Opened up tp a few. Both GG's said to just stop it.

[Alice Torn]

[SIZE="3"]In the last few weeks, I decided to open up to two more women i have been talking to a long tome, one, 30 years. Both were shocked. Both said it was wrong, and one said to throw the dress away. That God hates it, and I was born to be a man, not a woman. I am saddened that they have no desire to understand. My mom died yesterday, and I am feeling a bit low, but mostly about the hostility my friends have toward any dressing. I don't see most of society or religious people EVER accepting.[/SIZE]

[Voulez-Vous]

I don't see most of society or religious people EVER accepting.

Then WHY are you telling them?

[Alice Torn]

Sometimes, i feel i just have to open up, and let the chips fall where they may. This forum is my only support.

[Bree-asaurus]

Sometimes, i feel i just have to open up, and let the chips fall where they may. This forum is my only support.

I'm sorry to hear about your mom

See if you can find some local support groups (and from there, a recommendation for a good therapist) if you are in need of help. I may not have been here today had I not found the support I needed.

And right now you are going through a difficult time with the passing of your mom... try not to do anything drastic in other areas in your life (cross dressing, transgender, transsexual, whatever) when you are in such a vulnerable state. One thing at a time. I wish you the best

[S. Lisa Smith]

Condolences about your Mom. I know that sometimes you feel like you must tell a certain person, but sometimes you just have to realize that it can just be a bad idea. There were a couple of women I wanted to tell, I didn't and now I'm glad. Long story but to make it short, they were SOs of friends and they broke up with them ugly...

[Wildaboutheels]

Sorry about the loss of your mother.

And no matter how good our friend/s or how long we have known them? It's the same as with a SO in my book. NO ONE can reliably predict how open minded they will be about CDing or any other "charged" topic. Some already have their minds made up and simply won't even consider any discussion on certain matters. Certainly not the type of people I tend to associate with.

I see "society" accepting long before people that are possibly Religious fanatics.

[sterling12]

Very sorry to hear about your mother. In a few weeks or a few months, expect to really be hit with a lot of grieving. If you aren't warned, and prepared for that eventuality, it can take a huge psychological toll, and cause many problems.

I am hopeful you did not bring this subject up at The Hospital, or in relation to some other aspect of your Mother's Death. If these are relatives or people close to your Mother, they would deem it inappropriate, and very bad timing. But, I will assume that didn't happen!

Now something a little more positive. The Importance of telling others about yourself moves forward The Process of helping YOU. No, I would not expect a lot of empathy from people who viewed themselves as fundamentalists, nor would I expect them to be sympathetic. They have The Right to accept or reject your message. But, that doesn't change anything. Do YOU feel better for having unburdened yourself? Did sharing your long-held secret, relieve some of your Angst? It should have! If you let their reactions spoil your effort, then you let them win. If you did The Right Thing, be content with it. Ultimately, all happiness or unhappiness comes from within ourselves, don't fall in to The Trap of allowing others to dictate your own feelings.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Kate Simmons]

Pretty much Alice but I never ask anyone for "permission" (or acceptance) in regard to being who I am. Any one in charge of their own destiny knows what I mean. I simply tell it like it is Hon. If they have a problem with it, it's their problem (and their loss), not mine.

[Eryn]

Before opening up to anyone about anything you have to consider if their world-view will allow them to be considerate of you. People with closed minds can be compassionate as long as that which is troubling you falls within the boundaries of what they have been told is acceptable. Outside of that, they will fall back on the simplistic "That is wrong, period!" argument and mentally wash their hands of the situation.

In short, you need to broaden your spectrum of friends.

I'm sorry to hear about your mother. Remember to be good to yourself and concentrate on the good things.

[Silentpartner GG SO]

Sorry to hear about your mum Alice - and sorry that the GG's you chose to open up to were not favourably receptive. Unfortunately some people are too ingrained in their beliefs and prejudices to understand another viewpoint.

[Kaz]

Again, so sorry to hear about your mother... I have come close with mine in the last few years, though so far okay...

I just want to reiterate some of the statements here. This site is my support group. The people here are great. I tell no-one, but am prepared to talk about it if they find out. Many people have really ingrained belief systems and you need to identify these before telling anyone. Religion is a big problem because of the extent of potential indoctrination and institutionalisation, but so are other social belief systems. My wife is not particularly religious but her moral code does not accept CD in her life. One of my daughters is more tolerant. I still get bad reactions from people in my professional life discovering I play guitar in a rock band! There is no accounting for where people are going to come from I am afraid.

On a plus note, it makes life interesting, but on the downside, lack of tolerance to diversity is the root of many of the world's problems... historically, things do not look hopeful for a remedy!

[whowhatwhen]

If god exists, I'm sure he or she is more concerned with you being happy and living your life.

Otherwise look at it this way, the amount of people apparently going to hell means our army will not only be much larger, but have much better taste.
*snaps fingers*

[Kaz]

If god exists, I'm sure he or she is more concerned with you being happy and living your life.

Otherwise look at it this way, the amount of people apparently going to hell means our army will not only be much larger, but have much better taste.
*snaps fingers*

Haha! Don't care where I go as long as I get to dress indefinately!

[connie23]

So sorry about your mom. I lost my dad last week and felt the need for all sorts of connections. Please take care of yourself and believe that you are valuable no matter what some closed minded people think. This may not be the time to try to expand the group of people who know about your dressing. Use us to support you, we care and understand.
Love
Connie

[Alice Torn]

Thanks to everyone. Good advice. Sorry Connie about your dad last week. My dad is 91, soon to go. Very difficult man. Yes. i had better cool down the dressing, and just easy does it for a while.I had hoped to venture out soon dressed up. The women i opened up to, are not relatives. Almost all my relatives are dead now. I am a spiritual, semi-religious person, but also a dresser. I am getting to not care so much what others think, but, would never let my brothers, sister, or dad know. I am admitting that i am a bit paranoid, though, and if this town i stay in knew, it could be heap big trouble for me. I would go to another city to go out. There was a time, when i condemned crossdreseers and gays. Sadly, too much hate on both sides.

[Raquel June]

[SIZE="3"]In the last few weeks, I decided to open up to two more women i have been talking to a long tome, one, 30 years. Both were shocked. Both said it was wrong, and one said to throw the dress away. That God hates it, and I was born to be a man, not a woman. I am saddened that they have no desire to understand. My mom died yesterday, and I am feeling a bit low, but mostly about the hostility my friends have toward any dressing. I don't see most of society or religious people EVER accepting.[/SIZE]

Sorry it didn't go well, but you told them and you can't un-tell them. So you have to choose to either accept their condemnation and accept them thinking of you as a pervert who is defying God, or you can stand up for yourself. And let me tell you something about women -- they'll respect you a lot more if you stand up for yourself. And they'll be disgusted by you if you don't. I'm not saying to be aggressive with it and put on the dress in front of them. You don't have to even mention it again beyond saying you're not going to apologize for it.

But if they're Christian then you probably want to be clear with them that you're not a pervert. That you're just you. Try to explain it on an emotional level that isn't like an evil animalistic urge.

And you might want to also mention to them that the only part of the Bible condemning crossdressing is in the Old Testament -- which also condemns eating pork, doing anything on Saturday, and being near a woman who is menstruating. The Old Testament also endorses slavery and explains how to hold a guy's wife hostage unless he agrees to be your slave. And it endorses selling your daughters to people. So if they think that's all good advice then by all means they should criticize the way you dress.

And you might want to mention to them that Jesus had no earthly possessions other than a purple dress and some sandals. And Jesus said over and over that we don't have to listen to the laws of the Old Testament. And that the only thing we do have to do is love God and love our neighbor.

I hope these women have long hair, though. Because there are many passages of the Bible saying that it is a disgrace for a woman to have short hair. And many of them are in the New Testament. And they also need to cover there heads when they pray. That is, if they want to be good Christian women.

[Badtranny]

There was a time, when i condemned crossdreseers and gays.

...and what you sow, ye shall reap

[MsJanessa]

You really need to get some friends who are more tolerant and understanding---How in heavens name would she know that "God hates it" Did he tell her?? I can't beleive that God cares one whit about your fashion choices or make up.

[Raquel June]

...and what you sow, ye shall reap

Ouch! We can all change.

[RADER]

Sometimes, i feel i just have to open up, and let the chips fall where they may. This forum is my only support.

Alice; I can understand you wanting to talk to someone. That is what this forum is all about.
Her is a place that similar idea liking people can get together and talk and consoled one another.
I am from Northern Illinois, Not far from Great America Them Park.
PM me if you want to talk or even have a cup of coffee some time.
Rader

[Barbara Ella]

Very sorry to hear about your mom Alice. I know you feel the need to talk with others. Right now, you need to recover from your Mom's passing. give it some time before you decide to open up again. And make sure the people you tell really have a need to know.

Barbara

[giuseppina]

Sorry to hear about your mother, Alice.

I am not a member of the clergy, but I doubt God cares how you dress, as long as don't dress indecently. I would ignore those women.

...and what you sow, ye shall reap

This is the entirely the wrong time for that grossly insensitive comment. Alice just lost her mother, for heaven's sake!

[Eryn]

This is the entirely the wrong time...

[moderator hat on]

I think that this point has been made sufficiently. Let's get back on topic, please.

Thanks, Eryn

[ronda]

sa far god not liking you in a dress my reply would be god made me this way why would he hate me in a dress i don't hurt anyone i was made in his image I am very sorry to hear about your mother you are in my prayers. Hugs Ronda

[NathalieX66]

The Bible is full of contradictions.
On one hand, in the Old Testament (the pre-Jesus part) is Deuteronomy 22: 5 "A woman must not wear men's clothing, nor a man wear women's clothing, for the LORD your God detests anyone who does this".

Then the New Testament (the Jesus part) Matthew 19:12 For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it."

I respect religion, but I'm as secular as it it gets. I'm also pro equality for all. Peace & love.