was just getting her mail.

    Yes, things are differant here . Error on the better side of caution.

    Good night,
    Presh

  7. #82
    Member Sandy Michaels's Avatar
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    there area dangers everywhere. people slip in the shower everyday. walk outside and get hit by a bus. random things always happen. yes there will be targeted events, but that applies to everyone. that's not going to stop me from dressing or enjoying the company of men or women. you just have to be smart about it. don't let fear ruin your experiences. go out have fun, and i can't stress the importance of practicing safe sex.

  8. #83
    Member Sophia Claire's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MsJanessa View Post
    Sure there are predators out there who want to hurt CDs or GGs--that doesn't mean we shouldn't date or have intimate relationships--it means we should be carefull
    We are living a deceptively dangerous lifestyle. I recommend everyone take a good self-defense class. They're fun, and they just might save your life!

    Krav Maga is a very good one for self-defense. It's the same thing that Israeli soldiers use for self defense when they're walking through Palestinian neighborhoods of their cities. Apparently, they get jumped frequently in the poorer neighborhoods. Without getting into the politics of it, they're isolated in an incredibly hostile environment and frequently have to brawl their way out. Actually, come to think of it, things can very quickly become THAT intense for us as well...

    If you can find it, there's a martial art called Bujinkan Ryu Budo Taijutsu. This is the stuff! It combines the surviving schools of Ninjutsu into one very diverse art whose main philosophy is less about winning the fight as it is escaping with your life. VERY difficult to find a school, though.

    Filipino Martial Arts is a lot of fun and will teach you a lot about the mechanics of a fight as well as how to use basically any little bit of scrap that's lying around as a weapon, but it's mostly a "shed blood first, ask questions later" art, so defending yourself with FMA can get really ugly, legally speaking. Keep in mind that legally you're only allowed to use JUST ENOUGH force to maintain positive control of a situation. But then, given the staggering history of extreme violence against CD/TG/TS folks, perhaps you can justify going straight for the sayoc dagger (it's a foot long double edged nasty looking thing) approach.

    Seriously, ladies. It's worth considering.

    Hugs,
    Sophie

  9. #84
    Aspiring Member Desiree2bababe's Avatar
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    I wouldn't blame any guy for wanting you, you are gorgeous!!

  10. #85
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sandy Michaels View Post
    there area dangers everywhere. people slip in the shower everyday. walk outside and get hit by a bus. random things always happen. yes there will be targeted events, but that applies to everyone. that's not going to stop me from dressing or enjoying the company of men or women. you just have to be smart about it. don't let fear ruin your experiences. go out have fun, and i can't stress the importance of practicing safe sex.
    This brings to mind another point. I don't know if you or others have watched the video about gender earlier in the thread (the full series is here: http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...ead.php?175742), but I'm guessing that men who are prone to homophobia might be particularly nasty towards transwomen who are genuinely sexy by both TS and GG standards, in other words if these homophobes truly have no clue ahead of time that the woman he is attracted to is trans. There's a big difference between looking like this:

    http://krodack.files.wordpress.com/2...iladyboys1.jpg
    (This pic was taken from this article: https://pittqueertheoryf11.wordpress...d-sexing-race/)

    ... and looking like the majority of CDers who post pics in the Gallery here. Although many of our members are beautiful, they are not in the same league as the transwomen in the picture above (they're not on hormones, they haven't had FFS, they may be much older). I shouldn't think they'd incite the same type of violence and hostility, since in real life, people can tell they are not genetic women when they look closely or interact with them, and therefore they won't "fool" a homophobe in the same way. There's a subtle difference here but it may be an important one.

    It's complicated though, and I've no doubt there is still strong hostility among some homophobes just based on a general hatred of transfolks, even if they are not attracted to her because they know ahead of time she is not a GG. Some of the pics of the transwomen who were murdered in post #78 show transwomen past a certain age who as previously mentioned, were attractive but without being in the same league as a Thailand showgirl.
    Last edited by ReineD; 06-18-2012 at 08:15 PM.
    Reine

  11. #86
    Member Lorenqt's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MsJanessa View Post
    Sure there are predators out there who want to hurt CDs or GGs--that doesn't mean we shouldn't date or have intimate relationships--it means we should be carefull
    I've been both physically and sexually assaulted, so I know all about predators. I try not to let it get to me, but honestly, it can be hard. Some times when I'm talking with a guy for the first time, in the back of my mind is "Is he going to hurt me too?"

    Life goes on. I have to go on - otherwise they win. Just be careful, stay aware of your surroundings, and listen to yourself (if your mind is telling you "Danget, get out!" there might be a good reason).
    Proud Daughter of the South
    http://www.facebook.com/loren.smith.581

  12. #87
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lorenqt View Post
    I've been both physically and sexually assaulted, so I know all about predators. I try not to let it get to me, but honestly, it can be hard. Some times when I'm talking with a guy for the first time, in the back of my mind is "Is he going to hurt me too?"

    Life goes on. I have to go on - otherwise they win. Just be careful, stay aware of your surroundings, and listen to yourself (if your mind is telling you "Danget, get out!" there might be a good reason).
    There 's a really good way to start the evening! that makes a person relaxed and ready to enjoy dinner, etc. if that is all I could anticipate in my life, I would be making dates with right hand. sometimes the danger signal might come too late and there is no time to get out. It is not a life that I would want. I would definitely be re-examining my life. sorry if this sounds like a criticism--it isn't , just a comment on a way of life that I personally wouldn't endure ( though you are obviously free to do as you wish, it is your life) , cding and/or sex be damned.

  13. #88
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReineD View Post
    This brings to mind another point. I don't know if you or others have watched the video about gender earlier in the thread (the full series is here: http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...ead.php?175742), but I'm guessing that men who are prone to homophobia might be particularly nasty towards transwomen who are genuinely sexy by both TS and GG standards, in other words if these homophobes truly have no clue ahead of time that the woman he is attracted to is trans. There's a big difference between looking like this:

    http://krodack.files.wordpress.com/2...iladyboys1.jpg
    (This pic was taken from this article: https://pittqueertheoryf11.wordpress...d-sexing-race/)

    ... and looking like the majority of CDers who post pics in the Gallery here. Although many of our members are beautiful, they are not in the same league as the transwomen in the picture above (they're not on hormones, they haven't had FFS, they may be much older). I shouldn't think they'd incite the same type of violence and hostility, since in real life, people can tell they are not genetic women when they look closely or interact with them, and therefore they won't "fool" a homophobe in the same way. There's a subtle difference here but it may be an important one.

    It's complicated though, and I've no doubt there is still strong hostility among some homophobes just based on a general hatred of transfolks, even if they are not attracted to her because they know ahead of time she is not a GG. Some of the pics of the transwomen who were murdered in post #78 show transwomen past a certain age who as previously mentioned, were attractive but without being in the same league as a Thailand showgirl.
    That is for certain ( and should perhaps be a warning about threads dealing with "passing"), but it isn't clear whether these are pre- or post-op TS and whether the intention here is homosexual encounters or not, or are these LBs looking for partners and long term relationships, gay or straight. The article you mentioned sounds generally like academic hooey though it does confirm what I have read on a Thai website that LBs are only partly accepted and that MONEY is the object in many transactions.
    " Plessy v. Ferguson. The Plessy case was central to the identification and separation of bodies as being either “black” or “white.” One could stretch this I guess from the doctrine of separate but equal, to be something about gay/black/white/straight , but that would be twisting this all out of common sense, like saying the statue of Liberty has something to do with immigration.

  14. #89
    Outdoor girl seeking..... Sam-antha's Avatar
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    From the mix of replies I am beginning to wonder what the original query was about... certainly it was not about healthy safe sex. Although it would seem that not a few members could use advice in this area..... eg that the use of toothpicks does open minor blood wounds in ones mouth and that a condom is hardly a protection then....but that info is obtainable elsewhere surely...not here.
    The forum query was specific to CD members wishes and actions dressed/out.
    For myself I am almost past any multi-faceted active sex by now and with years of experience behind me, one way or another, I would say that if you have a boat, go rock it, knowing the risks. If you donot yet have a boat, go and find one, it might just turn out to be fun.
    Remember too that sex is for fun.
    ~Samm
    Last edited by Sam-antha; 06-19-2012 at 07:58 AM.

  15. #90
    Silver Member victoriamwilliams1's Avatar
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    I did not watch the videos yet however I will chime in:

    I am married to a wonderful woman and I often have said "he is married" but "she is not" She is referring to my girl side! Now to be 100% transparent I will say that yes I have been attracted as a woman and only as a woman to a few guys and I have thought about them! I have even been kissed by a guy and at the time I did not like it and at times I have thought about him but not in a sexual way.

    Now personally because I am married I do not cross that line nor do I want to cross that line. I have been asked out by guys which I have not taken the offers because they are in other states and I understand that if I open the door to a relationship with a guy it can create some problems that I do not want to think about. I will say that many girl do dress to have relationships with men because they want the full experience of being a woman, which is fine for them and they take risk that should not be taken. I for one over the last few years been asked out and proposed to and I thought I was a hot mess and at times I still think I am! However like I have said in the past I have met only one guy and I have only fell for one guy and he left that job! I am glad he did cause in girl mode I wanted in a bad way!! In guy mode I could care less!

    However if your a full time woman and your into guys just be safe and be honest with them!!

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