I have come along way with my acceptance over the years. I joined this group almost 4.5 years ago. I was really suicidal at the time because of what partners did to destroy my life. I was getting close to ending my life when I decided to deal with one last issue in my life. Luckily it happened to be crossdressing. I had started at the age of 5 and hid it from everyone. Finally at the end of my life I wanted to go out dressed which ultimately changed my life forever. In August 2008 I went out dressed to Walmart after sitting in the parking lot for 4 hours. That day was the day that I learned to get past my fears.
See the main problem that I felt was unworthy and damaged goods because of what the partners did. The day I went out dressed I conquered my first fear in over 2 years. It was the fear that changed the world. Within 90 days I recovered 1/2 of my business I lost that day in 2006.
Dealing with my crossdressing caused me to face myself. I learned how to deal with the complexities of being TG. I led a meetup group here in Denver for over a year. We grew to over 220 members in just 13 months. I have flown several times and spent several weekends as Michelle in SF and Chicago. I have been to broadway plays, ballet and eaten out so many times I can't count.
A dear friend of mine told me that I would battle all of this until I finally found balance. Balance was defined as feeling the same way regardless of what I was wearing. I finally achieved that goal and the need to dress changed for me. It was more of a form of expression, but it didn't stop there. I haven't been on this forum much in the last year because I went past that to not dressing at all. There will be plenty who say that it never stops and they are right. That's why balance was so important to me. I still feel like I am cd'ing, but I'm wearing male clothes.
I wanted to say thanks to everyone on here for getting me through the tough times. I may come back from time to time, but I won't stay long. My journey lies in a different path. I hope I can find the support system to help me with all of that just I found here. I wish all of you the best. Good luck to you in your journey.